# Childish bday girl, how to approach this situation? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 25, 2011, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749 "2011-10-25T17:16:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DaveBfd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@DaveBfd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaveBfd)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749/21 "2011-10-25T19:21:24Z")
new info, and one clarification. Stella was approved by Ana to go a while ago, but only decided no AFTER she found out that Stella was good looking. Ana is not necessarily being a bitch to stella, they havent met. Ana sees stella as competition and I expect Ana sees this night as mainly a way for her to get attention from guys at the club, despite being in a relationship. Because she is unhappy with her current relationship I expect she sees this as a night where she can get the attention she needs from random dudes which can not happen any other time. Im confusing myself explaining this over and over. Ill check back after class in like 6 hours. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749/22 "2011-10-25T19:22:29Z")
> [@](#): > > K planned a night out in Montreal for A’s birthday, and is bringing her friends (including S) and people who she knows will make the night fun. It doesn’t seem like much of a celebration of Anastasia’s birthday if Kristen is planning the whole thing around people she knows will make _her_ happy. > [@](#): > > K and S, among others are going to split from the rest once they get there and do their own thing instead of not bringing S who was informed long ago that she could come. So basically Kristen is dragging Anastasia out on the pretense of celebrating her birthday, then dumping her, along with stealing other guests “celebrating” the birthday. Are they going to leave her with the check, too? Yeah, it would be great if Anastasia said “oh, a friend of yours is a friend of mine, bring her along!”. But to force someone to socialize with someone she doesn’t know and like on her birthday is no present. I’m not saying Anastasia couldn’t just shut up and suck it up, but it’s obvious to me that you aren’t planning this as an outing for her, but rather for yourself. StG ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749/23 "2011-10-25T19:23:39Z")
I read through the thread and _tried_ to get interested enough to form an opinion, but I failed. Normally I wouldn’t even bother posting that, but in this case it makes my point. Unless you or your SO actually _is_ A, K, or S\*, my advice is to simply refuse to get sucked into this little drama at all. \*Upon re-reading the OP it seems possible that K is your SO. If so, this would be relevant information to anyone who might wish to provide their two cents. If not, see above. ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749/24 "2011-10-25T19:26:06Z")
> [@DaveBfd](#): > > **Ana is not necessarily being a bitch to stella,** they havent met. Ana sees stella as competition and I expect Ana sees this night as mainly a way for her to get attention from guys at the club, despite being in a relationship. Because she is unhappy with her current relationship I expect she sees this as a night where she can get the attention she needs from random dudes which can not happen any other time. I think the first sentence in the paragraph flies directly in the face of everything else you wrote. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749/25 "2011-10-25T19:29:07Z")
> [@DaveBfd](#): > > new info, and one clarification. > > Stella was approved by Ana to go a while ago, but only decided no AFTER she found out that Stella was good looking. K. should explain exactly that, in exactly those words. Followed by, “So. Still wanna go or would you rather go [insert some other fun thing to do]?” Ana’s a twit. FTR, a lot of people were sexually assaulted, raped, beaten, robbed, humilated, abused, and bullied. Most of us have a story or four. That doesn’t give anyone license to act like a Spoiled Little Snowflake Princess™. If I were K, I wouldn’t want to go anymore because, by virtue of being still invited, Ana is telling K. that Ana thinks she’s superior to K. in some way. As in, “Oh, well my ugly friends are still invited.” Yeah, screw that. ---
**Author:** ![DaveBfd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@DaveBfd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaveBfd)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749/26 "2011-10-25T19:36:28Z")
I am not k’s so just a close friend. I think the above post about superiority is very coRrect and it was one of the first things that we noted.I didn’t clarify my new thoughts based on the informastion learned in my last post but I thnk a is being very silly to remove s based on looks alone after agreeing that she could come earlier. I don’t believe it should matter that a doesn’t know s, as k only invited s in an attempt to make the day more fun for everyone, a included. This is on my phone so it may be a bit off, apologies. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749/27 "2011-10-25T19:44:09Z")
I think you need better friends. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749/28 "2011-10-25T19:47:26Z")
