# Childhood Friend's Wife Has Died - Sign Guestbook Online? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 11, 2012, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-friends-wife-has-died-sign-guestbook-online/609219 "2012-01-11T22:44:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-friends-wife-has-died-sign-guestbook-online/609219/1 "2012-01-11T22:44:28Z")
I haven’t seen him since we were both kids (about 13 years old), but I recently learned that an old playmate’s wife has just died. I can view the obituary online, and I can sign the guestbook - do you think I should do that? Is it too weird to sign the guestbook when you’ve never met the deceased, and you haven’t seen the bereaved for decades? ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-friends-wife-has-died-sign-guestbook-online/609219/2 "2012-01-11T22:56:34Z")
In my experience expressions of sympathy are always gratefully received. I’ve always found it touching to learn people outside my everyday sphere are thinking of me too. ---
**Author:** ![iftheresaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ecae2f/32.png) [@iftheresaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iftheresaway)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-friends-wife-has-died-sign-guestbook-online/609219/3 "2012-01-11T23:27:44Z")
Please do. Even without having met his wife, you can show your friend that you’re still thinking about him and sorry for his loss. I can also attest from recent experience that is is oddly comforting to see lots of notes in the online guestbook. ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-friends-wife-has-died-sign-guestbook-online/609219/4 "2012-01-11T23:37:56Z")
Absolutely. I’ve attended funerals for people I never met, just because I knew their relatives or friends, and my presence was always appreciated. I hope you will. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-friends-wife-has-died-sign-guestbook-online/609219/5 "2012-01-11T23:45:13Z")
Go ahead and sign. It’s never wrong to show some sympathy and compassion in these kinds of circumstances. He’ll probably be happy to hear from someone from his past. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-friends-wife-has-died-sign-guestbook-online/609219/6 "2012-01-11T23:58:31Z")
As other’s have said, you should sign. I know the situation isn’t perfectly analogous, but when my mother died several friends of my family’s came to the viewing and the funeral even though we’d been out of touch with them for years. Although they weren’t as close with the family as they may once have been, their presence was certainly appreciated. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-friends-wife-has-died-sign-guestbook-online/609219/7 "2012-01-12T00:22:26Z")
Of course you can. He’ll be touched by your memory, thoughtfulness and reaching out with a familiar hand in his time of great need. Please, don’t even hesitate. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-friends-wife-has-died-sign-guestbook-online/609219/8 "2012-01-12T00:27:34Z")
Do it! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-friends-wife-has-died-sign-guestbook-online/609219/9 "2012-01-12T01:13:25Z")
Thanks for the input - so, it sounds like it wouldn’t be perceived as weird or intrusive. Good to know. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-friends-wife-has-died-sign-guestbook-online/609219/10 "2012-01-12T01:23:30Z")
Another vote for sign the guestbook. My brother’s mother-in-law died last year. He lives in Pennsylvania and I live in Arizona. I couldn’t make the funeral because of distance, but I signed the guestbook. I knew his mom-in-law and liked her, but I hadn’t seen her in 30 years. My gesture was much appreciated by my brother and his wife’s family.