# Child-like ways to solve real world problems. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 10, 2009, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/child-like-ways-to-solve-real-world-problems/480689 "2009-01-10T17:44:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/child-like-ways-to-solve-real-world-problems/480689/41 "2009-02-06T03:38:47Z")
> [@Sine\_Nomine](#): > > During some errands a couple weeks ago, I overheard some store employees discussing the endless Senate race here in Minnesota. One argued very convincingly that it ought to be settled by a ladder match. Plus, we could put it on Pay-Per-View and make _mucho_ revenue for the state. Look where you live. Franken’s partner could be Jesse Ventura. He’s a goddamn sexual tyrannosaurus. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/child-like-ways-to-solve-real-world-problems/480689/42 "2009-02-06T09:15:26Z")
We’ve secretly replaced all the hand grenades in the Middle East with water balloons. Let’s see if they notice. ---
**Author:** ![George\_Kaplin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@George\_Kaplin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/George_Kaplin)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/child-like-ways-to-solve-real-world-problems/480689/43 "2009-02-06T09:34:40Z")
Problem: Climate change. Root cause: Too much greenhouse gas in the atmosphere, specifically, too much CO2. Solution: Everyone the earth skips five breaths per day. For 30 seconds a day nobody is allowed to breathe in or out. Exercise will be banned, because that causes more vigorous exhalation. People who are crap in bed and blow their load in 2 minutes before building up a sweat will be able to defend their performance by arguing that they are, in their own small way, helping save the planet. There are absolutely no drawbacks whatsoever with this plan. If you think you see any, you are wrong. You’re welcome. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/child-like-ways-to-solve-real-world-problems/480689/44 "2009-02-06T12:38:08Z")
Solve the problems of the ME by converting all Jews and Muslims to Wiccans. The nuclear threat? Deactivate all reactors everywhere,likewise nuclear weapons,destroy all records/data on how to utilise the nuclear process whether for peaceful/warlike purposes. Invent an amnesia ray that can selectively eliminate certain areas of learning and then use it on all the people in the world who have any knowlege of nuclear physics at all(including high school teachers. Global Warming,Pollution,Famine and over population? Brainwash all adults on Earth so that having parented two children the woman gets a severe headache whenever sex is proposed and the man gets erectile disfunction. ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/child-like-ways-to-solve-real-world-problems/480689/45 "2009-02-06T16:36:40Z")
> [@Lust4Life](#): > > Brainwash all adults on Earth so that having parented two children the woman gets a severe headache whenever sex is proposed and the man gets erectile disfunction. yeah that’s definitely gonna make the world a happier place. If we’ve got brainwashing at our disposal, let’s just brainwash everybody to be nice to each other and use public transportation ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/child-like-ways-to-solve-real-world-problems/480689/46 "2009-02-06T20:09:44Z")
> [@Lust4Life](#): > > Brainwash all adults on Earth so that having parented two children the woman gets a severe headache whenever sex is proposed… No brainwashing needed… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/child-like-ways-to-solve-real-world-problems/480689/47 "2009-02-07T09:56:06Z")
> [@carlotta](#): > > yeah that’s definitely gonna make the world a happier place. > > If we’ve got brainwashing at our disposal, let’s just brainwash everybody to be nice to each other and use public transportation Well the O.P. did say child like solutions,if I could in reality invent a selective amnesia ray I would be out making myself a fortune this very instant. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/child-like-ways-to-solve-real-world-problems/480689/48 "2009-02-07T10:59:08Z")
The economic crisis is because the banks are running out of money to lend. Just give them lots of other people’s money. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/child-like-ways-to-solve-real-world-problems/480689/49 "2009-02-07T12:28:14Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > What if we teach the world to sing in perfect harmony? And then we buy them a Coke? > > Surely that ought to solve something. Only until someone asks for a Pepsi. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/child-like-ways-to-solve-real-world-problems/480689/50 "2009-02-07T14:01:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*bink \*\* > I think they should do the old splitting-a-brownie-or-whatever trick: one cuts it in half, the other one gets to pick which half they want. I actually tried this with my daughters once. Disaster! “Noooo! Why do I have to cut it! She’ll take the biggest piece! It’s not fair!!!” ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/child-like-ways-to-solve-real-world-problems/480689/51 "2009-02-07T14:05:44Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > I actually tried this with my daughters once. > > Disaster! But that’s the whole point. You quietly tell her, “make sure there is no biggest piece. Make them the same.” ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/child-like-ways-to-solve-real-world-problems/480689/52 "2009-02-07T14:10:12Z")
“but then i won’t _be_ able to get the bigger piece!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/child-like-ways-to-solve-real-world-problems/480689.md?page=2)