# Childless and old? Are you satisified, or regretful? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 20, 2010, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687 "2010-01-20T13:39:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687/21 "2010-01-22T03:55:34Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > I’m 55, never wanted kids, never had kids, never regretted not having kids. I’m 60, ditto, ditto, ditto. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Stilettos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/fbc32d/32.png) [@Red\_Stilettos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Stilettos)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687/22 "2010-01-22T04:01:41Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > My neighbor is about 60 and never had kids. (It’s just as well because her whole life is devoted to cleaning and decorating her perfect house.) But she’s always whining about not having any kids to look after her in her old age! I snapped one day and told her to STFU, you don’t have kids so they’ll stick around to change your adult diapers! No guarantees in life, neighbor - you have insurance, you have money, you provide for yourself. I think this is perhaps a mis-statement of the true feeling which is a fear of being alone in your old age. Personally, that’s the one thing I’m afraid I will regret about not having kids. I’m an only child and I’m single. When I’m 80, my Thanksgiving table will be empty. That’s a scary thought to process. But, you are right; it’s also a very poor reason to have kids. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687/23 "2010-01-22T04:47:09Z")
I’m 63, childfree, and grateful. I am also an only child, and the only thing that worries me is, who will inheirit all these snapshots that my mom and grandmother left me? Well, fortunately I have one cousin with 5 kids so I 'll just pick the kid I like the most (or least?) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687/24 "2010-01-22T05:12:42Z")
> [@Red\_Stilettos](#): > > I think this is perhaps a mis-statement of the true feeling which is a fear of being alone in your old age. Personally, that’s the one thing I’m afraid I will regret about not having kids. I’m an only child and I’m single. When I’m 80, my Thanksgiving table will be empty. That’s a scary thought to process. But, you are right; it’s also a very poor reason to have kids. The childfree social group that I belong to often does some kind of social event for people in our group who don’t have family around them on the holidays. Being in a couple doesn’t guarantee anything, either. You basically have to figure things out as you go, with or without kids. ---
**Author:** ![AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687/25 "2010-01-22T05:13:34Z")
> [@](#): > > So my particular set of genes won’t be passed on. So, what? Our relatives’ genes will. And sometimes that can be a GOOD thing. Say you have the gene for Alizhemier’s, or Tay Sachs or something like that in your direct family. It won’t be passed on to cause pain and suffering. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687/26 "2010-01-22T05:34:04Z")
I’m 46, and I’m glad I never had any kids. I know now that I would be a disastrous father: I’m much too withdrawn and selfish, and I want to concentrate on my art and work. Like my father, I just don’t have it in me to give the amount that a child needs. But I don’t want to do it wrong; I’m breaking the pattern. No fathering is better than bad fathering. That doesn’t mean that I don’t sometimes have twinges of regret, especially when seeing my friends’ kids. ---
**Author:** ![onion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/46a35a/32.png) [@onion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/onion)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687/27 "2010-01-22T05:36:55Z")
55,child free and love it.So do my spoiled pets-they hit the jackpot. ---
**Author:** ![Eeyore\_sgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@Eeyore\_sgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eeyore_sgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687/28 "2010-01-22T07:16:41Z")
I’m 51, my husband is 54. We’ve been married for 30 years and all of them happily childless. We were told many times that we would certainly regret our decision at some point. It’s never happened…we’ve never waivered. We both come from largish families and have 6 nieces and nephews on my side and 20 nieces and nephews as well as a great neice and great nephew on his side. We love being the fun aunt and uncle who got to spoil them silly and then send them home! We came to the conclusion that kids weren’t what we wanted through somewhat different routes. He was the oldest of 7 and I was the oldest of 4. His dad worked many jobs and went to school for his masters degree, so a lot of the responsibility fell on his shoulders. I had the responsibiity for my younger sibs, but the crowing AH HA moment for me was the realizatiom that I didn’t have a clue how to go about raising a child without the negative baggage I’d been left with as a child of an alcoholic father and mother who repeatedly said I wasn’t wanted/ I believe that children are a blessing and they deserve to be wanted and cherished above all else. I would have been a dutiful parent but never would have been a joyful parent. I have instead, mothered all of my co-workers, my court defendants (I was a court administrator) and every animal that wandered through my neighborhood, be it a dog, cat, raccoon or deer. ---
