# Childish Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 9, 2009, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416 "2009-09-09T13:01:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![jpei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a3d4f5/32.png) [@jpei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jpei)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416/61 "2009-09-17T06:50:33Z")
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? Because he was out standing in his field. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416/62 "2009-09-17T13:27:23Z")
Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416/63 "2009-09-17T13:40:23Z")
Q:How do you fit five elephants in a pink mini-minor? A: Two in the front, two in the back, one in the trunk. Q: How do you know if an elephant’s been in the fridge? A: Footprints in the buter Q: How do you know if TWO elephants have been in the fridge? A: Two sets of footprints in the butter Q: How do you know if FIVE elephants have been in the fridge? A: Pink mini-minor parked out front. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416/64 "2009-09-17T15:32:20Z")
Did you hear about the poor chicken farmer? All his chickens died. He was either planting them too deep or too close together. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416/65 "2009-09-17T18:15:45Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > What’s black and white and black and white and black and white? > > A nun falling down the stairs. What’s black and white and black and off-white and black and beige and black and brown and black and black? A nun on a spit. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416/66 "2009-09-17T18:58:25Z")
Q: Where does the Lone Ranger take his garbage? A: (to the tune of the _William Tell_ Overture) To the dump, to the dump, to the dump-dump-dump! ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416/67 "2009-09-17T19:42:10Z")
How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the door, put the giraffe in, then close the door. How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the door, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. How do you get five rhinos into a Honda Civic? Put two in the front seat, two in the rear seat, and one in the hatchback. The animals had a meeting. All but one attended. Who was not there? The elephant, he was trapped in the refrigerator, ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416/68 "2009-09-17T19:47:43Z")
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? “Here come the elephants over the hill.” What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? “Here come the grapes.” (She was color blind.) What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing sunglasses? Nothing. He didn’t recognize them. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416/69 "2009-09-17T20:11:25Z")
What’s the pirate’s sister’s name? Maaaarrrrgaret What’s his wife’s name? Aaaaarrrrrlene What’s their daughter’s name? Peggy ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416/70 "2009-09-18T15:52:33Z")
Q: What’s brown and sounds like a bell? A: Dunnnnnnnng! ---
**Author:** ![sherrylynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@sherrylynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sherrylynn)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416/71 "2009-09-18T18:37:25Z")
Why don’t lobsters share their toys? Because they’re shellfish! ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416/72 "2009-09-18T18:43:26Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Look at that bunch of cows! > You mean herd. > Herd of what? > Herd of cows. > Sure I’ve heard of cows! Look at that bunch of cows! Not a bunch. Herd. Herd of what? Herd of cows. Sure I’ve heard of cows! No, a cow herd! Why would I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets from a cow! ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416/73 "2009-09-18T18:53:37Z")
From a comedian I saw on Comedy Central once (attributed to his son): Why don’t dinosaurs talk? Because they’re all dead. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416/74 "2009-09-18T19:10:32Z")
I adore clean jokes – I’m sitting here giggling like an idiot. Here’s my all-time favorite (which I’ve used in these threads before): What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! Ooh, ooh, and here’s another good one: What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros? Elephino. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416/75 "2009-09-18T19:22:19Z")
What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a computer? A hairy reasoner. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Awesome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Captain\_Awesome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Awesome)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416/76 "2009-09-18T19:34:21Z")
Oh, _Harry Reasoner_, now I geddit. What’s the difference between amnesia and apathy? _I don’t know and I don’t care_. Patient: “Doctor, my husband thinks I am mad” _Doctor: “Why!”_ Patient: “Because I like chocolate muffins” _Doctor: “But I like chocolate muffins”_ Patient: “Great, you must come and see my collection. I’ve got hundreds of them” ETA: Has interrupting sloth decided on a punchline yet? ---
**Author:** ![Haunted\_Pasta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/94ad74/32.png) [@Haunted\_Pasta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Haunted_Pasta)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416/77 "2009-09-18T20:01:45Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? > > “Here come the elephants over the hill.” > > What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? > > “Here come the grapes.” (She was color blind.) > > What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing sunglasses? > > Nothing. He didn’t recognize them. Wait, you forgot the lead-in- which is exactly the joke I was going to post! Q: How are an elephant and a grape alike? A: They’re both purple, except for the grape. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416/78 "2009-09-18T21:55:33Z")
Q: How do you kill a blue elephant? A: With a blue elephant gun. Q: How do you kill a pink elephant? A: You squeeze him and squeeze him until he is blue then shoot him with the blue elephant gun. What do you call an armless and legless man in a pool? Bob. ---
**Author:** ![MHaye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bbe5ce/32.png) [@MHaye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MHaye)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416/79 "2009-09-18T22:34:22Z")
Q. What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A. A woolly jumper. The old ones are the best ones… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416/80 "2009-09-19T02:07:06Z")
What do you call a man who falls into a meatgrinder? Chuck. How do you catch a unique animal? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame animal? The tame way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childish-jokes/509416.md?page=3)