# Childhood misconceptions about SEX **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 30, 2002, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-misconceptions-about-sex/139697 "2002-11-30T23:57:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-misconceptions-about-sex/139697/61 "2002-12-03T22:22:49Z")
When I was 10, my older brother’s friend explained screwing to me. He said you do it 'til it starts to fizz and foam, and then you’re done. This was after we had found a used condom on the street. My first serious girlfriend told me she had her first period at church camp. Nobody had told her what to expect. She thought she was dying. By the time we were dating, she had most of it figured out, but she still thought a girl could not get pregnant unless she had an orgasm during sex. When I was in high school, I knew a guy who was sure babies were born anally. I told him he was mistaken, and he got really angry about; wanted to fight me over it. He apparently thought if he could thump me, that would make him right. Many folks I knew in high school believed that Coitus Interruptus was an effective birth control method. Some of them were proved wrong. If you’re wondering if all these kids flunked Sex Ed, there wasn’t any. I finished high school in 1967. Girls who got pregnant had to leave school. Our zoology teacher gave a very sketchy outline of human reproduction. Someone brought up the rhythm method of birth control. The teacher said he could discuss that after class, but he could be fired for teaching it. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-misconceptions-about-sex/139697/62 "2002-12-03T22:27:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Witch \* > \*\*I also wondered how the doctors told the girl babies and the boy babies apart when they were born. I figured that was one of the things they taught you in Doctor school. \*\* I thought it was dependent upon whether the baby was wearing pants or a dress when it came out. :o ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-misconceptions-about-sex/139697/63 "2002-12-03T22:29:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astorian \* > \*\*In 1961, when I was born, almost all American boys were circumcised, as a matter of routine, and so was I. But I didn’t know that, and neither did any of the guys I knew when I was growing up. > > I went to a Catholic grammar school and a Catholic high school, and all of us guys were circumcised… but we all thought we weren’t! See, we’d all HEARD of circumcision, but thought of it as something only Jews did. And since we never interacted with Jewish boys (let alone showered with them!), we never got to see that we were all the same. > > We all knew that circumcision involved cutting off the “foreskin,” but didn’t really know what that was. We pretty much all assumed that the glans must be the foreskin, and winced at the idea that Jews cut THAT off! > > I was almost 18 before I finally grasped what circumcision really was. Until then, if you’d asked me, I’d have said I WASN’T circumcised, even though I (like all the guys I knew) was. \*\* I used to think that Jewish boys were circumcised _at their bar mitzvahs_. I thought that was what a bar mitzvah was for!!! ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-misconceptions-about-sex/139697/64 "2002-12-03T22:36:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dwc1970 \* > \*\*At around this time I also thought that the baby came out the mother’s butt when it was born. \*\* Hahahahaha! YES! I thought the same thing, and in fact anytime I had a particularly, erm… difficult time with elimination as a kid, I used to jump up afterwards and check in the toilet for a baby before I flushed. I must stop now. I’ve said too much. ---
**Author:** ![Pablito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@Pablito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pablito)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-misconceptions-about-sex/139697/65 "2002-12-03T22:55:51Z")
Just yesterday, my 7-year-old son asked me, “how do animals have babies?” I asked for clarification, because I’d already explained the sex act and body parts and so on,\* and he said, “I mean, how do they know to get married?” ha. So I realized that I wasn’t quite clear enough when I emphasized the importance of getting married before a person decides to have kids. \*that initial conversation was also a pretty funny one. He and his 9-year-old brother (I have a third child, too, who’s only 3) asked some questions in the car and I explained everything pretty straightforwardly, and then the older one said, “So, you and Mommy had to do that THREE times?” Then they looked at each other with grossed out expressions of disbelief and mild disgust, and the younger one said, “I’m never doing that!” ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-misconceptions-about-sex/139697/66 "2002-12-03T22:58:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auntie em \* > \*\*I must stop now. I’ve said too much. \*\* Yes, you should. Now that the Poopy(ie?) Babies know that their secret is out, they’re probably going to be hunting you down. Run, **Auntie EM** , run! ---
**Author:** ![wedgerat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@wedgerat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgerat)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-misconceptions-about-sex/139697/67 "2002-12-03T23:10:43Z")
When I was little, I asked Mommie Dearest (she thought it was cute) “where do babies come from,” and she tried to tell me about this _sex_ thing. She had to be lieing. You see, I _knew_ babies where delivered on the doorstep. Like pizza. That’s how we got my then-baby brother (he was adopted). What I wanted to know was where the babies came from _before_ they got to the doorstep. ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-misconceptions-about-sex/139697/68 "2002-12-03T23:33:16Z")
