# Chickens! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 13, 2011, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562 "2011-08-13T10:44:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562/1 "2011-08-13T10:44:35Z")
I’m looking after two hens for a week. My stated duties are:[ul][li]Let 'em out of the coop in the morning[/li][li]Feed 'em[/li][li]Pick up their shit[/li][li]Chase them out of the vegetable patch[/li][li]Collect any eggs (and eat them)[/li][li]Lock up the coop at night[/ul]My knowledge of the birds is, however, scant. Should anything untoward happen, I wouldn’t know what to do.[/li] For example I found the brown one in the coop just now standing in the nest, with the black one standing in the door looking at her in (with unjustifiable anthropomorphosis) a concerned way. Now they have switched places and the black one is lying in the same nest in what looks like a very uncomfortable position. Are they just taking turns in laying eggs? (The brown one seems very much to be the alpha, so she may have prompted the black one to lay - need to check the nest for any breakfast goods.) So how would I know if one of them is sick? What should I do about the inside of the coop? Does it need regular cleaning? How do I know if one of them is getting broody? And if so, what to do about such behaviour? Anyone with any experience in caring for hens please give me some tips! ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562/2 "2011-08-13T12:06:51Z")
Tell them to be careful when crossing roads. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562/3 "2011-08-13T12:23:54Z")
> [@Celyn](#): > > Tell them to be careful when crossing roads. Why would they do that? ---
**Author:** ![Fiveyearlurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@Fiveyearlurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveyearlurker)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562/4 "2011-08-13T12:49:18Z")
I have two hens, and the behavior you’re descrcibing is normal. They are never separated from each other. So, when one is laying an egg, the other is right outside the coop chearing her on and waiting for her to finish so they can get back to trying to sneak into the vegetable patch. They also lay in the exact same place, so it’s possible they’re just both almost ready, and switching places. Don’t put too much emphasis into figuring out why they do things. Their brains are the size of a marble. ---
**Author:** ![Clumsy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Clumsy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clumsy)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562/5 "2011-08-13T12:58:46Z")
jjim, are they lying on top of eggs, or not? If they are, it’s broody behaviour, which is fine, just remove the eggs when you can. As there are only two hens (and depending on the size of the coop), a once a week clean should be more then fine. Don’t worry about them getting sick 😛 The signs for that would be fairly obvious physically ( a dullness and losing a lot of feathers) but I very much doubt that will happen on your watch. And has been mentioned, don’t try and psychoanalyse the buggers, they are all mad. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562/6 "2011-08-13T12:59:44Z")
What came first? ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562/7 "2011-08-13T13:46:25Z")
> [@Celyn](#): > > Tell them to be careful when crossing roads. > [@jjimm](#): > > Why would they do that? To get to the other side. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![StuffLikeThatThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@StuffLikeThatThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StuffLikeThatThere)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562/8 "2011-08-13T13:47:19Z")
> [@Fiveyearlurker](#): > > Their brains are the size of a marble. If they’re lucky. Do not try to understand the behavior of chickens, for that way lies madness. (Or at least a lot of wasted time.) ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562/9 "2011-08-13T14:00:25Z")
They both came out of the coop (into the vegetable patch) and sure enough, two eggs for my breakfast! Thanks for the advice in not paying their behaviour any notice. They are in fact idiots, though one is more of a pain in the ass than the other one. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562/10 "2011-08-13T14:59:17Z")
Why on earth would you pick up their shit? Or are you joking? Chicken shit is great for the garden and just simply absorbs into the grass or whatever when they are out. We are building a coop and the guy we are getting the chickens from is very happy they will be in our back yard because it’s fenced in and untouched for years…they will eat every grasshopper, and insect and be the fattest chickens ever…until winter of course. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562/11 "2011-08-13T15:27:13Z")
> [@](#): > > Thanks for the advice in not paying their behaviour any notice. They are in fact idiots, though one is more of a pain in the ass than the other one.[URL=“[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/editpost.php?do=editpost&p=14134231](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/editpost.php?do=editpost&p=14134231)”] This is completely normal for chickens, including the bit about one being more of a pain than the other one. Chickens are incredibly dumb. ---
**Author:** ![Lightlystarched](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Lightlystarched](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightlystarched)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562/12 "2011-08-13T17:32:39Z")
Hmph. MY chickens are not dumb. If I run the hose, they come running to see what bugs I scare up. They’ve trained my children to catch crickets and geckos for them. They like to stand on the kitchen window ledge and watch us inside the house - like we are their goldfish. They have me well trained to run outside first thing in the morning to give them food, as they start bagokking. Chickens are really fun, and have very distinctive personalities. Have fun caring for them! ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562/13 "2011-08-13T20:08:39Z")
