# Childhood is false imprisonment **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 27, 2012, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924 "2012-03-27T03:45:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![iftheresaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ecae2f/32.png) [@iftheresaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iftheresaway)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/81 "2012-03-27T22:29:26Z")
> [@Punoqllads](#): > > God gives people children as punishment for breaking the Fifth Commandment. I’m not going to admit how long I spent wondering what refusing to testify so as to avoid incriminating oneself had to do with having kids. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/82 "2012-03-27T23:33:13Z")
> [@crowmanyclouds](#): > > Bonk! Bonk! On the head! Bonk! Bonk! Kill the Gr’ups! > > CMC fnord! I love you, and I would like to jump your bones. 😃 Damnit, no one recognizes that line when I say it to them. No one. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/83 "2012-03-28T01:11:11Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I thought God gave people children so they could change the channel and go to the store for them. To buy packs. Three times a day. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/84 "2012-03-28T01:14:01Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > I love you, and I would like to jump your bones. 😃 > > Damnit, no one recognizes that line when I say it to them. No one. Yeah, I’m pretty sure a lot of people here know where that’s from. ---
**Author:** ![SticksAndString](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SticksAndString](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SticksAndString)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/85 "2012-03-28T02:21:39Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > Well that’s certainly what my parents used me for, but I’m always hearing about how miraculous and joyous having kids is meant to be, so I assumed that would be the angle religious people would try to sell. > > Although having seen some birth videos I’ve got to say it didn’t look particularly joyous to me. Clearly you’ve only seen birthing videos of people who are brave enough or crazy enough to do it without drugs. I _loved_ my labor/delivery experience…they hooked me up with the epidural and the Hubs and I watched Star Trek movies while I laid there. I kept poking my leg and going “OMG I CAN"T FEEL MY LEG! This is so _awesome_!”😛 Also…on having kids: “We didn’t ask God for..specific things. We said, “God..please give us a healthy child.” When you leave that much OPEN for GOD, a great number of jokes are going to come about.”–Bill Cosby ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/86 "2012-03-28T03:31:21Z")
> [@rogerbox](#): > > And the vast majority of adults are not nearly as competent as we imagine as children. Or as they imagine themselves ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/87 "2012-03-28T06:20:09Z")
> [@Punoqllads](#): > > Bob Monkhouse. And he may not have originated it - didn’t he call himself “the thief of bad gags”? ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/88 "2012-03-28T06:40:43Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > I love you, and I would like to jump your bones. 😃 > > Damnit, no one recognizes that line when I say it to them. No one. Obviously, the children should be set free so they can watch Star Trek re-runs. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/89 "2012-03-28T09:39:18Z")
> [@iftheresaway](#): > > I’m not going to admit how long I spent wondering what refusing to testify so as to avoid incriminating oneself had to do with having kids. I’m _still_ trying to figure out how they’re a reasonable punishment for murder! ---
**Author:** ![tim\_duncan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@tim\_duncan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim_duncan)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/90 "2012-03-28T14:48:04Z")
While OP does come off as bitter, he has a point that there are some adults out there like this. My 2nd grade teacher comes to mind. The notion that all adults are in cohorts to exploit the fragile little minds of the young is astonishingly stupid, however. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/91 "2012-03-28T16:12:32Z")
> [@Punoqllads](#): > > God gives people children as punishment for breaking the Fifth Commandment. Is that the one about not incriminating yourself? ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924/92 "2012-03-28T16:31:10Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > I’m _still_ trying to figure out how they’re a reasonable punishment for murder! Oh, you big [silly](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_Commandments#Two_texts_with_numbering_schemes). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-is-false-imprisonment/616924.md?page=4)