# Childhood is false imprisonment **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 27, 2012, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924 "2012-03-27T03:45:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/61 "2012-03-27T20:16:04Z")
[QUOTE=Cat Whisperer] \ > [@](#): > > Jesus was also mocked to His face by the Pharisees and said if you do my work you will be accused of all the things He was. So, you’re Jesus now? [/QUOTE] You know who else was mocked to his face? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/62 "2012-03-27T20:17:12Z")
[quote=“saoirse, post:61, topic:616924”] [quote=“Cat\_Whisperer, post:60, topic:616924”] > [@](#): > > \ > Jesus was also mocked to His face by the Pharisees and said if you do my work you will be accused of all the things He was. > > You know who else was mocked to his face? People who mess up coding? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/63 "2012-03-27T20:24:10Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > They laughed when **Czarcasm** said he was going to be a comedian. Well, they’re not laughing now! That’s very good. Original? ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/64 "2012-03-27T20:29:51Z")
1. Kanicbird often expresses a very unusual theological outlook, but it’s not all that much more wackadoodle than other religion’s perspectives. Wackadoodle is wackadoodle. It’s kind of the “buy the premise buy the bit” kind of thing. If some sky fairy can raise the dead, part a sea, or make a killer pasta, then pretty much all bets are off. 2. Kanicbird is much more than a one-trick pony. We’ve had religious posters like that. Yes, he frequently injects his fairly peculiar theological outlook into otherwise godless threads, but it’s far from omnipresent. There are other posters (typically with an economic/political bent) that tend to make many more irrelevant (to the thread) posts on their favourite topic. 3. It’s time to let the Dudeling out of the Basement of Woe. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/65 "2012-03-27T20:35:19Z")
When I was a child and very much interested in and supportive of the political activism of the day, I really did want to start a kids liberation movement. My main grievance was that I was not allowed to check out certain books from the library because they were considered too mature for me. I argued that if I would be able to read the books _then_, I ought to be able to read them _now_. I remember that my father was not very sympathetic to the argument, although he did admire the attempt. Eventually I concluded that kids lib was doomed to failure, since as soon as they developed any power, the activists would stop being kids. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/66 "2012-03-27T20:40:04Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > That’s very good. Original? I’ve seen it (in first person) attributed to… Bob Somebody? Dangit, I don’t have the quote book with me right now. When come back, bring cite, I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/67 "2012-03-27T20:58:16Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > They laughed when **Czarcasm** said he was going to be a comedian. Well, they’re not laughing now! Man, if only that wasn’t an insult against someone else, I’d ask to use that as my signature. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/68 "2012-03-27T21:01:23Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Man, if only that wasn’t an insult against someone else, I’d ask to use that as my signature. Go for it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/69 "2012-03-27T21:07:06Z")
> [@Crab\_Rangoon](#): > > People who are free to practice pushing around weaker kids and breaking their glasses, idolizing dead pig-heads and even murdering those that do not agree with your rule. > > I say - let’s give this a shot - it really is an original idea. Damn. Now I’m hungry for lechon asado AND Chinese food. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/70 "2012-03-27T21:07:10Z")
Bob Saget? ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/71 "2012-03-27T21:08:57Z")
> [@SpoilerVirgin](#): > > My main grievance was that I was not allowed to check out certain books from the library because they were considered too mature for me. This reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Milhouse is thrilled because he and some other kids were going to sneak into an R-rated movie: “We’re going to see ‘Barton Fink’!” 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/72 "2012-03-27T21:21:38Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I thought God gave people children so they could change the channel and go to the store for them. That was back in the 70’s, though. I don’t know what God gives people children for now. What She’s always given children for - the aggravation. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/73 "2012-03-27T21:38:46Z")
I agree with the OP. All parents should be immediately imprisoned after the birth of their first child, leaving the child free to… well, starve to death I guess. But they would be FREE! ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/74 "2012-03-27T22:00:36Z")
God gives people children as punishment for breaking the Fifth Commandment. ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/75 "2012-03-27T22:13:09Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I thought God gave people children so they could change the channel and go to the store for them. That was back in the 70’s, though. I don’t know what God gives people children for now. Well that’s certainly what my parents used me for, but I’m always hearing about how miraculous and joyous having kids is meant to be, so I assumed that would be the angle religious people would try to sell. Although having seen some birth videos I’ve got to say it didn’t look particularly joyous to me. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/76 "2012-03-27T22:14:57Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Damn. Now I’m hungry for lechon asado AND Chinese food. You know, I honestly read that as “Damn. Now I’m hungry for lesbian action…” :eek: > [@BigT](#): > > Man, if only that wasn’t an insult against someone else, I’d ask to use that as my signature. Fine by me too - as hinted above, it’s not original (I can manage original or funny, not both). ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/77 "2012-03-27T22:19:12Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > Huh. I know they say that god works in mysterious ways, but that is a lot more mysterious than I was expecting. Just so you know, I’m stealin’ this. I’m sure it 'll come in handy. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/78 "2012-03-27T22:23:16Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Funnily enough, if he really is a young man, he has NO concept of The Man holding him down - 40 years ago when I was a kid, they really did believe kids should be seen and not heard. Now, _that_ was some Grade A oppression, man! Not to mention “spare the rod and spoil the child.” Hmmm. If there’s an addressable complaint in the OP, what would be the cure? Biggirl suggested setting them free. Crab Rangoon suggested an island. I considered locking mine in a closet once, long ago. But the problem isn’t in the adults, it’s in the children. Children come with their brains largely empty. So empty that if you tickle their little foot, they can’t figure out where that sensation is coming from. And though they do absorb a terrific amount of information about the world around them by the formation and testing of hypotheses (see recent web article about child development and artificial intellegence experts teaming up - the google can probably find it), they also seem to come wired with the instruction to identify a family/clan and mimic clan members, especially the ones that other clan members are listening to. Believing what the clan believes, taking on the protective coloration of those beliefs, fools the clan into thinking that the child, though weak and unproductive, is one of them. That’s it! The OP has it backwards! In our society, adults are not brainwashing children.\* Children are actively mimicing adults as part of their own agenda. They are fraudulently absorbing the time and resources of the adults by tricking them into thinking that they are smaller versions of the adults. Then when the adults are no longer needed, they drop their childhood coloration and show themselves to be mouthy adolescent cucoos. I see it all, now. I’ve been defrauded. Except, of course, that adolescents turn into adults - at least most of the time. So it may not be a complete fraud. Still, it makes me wish I had kept receipts. Because if children are defrauding us, the only way to address that is to enact laws requiring them to repay the cost of their keep. And without receipts, I’m not in a position to benefit from any such laws. I did my bit to free my own children’s minds by lying to them outrageously. I wasn’t quite as good at it as the guy who convinced his children that when the TV put up the message PLEASE STAND BY, it meant that someone had to go stand by the TV and put one hand on it and one hand in the air while they tried to re-establish the connection. Yup. Once they’ve twigged to a few whoppers like that, they’re compelled to wonder in what other ways have the adults around them misused their childish trust. - Barring cases where they actually do. ---
**Author:** ![rogerbox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/76d3ee/32.png) [@rogerbox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rogerbox)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/79 "2012-03-27T22:24:39Z")
There really are people with idiotic parents, you know. And the vast majority of adults are not nearly as competent as we imagine as children. Heaven forbid the old folk around here take a dose of medicine like a grownup, though. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/80 "2012-03-27T22:25:06Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > I’ve seen it (in first person) attributed to… Bob Somebody? Dangit, I don’t have the quote book with me right now. > When come back, bring cite, I suppose. Bob Monkhouse. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924.md?page=5)