Geckos? ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562/14 "2011-08-13T20:33:55Z")
> [@](#): > > Pick up their shit 😕 This makes no sense at all. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2011, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562/15 "2011-08-14T00:45:53Z")
> [@Phlosphr](#): > > Why on earth would you pick up their shit? Or are you joking? Chicken shit is great for the garden and just simply absorbs into the grass or whatever when they are out. Depends on what sort of set-up you have. If they’re on grass or have a lot of space, poop accumulation isn’t a problem except inside the coop. If they’re on sand or have a fairly small space, it’s more prone to getting stinky fast. Either way, the poo board or trough needs to be cleaned every couple days. Chickens shit a _lot,_ far more than you would ever believe such a small animal could. ---
**Author:** ![Lightlystarched](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Lightlystarched](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightlystarched)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2011, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562/16 "2011-08-14T01:32:22Z")
> [@Rysdad](#): > > Geckos? Yeah. They luuuuurve geckos. If one of them gets one, the other chickens will chase after her trying to get her to drop it. I feel kinda bad, because the geckos are great predators and they live under our shutters by the front porch. At night, they come out and walk across the screens and eat lots of bugs. It’s a very happy chicken that gets a gecko! ---
**Author:** ![StuffLikeThatThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@StuffLikeThatThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StuffLikeThatThere)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2011, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562/17 "2011-08-14T01:54:42Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > Depends on what sort of set-up you have. If they’re on grass or have a lot of space, poop accumulation isn’t a problem except inside the coop. If they’re on sand or have a fairly small space, it’s more prone to getting stinky fast. Either way, the poo board or trough needs to be cleaned every couple days. Chickens shit a _lot,_ far more than you would ever believe such a small animal could. Or if you have a [chicken tractor](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicken_tractor), you roll them to new grass and go merrily on your way. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2011, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562/18 "2011-08-14T02:07:29Z")
> [@Lightlystarched](#): > > Yeah. They luuuuurve geckos. If one of them gets one, the other chickens will chase after her trying to get her to drop it. I feel kinda bad, because the geckos are great predators and they live under our shutters by the front porch. At night, they come out and walk across the screens and eat lots of bugs. > > It’s a very happy chicken that gets a gecko! I’ll say. [Here’s the gecko that got laid by a chook.](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/1966106/What-came-first-the-egg-or-the-gecko-inside.html) ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2011, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562/19 "2011-08-14T08:13:05Z")
Ah, one of the greatest debates of our time; one that at best devolves into partisan bickering every time it rears its head, and at worst setting brother against brother, mother against daughter, causing war, strife and misery. Namely: to pick chicken shit or not to pick chicken shit. The _contra_ argument is put succinctly and ably by my esteemed colleagues: > [@Phlosphr](#): > > Why on earth would you pick up their shit? Or are you joking? > [@Harmonious Discord](#): > > 😕 > > This makes no sense at all. Let me hope to elucidate the _pro_ argument in such a way as to bring enlightenment to those on both sides of the age-old question, and thus end the debate forever, in order to alleviate the world’s suffering for good. As **CrazyCatLady** says, these things produce more shit than you could possibly imagine. Possibly their own bodyweight in poo, every day. If their species didn’t make eggs or taste good with bacon across its back and lemon and thyme stuffed up its arse, it would still be respected as a bio-robotic shit resource. As mentioned, there are two of them and neither is civilised enough to confine its defacation to a marked area - they just open their cloacae when the urge takes them and let fly. Well, let drool. Thus they run around on my friends’ lawn, producing a Gaussian distribution of chicken tods. And indeed these tods are fine fertilizers. They are washed into the lawn and ably assist the grass in growing lush and green. Unfortunately, they don’t cover the lawn in its entirety. So where my friend in the past has left a tod lying there (on vacation or the like) it’s produced a 6-inch circle of very lush grass, but the grass all around it is merely competent. Therefore the lawn is already dotted with tufts of dark green grass where the chickens have plopped. It would take a long time for their droppings to cover the lawn in its entirety. Add to that the occasional presence of two children playing on the lawn, and you have a situation where the removal of said smelly, sticky (and if they’ve been eating windfallen apples, yellow and runny) piles into the compost heap where they mix with grass and vegetable cuttings to create a super-fertile mulch, seems more appropriate. And that, my friends, is why I pick up their shit. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2011, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562/20 "2011-08-14T10:21:38Z")
I can’t figure out how you would pick up chicken shit is my point, not why you would want too. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chickens/592562.md?page=2)