# ChiefScott:  Smiley Master

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [February 1, 2000, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250 "2000-02-01T23:12:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\
**Post date:** [February 1, 2000, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250/1 "2000-02-01T23:12:00Z")

</div>

All of you suck dead dehydrated donkey dick.

* * *

Smilies, smilies, in a post  
Which one do I hate the most?  
Smirks and frowns and evil grins  
Rolling eyes that really spin  
They stick their tongues out if you please  
Who the hell first thought of these?  
Smilies, smilies, in a post  
Which one do I hate the most? – Neuro-trash grrrl

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![pricciar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)\
**Post date:** [February 1, 2000, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250/2 "2000-02-01T23:24:00Z")

</div>

There is a good formula to determine poster intelligence.

x = post length  
y = sig length  
x/(y+1) = IQ

pat

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [February 1, 2000, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250/3 "2000-02-01T23:27:00Z")

</div>

Pat – do you do _taxes_? 😕

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\
**Post date:** [February 1, 2000, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250/4 "2000-02-01T23:30:00Z")

</div>

😉  
🙂  
☹  
:eek:  
:rolleyes:  
😕  
:o  
😃  
😛  
🆒  
:mad:

If you don’t like 'em, go somewhere else.

* * *

\>\< DARWIN \>  
\_\_ **L\_\_\_L**

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\
**Post date:** [February 1, 2000, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250/5 "2000-02-01T23:30:00Z")

</div>

And Mr. Papoon becomes No. 1 on my list…

* * *

I love OpalCat.

But if you vote me “Smiley Master”, I’ll hunt you down, slit your stomach and dance upon your steaming entrails.

Yer pal,  
ChiefScott

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\
**Post date:** [February 1, 2000, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250/6 "2000-02-01T23:31:00Z")

</div>

Oops.  
😛

* * *

\>\< DARWIN \>  
\_\_ **L\_\_\_L**

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\
**Post date:** [February 1, 2000, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250/7 "2000-02-01T23:33:00Z")

</div>

No. 4 = jab1/Darwin

* * *

I love OpalCat.

But if you vote me “Smiley Master”, I’ll hunt you down, slit your stomach and dance upon your steaming entrails.

Yer pal,  
ChiefScott

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [February 1, 2000, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250/8 "2000-02-01T23:42:00Z")

</div>

I s’pose this means the fact that I’ve voted for the Chief three times now in that category puts me in fear for my life??

😉

::d&r::

-Melin

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\
**Post date:** [February 1, 2000, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250/9 "2000-02-01T23:43:00Z")

</div>

ChiefScott, when tough times get you down, there is one piece of advice that will carry you through. Just remember this little phrase.

Have a nice day.

* * *

Now, you too can become an Evil Ninja Assassin in the Self-Righteous Clique. Ask me how.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\
**Post date:** [February 1, 2000, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250/10 "2000-02-01T23:57:00Z")

</div>

**Jab** , find Polycarp and ask for his three-eyed alien smiley.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250/11 "2000-02-02T00:02:00Z")

</div>

Chief, take it as a compliment. Rather than construing it to mean “One who is a master at using interesting and amusing smilies in their posts”, interpret it as “one who dominates smilies, whipping and abusing them as they deserve, causing they and their users pain and torment as you prove yourself to be their Master.”

Aw, geez, now I’m all hot and bothered.

* * *

JMCJ

This is not a sig.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250/12 "2000-02-02T00:06:00Z")

</div>

Actually, I do know how to use it: If you click on “reply with quote” on the posting where **polycarp** used it, you can see the coding. But I think using it steals bandwith from another website. It has an “Angelfire” address.

* * *

\>\< DARWIN \>  
\_\_ **L\_\_\_L**

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250/13 "2000-02-02T00:15:00Z")

</div>

You think you got problems?

Some asshole nominated me for Mr.Congeniality.

And to add insult to the injury, some monkey felchers even voted for me.

* * *

I don’t have to do drugs to mess up my head. I went to Catholic school.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250/14 "2000-02-02T00:40:00Z")

</div>

Are you guys still able to see the voting pages?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Minxsmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Minxsmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minxsmom)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250/15 "2000-02-02T00:40:00Z")

</div>

Oh, come on, Chief, they aren’t THAT bad. You should feel honored that you were nominated for something. Cheer up and smile for us.

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂  
😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛

* * *

Princess of the Time and Space Continuum since 1969 (upgraded to Goddess 01/07/00)

S.S.D.A., SDMB Self-Righteous Clique =^…^=

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Doobieous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Doobieous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doobieous)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250/16 "2000-02-02T00:47:00Z")

</div>

What’s the matter chief? 🙂 Smilies 8) got you down :(. Well, cheer up :D, put on a smile :), and stop worrying about it ;).

* * *

It’s worth the risk of burning, to have a second chance…

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250/17 "2000-02-02T02:40:00Z")

</div>

As the new and accepted Chief Goon (Naval Contingent), I here by despise, hate, and hope to maroon on a deserted island sans Ginger and Mary Anne the following:

Mr. Papoon, jab 1, andros, Mr. Coraddo, (Wally, Catholic School fucked up your head? It was the constant rulers to the knuckles and Sister Mary Xavier’s “You are _not_ God, you infidel!!” which fucked me up!; and I understand about the “congeniality” monicker, dude}and Minx you flippin’ smiley whore, oughta’ jus’ pay attention to the new sig line, you flippin’ **sqrlcub** felchers!

* * *

I love OpalCat.

But if you vote me “Smiley Master”, I’ll hunt you down, slit your belly and dance upon your steaming entrails.

Yer pal,  
ChiefScott

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250/18 "2000-02-02T02:45:00Z")

</div>

Well, I’m glad you saw my post in the manner it was intended, a way to take the dubious honor and turn it into a way to continue to promote your anti-smilie agenda. I’m certainly glad I didn’t make it onto your shit-list…

Oh, wait.

I _am_ on your shit-list. You just misspelled my name.

Oh, well.

* * *

JMCJ

This is not a sig.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250/19 "2000-02-02T02:46:00Z")

</div>

(Oldsters, you should get this gist)

Doobieous, Valenta8, and Brithael blow big blue baboons with bulbous back-side portals!!

* * *

I love OpalCat.

But if you vote me “Smiley Master”, I’ll hunt you down, slit your belly and dance upon your steaming entrails.

Yer pal,  
ChiefScott

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250/20 "2000-02-02T03:11:00Z")

</div>

Oh, shit. Now I know the Chief is pissed.

When he invokes the name of Brithael, it’s every man for himself and the hell with women and children first.

I’m outta this place!

* * *

I don’t have to do drugs to mess up my head. I went to Catholic school.

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chiefscott-smiley-master/4250.md?page=2)