I didn’t really equate sex and babies when I was a kid. I knew about orgasm early, having discovered the fun of masturbation around age 5. I didn’t have any idea about girls, in terms of equipment (other than they had breasts and that they were different in the fun parts) but I knew they were somehow complimentary in structure. I also knew sex involved feeling the same kind of happy twitchy tingle I’d been giving myself, but that it involved nakedness, lying down and wriggling. I think I figured all this out by seeing couples in bed on my mom’s soap operas and adding a bit of logic. I was a very precocious kid. However, I didn’t realize babies came from sex, because all these people were having sex all the time (I knew Mom and Dad and my married brothers and their wives and married sisters and their husbands all that sex), and they would have had a lot more babies than they were if sex were the culprit. I thought the man put his penis into the woman (somehow, I still didn’t know sex involved penetration or how penetration was even possible) and urinated into her. I figured it must be pretty difficult to make a baby, because I certainly had a hard time peeing when I was stiff. I figured that made sense because if it were difficult, only people who wanted babies would have them, which struck me (and still does) as the way things should be. Luckily, I got rid of all these illusions before I hit fifth grade and had pretty thoroughly educated myself (with the help of my pediatrician, who honestly enjoyed it when his patients asked direct, intelligent questions) on things like pregnancy, disease and prevention by the time I became sexually active at 13. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-misconceptions-about-sex/139697/69 "2002-12-04T00:36:41Z")
Children are baked in an oven & those that are over baked are black. sigh. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-misconceptions-about-sex/139697/70 "2002-12-04T00:49:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elfkin477 \* > \*\*I thought “making out” was a euphemism for sex. So, I was scandalized (at age 11) when they mentioned that one of my favorite characters on **Just The Ten Of Us** was caught making out with a boy…until they showed her merely kissing him. A lightbulb then formed over my head 😃 \*\* I thought so too - then Cordelia tells Zander to go make out with her in the broom closet on Buffy :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-misconceptions-about-sex/139697/71 "2002-12-04T01:02:34Z")
Also, since I was a very… er, _precocious_ child, I knew about sex perhaps in… grade 3. But I thought that you pulled the penis all the way out, and quickly put it back in. I thought it was weird for a while that you would just pull it out part way out. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-misconceptions-about-sex/139697/72 "2002-12-04T01:31:55Z")
When mum explained belly buttons to me, I remember being puzzled because I thought the baby’s was connected to the mothers. I can’t remember if I followed up on that then or later, but I’ve figured it out by now 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Lao](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dr.Lao](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Lao)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-misconceptions-about-sex/139697/73 "2002-12-04T02:24:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SpasticKitty \* > \*\*I also remember that when my mom gave me “the talk”, she told me that all boys got erections, but it was bad to make fun of them for it. \*\* Listen to your mother on this one. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-misconceptions-about-sex/139697/74 "2002-12-04T02:37:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auntie em \* > \*\*Hahahahaha! YES! I thought the same thing, and in fact anytime I had a particularly, erm… difficult time with elimination as a kid, I used to jump up afterwards and check in the toilet for a baby before I flushed. > > I must stop now. I’ve said too much. \*\* There was an episode of Beavis and Butthead, where Beavis is constipated, and he starts thinking he’s pregnant! He even buys a pregnancy test! One of the best ones ever! ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-misconceptions-about-sex/139697/75 "2002-12-05T12:41:29Z")
I was well-informed about how babies get made, but for some reason, my mom decided to embellish the story a bit. She told me that moms-to-be got a form to fill out, specifying the appearance they wanted the baby to have. Eye color, hair color, and so forth. This was supposedly why I had/have so many birthmarks; she special-ordered them. Sex itself, though…I wasn’t completely in the dark, but when I became sexually active, certain things weren’t quite as I’d imagined them. Me: I thought it was white! I’ve always heard it described as white! Him: Well, it has a whitish tint. Me: Yeah, but jeez, I was expecting something like Glass Wax, that you use to decorate windows at Christmas…Now, why do people always use the plural? I only see one thing. Him: One sack; two nuts. Me: …I still don’t get it. Him: They’re both in there—AAAHH!! Don’t SQUEEZE! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SpasticKitty \* > **I thought for the longest time that guys could get their periods.** Danged if I can find the thread, but someone once posted about a clueless college acquaintance, who was convinced of this by the other guys in the dorm. IIRC, they kept up the charade for weeks, complaining of cramps and asking to borrow products. Also, when Mr. Rilch was in college, he knew a guy who was **seriously** off-kilter. This manifested itself in a lot of ways, but the incident pertinent to this thread was when Mr. Rilch and pals were perusing a nudie magazine. Mr. X squinted at the centerfold and said, bewildered, “What’s that?” The guys listed several slang terms, but the blank look didn’t leave Mr. X’s face. Clearing his throat, Mr. Rilch admitted that “the medical term is ‘vagina’.” “Are all women like that?” Mr. X inquired. At this point in the narrative, I interrupted. “I get it. He spent his whole life in institutions?” “Bingo. 'Course, we didn’t find that out 'till later. When he did something that got him sent back to one.” ---
**Author:** ![Typo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Typo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-misconceptions-about-sex/139697/76 "2002-12-05T14:07:48Z")
Darn it, **Rilchiam,** now I’ve got to go find the Windex for my monitor! :giggling helplessly: “It has a whitish tint…” I somehow thought it would taste like powdered sugar glaze on cinnamon rolls - boy, was I surprised! ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2002, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-misconceptions-about-sex/139697/77 "2002-12-05T15:36:00Z")
While in elementary school, I had the darndest confusion about which hole the man would stick his member into, the front or the rear. As an adult, I’ve cleared that up. Well, sometimes. I still slip up on occasions… 😃 Also, I think I know why so many young 'uns think that babies are pooped out. You see, everybody tells kids that babies are in the mommy’s ‘tummy,’ so naturally kids conclude that babies follow the same path as everything else that starts in the tummy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-misconceptions-about-sex/139697.md?page=3)