So who’s on the guest list. Just ASK! ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749/29 "2011-10-25T19:55:38Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > So who’s on the guest list. Just ASK! This took me a minute. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749/30 "2011-10-25T19:56:41Z")
Oh, I just figured out that her “best friend” and others are going to ditch the birthday girl _at her own party_? Who needs enemies with friends like K? :rolleyes: The adult thing to do (if you can’t all pretend to get along) would be to just cancel the whole thing and do something else for A’s birthday. I don’t know that you care, but I won’t be checking back with the thread anymore. You keep adding relevant information that wasn’t included in the OP, and just reading about the drama your circle deals in is giving me heartburn. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749/31 "2011-10-25T19:56:41Z")
This thread is useless without pics. Also, tell Anastasia that I said birthday parties are for children. After the age of 16, the only social obligation friends have toward you is to say “Hey, happy birthday.” Everything else is gravy, and Ana should be thankful that anyone is even showing up to her party in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749/32 "2011-10-25T19:56:53Z")
> [@DaveBfd](#): > > I expect Ana sees this night as mainly a way for her to get attention from guys at the club, despite being in a relationship. I think “the guys in the club” need to be warned one by one to keep their dicks as far away from \*that \*crazy as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749/33 "2011-10-25T20:16:08Z")
Must be time for more coffee. I initially read the thread title as “Chilidish baby girl…” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749/34 "2011-10-25T20:18:59Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > Must be time for more coffee. I initially read the thread title as “Chilidish baby girl…” I was just thinking that. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749/35 "2011-10-25T20:20:02Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > I think “the guys in the club” need to be warned one by one to keep their dicks as far away from \*that \*crazy as possible. I know, right. Maybe someone could clap her on the back while wishing her happy birthday to get the “don’t stick your dick in me” sign on her back. Wait until just before you walk into the club. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749/36 "2011-10-25T20:33:58Z")
Considering it’s A’s birthday I’m thinking she should have whoever she wants at her party/night out/whatnot - and NOT have whoever she wants at it. Yes, she’s being childish and insecure, but that’s not the point. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749/37 "2011-10-25T20:55:57Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > A’s only problem with S is that she’s pretty? This smacks of a self-esteem problem that can’t be solved by her birthday. Is she going to go through life avoiding people who are prettier/richer/thinner/whatever than she is? I think the accepted method is to have one’s royal huntsman kill the prettier girl and bring back her heart. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749/38 "2011-10-25T21:05:57Z")
> [@DaveBfd](#): > > I am not k’s so just a close friend. I think the above post about superiority is very coRrect and it was one of the first things that we noted.I didn’t clarify my new thoughts based on the informastion learned in my last post but I thnk a is being very silly to remove s based on looks alone after agreeing that she could come earlier. I don’t believe it should matter that a doesn’t know s, as k only invited s in an attempt to make the day more fun for everyone, a included. > This is on my phone so it may be a bit off, apologies. Of course you’re not Katrina’s SO. You’re Stella’s SO…because if your name is Dave and the guys are doing their own thing, you’re not going to be there, ergo you have no other conceivable reason to be this invested in whether or not Stella comes or not. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749/39 "2011-10-25T21:14:09Z")
> [@PandaBear77](#): > > Yes, she’s being childish and insecure, but that’s not the point. It’s entirely the point. She’s disinviting a person because that person is “too attractive” and is going to take all the attention from the men she wants to lavish affection on her. Just wait until her wedding, she’ll have the bridesmaids wearing burlap sacks and throw a makeup ruining fit if one of the guests smiles too long at her new hubby. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749/40 "2011-10-25T21:31:16Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > It’s entirely the point. She’s disinviting a person because that person is “too attractive” and is going to take all the attention from the men she wants to lavish affection on her. > > Just wait until her wedding, she’ll have the bridesmaids wearing burlap sacks and throw a makeup ruining fit if one of the guests smiles too long at her new hubby. Yeah, she probably will. People can choose to either be in the wedding or not. If it wasn’t her birthday I’d say screw what she thinks. But since this is her thing, dammit she should be able to invite/not invite whoever she wants, for whatever reason - even petty ones. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-bday-girl-how-to-approach-this-situation/600749.md?page=3)