# Childfree Folks: Ever Get Baby Fever? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 29, 2011, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506 "2011-11-29T23:32:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506/21 "2011-11-30T06:26:51Z")
I don’t get any sudden urges to spend time with a little kid (any little kid… “I need my little kid fix now!”), but maybe it is because between family, friends, and being instantly adopted by little kids in the train or on the street, I get a lot of little kid contact - always have. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506/22 "2011-11-30T08:17:36Z")
> [@SnakesCatLady](#): > > No, and I never have. I’ll be 51 on Friday and have wanted to be sterilized since I was 19. This. About 5 years ago (40yo now) I was put on a medication with one of the side effects being horrible, grotesque birth defects if the user should have the misfortune to become pregnant. Dr. boldly suggested I might want to consider having my tubes tied.\* Consider? WHERE DO I SIGN?!? There is something about babies that really really gives me the creeps and annoys me. Now that my nieces and nephews are pre-teen/teenaged I can relate to them a lot better. If for some reason I was ever moved to adopt I would absolutely choose an older child. Which is a win/win situation as I understand they get overlooked because people are so “OMG BABY BABY BABY!” - I don’t know if this is common in other countries but in the US most Drs/hospitals will refuse, or do their damnedest to talk you out of having a tubal ligation if you are younger than a certain age and haven’t already had children. I was lucky enough to have my consultation with a completely cool, understanding OB/Gyn who approved the surgery, only to be confronted by the actual Dr. performing the surgery who judged the shit out of me, tried to talk me out of it 50 times and said “why don’t you have your husband get a vasectomy?” #1) because this is MY problem, not his and B) (I almost said this to shut her trap) “What if we’re swingers and I want to have sex with people not my husband?” ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506/23 "2011-11-30T08:51:10Z")
> [@voguevixen](#): > > - I don’t know if this is common in other countries but in the US most Drs/hospitals will refuse, or do their damnedest to talk you out of having a tubal ligation if you are younger than a certain age and haven’t already had children. I was lucky enough to have my consultation with a completely cool, understanding OB/Gyn who approved the surgery, only to be confronted by the actual Dr. performing the surgery who judged the shit out of me, tried to talk me out of it 50 times and said “why don’t you have your husband get a vasectomy?” #1) because this is MY problem, not his and B) (I almost said this to shut her trap) “What if we’re swingers and I want to have sex with people not my husband?” This mindset is why I still have all my plumbing. When my husband was in the Army, my gyn Dr. told me he would sterilize me if he was seeing me in his private practice, but the military guildlines wouldn’t allow him to do so as a military dependent. The reason? Because I had no children. Uh, that’s kind of the idea, guys. I was over 30 at the time. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506/24 "2011-11-30T10:29:11Z")
Yes, in my late 20s-early 30s. I also tried to find a doctor who would spay me when I was in my early 20s, but none I talked to would. But the universe decided that I wasn’t to have chilren whether I wanted them or not. When I tried I had several miscarriages (two of them landed me in the ER) and then a tubal pregnancy. Of course it would have altered the course of my life in ways I can’t imagine right now had I had children. I like babies, enjoy kids, and wouldn’t have minded being a parent. But I have no regrets being childfree at all - I’m 53 so it’s a moot point anyhow. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506/25 "2011-11-30T10:57:50Z")
> [@SnakesCatLady](#): > > No, and I never have. I’ll be 51 on Friday and have wanted to be sterilized since I was 19. Nope, and I have been sterilized since my early 20s [2 very disasterous pregnancies and being told the third time would probably kill me made the snip possible] I have never actually _wanted_ a kid, though I would have accepted either one that I might have had. I do rather want some kittehs in shared pictures or on cheezburger - I really like the little scottish fold kittens that look like Puss in Boots and some of the nonflatfaced longhair kittens that are seriously fluffy. I am not as squee about puppies as I actually prefer large nondrooly dogs like alsatians/shepherds and rhodesian ridgebacks. I like the personality of many great danes but they are too drooly for me. ---
**Author:** ![Teufelblitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@Teufelblitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teufelblitz)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506/26 "2011-11-30T12:15:19Z")
Never had the desire for kids of my own. My wife gets brief twinges now and then, but nothing that going to a grocery store and a family restaurant in rapid succession doesn’t cure. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506/27 "2011-11-30T12:47:59Z")
Baby fever? no, never. Babies are disgusting. I enjoy talking to my school aged cousins a lot though. So something I think, for the teensy microsecond “eventually… that gross baby will become a real person you can talk to!” but it passes when I remember babies want to touch you all the time _shudder_. I am so the wire mother. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506/28 "2011-11-30T12:48:30Z")
I never say this out loud because I don’t want to be judged as some evil old witch, but I just don’t get the fascination with kids who are under about 12. They’re boring, and frequently downright annoying. I have no desire to babysit and I stand well away from colleagues who bring their babies into the office. I’m an aunt 8 times over and much prefer my young relatives now that they’re in their late teens and early twenties. Good thing I’m a lesbian really, it stops other women questioning my childlessness. I’m 41, and am waiting for this mysterious baby yearning to hit. Haven’t had the remotest twinge yet. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506/29 "2011-11-30T13:03:56Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > I do. I chose not to have a child because I was afraid of the possible genetic inheritance of mental illness and because I don’t trust my mother or what she’d have done if I did (for example, it wouldn’t have been out of the realm of her capabilities that should would have reported us to CPS for anything at all, like a too-late bedtime or something). So, it was the best decision. > > And I followed up my choice with having all the plumbing removed when I was 39. > > Regardless, it hits me harder and harder on an almost daily basis, what I missed. I cry over it regularly, whether reading something child related or watching it on TV / a movie. I think about it all the time. Of course, my husband is going through all sorts of bad health problems and we’re about to lose everything financially, so it just reinforces that the right thing was done, but it still hurts. A lot. ☹ Have you considered foster care at all? I know it’s not a solution for everyone. My own daughter has considered it, but doesn’t think she could handle returning the child. I was only able to have one child. I wanted more and even at 55, would take in foster kids if my husband wouldn’t leave me. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506/30 "2011-11-30T14:06:51Z")
