# Childhood rhymes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [January 11, 2026, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557 "2026-01-11T08:58:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jojo2hot4u](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/958977/32.png) [@jojo2hot4u](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jojo2hot4u)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2026, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557/1 "2026-01-11T08:58:33Z")
There once was a man from Peru He fell asleep in a canoe He was holding his penis While dreaming of Venus And woke up with a handful of goo There were other versions too…anyone have anything similar ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2026, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557/2 "2026-01-11T18:48:57Z")
On top of old Smokey All covered in blood I found my poor wolfman His face in the mud A knife in his belly An axe in his head I jumped to conclusions My wolfman was dead ---
**Author:** ![themapleleaf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/themapleleaf/32/14349_2.png) [@themapleleaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/themapleleaf)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2026, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557/3 "2026-01-11T22:11:26Z")
I sat with the Duchess at tea She asked: “Do you fart when you pee?” I answered with wit: “Do you belch when you shit?” And I thought it was One-Up for me! ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2026, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557/4 "2026-01-12T02:35:16Z")
Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts Mutilated monkey meat Dirty little birdie feet Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts And me without my spoon ---
**Author:** ![Nyvaak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Nyvaak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nyvaak)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2026, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557/5 "2026-01-12T08:21:30Z")
(To the tune of _I’m Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover_) I’m looking over my dead dog Rover Who lies on the kitchen floor One leg is broken, Another one sprained. I ran him over With my Cocoa Puffs train ! ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2026, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557/6 "2026-01-12T08:25:14Z")
Strangers in the night Exchanging rubbers This one is too tight I’ll try another This one is too loose But it will hold the juice ---
**Author:** ![Bayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bayaker/32/3454_2.png) [@Bayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2026, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557/7 "2026-01-12T13:21:59Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > On top of old Smokey > All covered in blood > I found my poor wolfman > His face in the mud > A knife in his belly > An axe in his head > I jumped to conclusions > My wolfman was dead Never heard a “wolfman” version before. There were lots of variations (almost all involving a teacher), but the version I remember went something like this: On top of Old Smokey All covered with blood I shot my poor teacher with a .44 slug And then the next morning she wasn’t quite dead So I took my bazooka and blew off her head I went to her funeral To spit on her grave Some people threw flowers I threw a grenade ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2026, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557/8 "2026-01-13T05:30:16Z")
Another school one: My eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school We have tortured all the teachers we have broken all the rules And tomorrow after school we’re going to hang the principle The school is burning down. Glory, glory, hallelujah Teacher hit me with a ruler So I nailed her at her door with a smoking .44 And she ain’t my teacher no more The above was just one of many anti-school rhymes from my youth. [Bandit Heeler] It was the 80’s… [/Bandit Heeler] ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2026, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557/9 "2026-01-13T10:47:55Z")
This land is my land This land ain’t your land I’ve got a shotgun And you don’t got one I’ll blow your head off If you don’t get off This land is private property. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2026, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557/10 "2026-01-13T17:27:12Z")
Comet It makes your teeth turn green Comet It smells like gasoline Comet It makes you vomit So buy some Comet And vomit Today! ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2026, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557/11 "2026-01-13T19:55:02Z")
Jingle bells, Batman smells Robin laid an egg Batmobile lost a wheel And Joker got away-- hey! ---
**Author:** ![themapleleaf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/themapleleaf/32/14349_2.png) [@themapleleaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/themapleleaf)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2026, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557/12 "2026-01-14T21:27:17Z")
To be sung on the school bus when some kid actually or allegedly breaks wind: Going down the highway, Highway 44, (kid’s name) blew a big one and knocked us out the door. The wheels couldn’t take it, the engine fell apart, All because of (said kid) and his supersonic fart. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2026, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557/13 "2026-01-14T21:43:41Z")
We three kings of orient are Tried to smoke a rubber cigar It was loaded and exploded Now we’re on yonder star. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2026, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557/14 "2026-01-15T01:14:27Z")
> [@themapleleaf](#): > > Going down the highway, Highway 44, > (kid’s name) blew a big one and knocked us out the door. > The wheels couldn’t take it, the engine fell apart, > All because of (said kid) and his supersonic fart. Heard a similar version: Here we all were, 50 men or more 'Til (name) let off a big one that blew us out the door Killed all 50 men, except for me and Art And all because of (name) and their supersonic fart. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2026, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557/15 "2026-02-23T07:59:27Z")
Fourth grade, circa 1970: Hey Jude I saw you nude Don’t try to fake it I saw you naked… ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2026, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557/16 "2026-02-23T09:27:16Z")
Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or more. Bobby laid a fart, in the grocery store. Eighty men died trying to hold their breath, Bobby cracked another, and killed all the rest! ---
**Author:** ![Bayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bayaker/32/3454_2.png) [@Bayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2026, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557/17 "2026-02-23T13:41:38Z")
Tra-la-la boom dee-ay We have no school today Our teacher passed away We shot her yesterday We threw her in the bay She scared the crabs away And when we pulled her out She smelled like sauerkraut! ---
**Author:** ![themapleleaf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/themapleleaf/32/14349_2.png) [@themapleleaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/themapleleaf)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2026, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557/18 "2026-02-23T21:06:12Z")
I’m a little acorn brown Lying on the dusty ground Everybody steps on me That is why I’m cracked, you see I’m a nut! I’m a nut! I’m a nut! I’m a nut! I’m a nut! I called myself up on the phone Just to see if I am home I asked myself out on a date At the latest half past eight I’m a nut! I’m a nut! I’m a nut! I’m a nut! I’m a nut! I took myself to the picture show Sat right down on the very first row I put my arms around my waist Got so fresh I slapped my face I’m a nut! I’m a nut! I’m a nut! I’m a nut! I’m a nut! ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2026, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557/19 "2026-02-23T21:31:19Z")
Hi Ho Hi Ho It’s off to school we go We’ll learn some junk And then we’ll flunk. Hi Ho Ho Ho. Hi Ho Hi Ho The teacher bit my toe! That dirty rat I bit her back Hi Ho, Hi Ho! ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2026, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557/20 "2026-02-24T01:30:12Z")
How about school-specific ones? I went to a Catholic high school. We were the “Knights.” I remember our _unofficial_ anthem: We’re the alma mater Protectors of the knight The horny sons-of-bitches That’d rather fuck than fight Hady-hidy God almighty Who the hell am I? Bim bam God-damn I’m from Alter High. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childhood-rhymes/1026557.md?page=2)