Never. I do get puppy fever, though. I recently spent some time with my best friend and her five- and two-year-olds. They’re pretty decent kids, but the entire time I was secretly thanking God I had no children. She confessed that there were times (like when the younger one is screaming her head off for no reason and refuses to go to sleep) that she wished she didn’t have kids either, and I felt really bad for her. I’m sure she feels the good vastly outweighs the bad, but I could never hack it myself. ---
**Author:** ![diggerwam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/919ad9/32.png) [@diggerwam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/diggerwam)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506/31 "2011-11-30T14:14:27Z")
Wife and I can’t have kids. Low sperm count. Never had the urge to have a baby. Never felt i’d have the patience. But I do have the urge to spread my knowledge to a young’un and it bothers me that I won’t have chance. My wife wouldn’t foster and honestly we are pretty set in our ways. dont think fostering would be good fit. I do get kinda depressed when we go baby shower shopping. I am kinda worried about getting older. My parents both just passed and I saw how helpful it was for them to have their kids around. Reading this makes me consider getting snipped. After all its low count not no.count. all it takes is one to slip thru and be a hero. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506/32 "2011-11-30T14:54:34Z")
Nope. Never wanted kids, ever. It’s a big enough job for me to be responsible for myself - being responsible for another entire human being? Oh hell no. ---
**Author:** ![codgerone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c37758/32.png) [@codgerone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/codgerone)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506/33 "2011-11-30T15:24:46Z")
> [@SnakesCatLady](#): > > No, and I never have. I’ll be 51 on Friday and have wanted to be sterilized since I was 19. Not quite so young but I was pretty sure around the age of 21-22 that I never wanted children. I’m 56 now and haven’t changed my mind. My doctor wouldn’t refer me for a vasectomy because of my age and “I might change my mind”. Well I didn’t and eventually had it done privately. No regrets whatsoever. Happy birthday for Friday btw. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506/34 "2011-11-30T15:51:21Z")
> [@Sister\_Vigilante](#): > > No. That is what my dog is for. Me too. I have no idea what to do with a baby or kid. ---
**Author:** ![Patience\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@Patience\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patience_Jones)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506/35 "2011-11-30T16:04:51Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I have the opposite. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to not have any kids, just a small glimpse of freedom. > > Heeeey… I have an idea so crazy, that it might just work! > > 😛 > [@TokyoPlayer](#): > > Please be home by 6:30 pm tomorrow night. FedEx will deliver TokyoBaby to your door, but will require a signature. > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Nope - I have never had the baby rabies. > [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > Never. I had a dream once in which I had a baby and spent the entire dream trying to give it away until I woke up. These are awesome, and made me giggle and giggle! For some reason, I’m only interested in infants. And only interested in caring for them for a limited amount of time. And then joyfully giving them back to their parents. I, too, wanted to be sterilized when I was young. No go. And oddly enough, when I was considering an ablation a few years ago, the doctor gave me no problems at all, but the nurse was near tears at the thought that I might have it done without ever having had children. Very uncomfortable situation. Anyway. Anyone with a baby under about 6-9 months, send it along to me. I’ll have the babe back to you in thoroughly cuddled condition at the end of the evening. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506/36 "2011-11-30T16:13:39Z")
I’ve always considered the no kids thing a perk of being gay. And no, I never have wanted kids. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506/37 "2011-11-30T16:16:58Z")
Never. But a couple of months ago I spent the day with a friend who has an infant. I have to admit it was kind of awesome. I think about that kid a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506/38 "2011-11-30T16:26:39Z")
Often. Being gay and a different citizenship from my husband, we weren’t able to even consider adoption in our 30s. I hope we’ll be stable enough to consider it before we’re too old. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506/39 "2011-11-30T16:59:24Z")
Never, and I’m fortunate that my wife agrees. I have nothing against kids or people who want them. My nieces and nephew are all pretty awesome and I love them. But I have seen first-hand how completely kids take over your life; once you become a parent, it defines you forever, and Mrs. Wheelz and I have never had any desire to be defined that way. No regrets. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506/40 "2011-11-30T17:18:49Z")
In the last year or so I’ve begun to theorize that there’s a very strong biological component that our moms and magazines never warned us about. I’m not childfree. My son is 14 and I’m over 40. I never planned any more. Perfectly happy being the mother of one. Every month around lady-time I’m overcome with illogical baby-pangs which I can only attribute to my body’s biological imperative. “We’re almost out of eggs. Better get this one fertilized. NOW!” And somehow during those times I notice babies everywhere; in commercials, in public, at church. Even seeing baby clothes (or shoes - Lord help me, the baby shoes get me every time) in a store starts it up. A friend of mine volunteers in a hospital nursery. Her job there is to hold babies. That’s it. Hold babies. Might be worth looking into the availability of a similar opportunity in your area. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childfree-folks-ever-get-baby-fever/604506.md?page=3)