**Author:** ![SnakeBabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@SnakeBabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakeBabe)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687/29 "2010-01-22T07:24:55Z")
Never wanted kids, never had any and I am having the time of my life. I love the freedom ---
**Author:** ![Shecky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@Shecky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shecky)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687/30 "2010-01-22T14:19:42Z")
Well, count me in on child_less_. We really wanted to have children, but it just wasn’t an option, even with IVF. Speaking of which, we had the savings for doing either IVF or adopting, and we chose poorly. Now we’re too poor to adopt any child other than a crack-addicted african-american child with only one arm and a severe tumor. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687/31 "2010-01-22T14:58:25Z")
57, never wanted kids because I know I’d be a terrible parent; I have no patience and would probably screw the kid up anyway. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687/32 "2010-01-22T15:12:44Z")
I’m 48, husband 55. No kids and absolutely no regrets! Husband is a middle school teacher; that right there’ll scare ya off having 'em! 😛 (Oh, and whenever someone asks him if he’s got kids, he says yes, 120 of 'em :eek:) ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687/33 "2010-01-22T15:18:03Z")
> [@romansperson](#): > > Husband is a middle school teacher; that right there’ll scare ya off having 'em! 😛 My mother has always said that if you go into teaching, you need to have your kids in the first few years of your career, because otherwise you’ll be so sick of other people’s kids you won’t want any more when you come home. And it seems to be true–all the teachers I’ve known over the years have either had kids before they hit the fifth year of teaching, or not at all. ---
**Author:** ![RedWood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f08c70/32.png) [@RedWood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedWood)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687/34 "2010-01-22T15:24:44Z")
both terms have unneeded baggage, I’ll go with childfree anyway. I’m 46. about a year and-a-half after I hit menarche, I made a conscious decision that I did not want to make any babies without the fully informed consent and gleeful participation of the other person involved… some 31 years later, with so many kids unwanted and so many people in the world, I have no regrets. I \<3 \<3 \<3 my partner: he has never wanted kids. That’s fine. Many of my friends have kids (and I do like them 🙂 ) so I look after them sometimes. But I don’t feel any less a woman for not having any of my own. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687/35 "2010-01-22T16:07:20Z")
> [@Shecky](#): > > Well, count me in on child_less_. We really wanted to have children, but it just wasn’t an option, even with IVF. Speaking of which, we had the savings for doing either IVF or adopting, and we chose poorly. Now we’re too poor to adopt any child other than a crack-addicted african-american child with only one arm and a severe tumor. People with stories like yours are one of the reasons I differentiate between childless and childfree. Your story is not the same as mine at all (and I have nothing but sympathy for people who wanted children and weren’t able to have them). ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687/36 "2010-01-22T16:15:20Z")
> [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](#): > > And sometimes that can be a GOOD thing. Say you have the gene for Alizhemier’s, or Tay Sachs or something like that in your direct family. It won’t be passed on to cause pain and suffering. While that’s true, it also can be a bit insulting. I have friends who have MS or other things many people wouldn’t want to pass on. They understand the sentiment but there’s an underlying implication that they would be better off never having been born. Y’know? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687/37 "2010-01-22T16:51:47Z")
No regrets. As far as being drugless, well maybe an occasional regret there. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RunSilent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e0b2c6/32.png) [@RunSilent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RunSilent)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687/38 "2010-01-22T17:10:30Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > I’m 60, ditto, ditto, ditto. and, I am 62, ditto, etc.! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687/39 "2010-01-22T18:11:54Z")
> [@Shecky](#): > > Well, count me in on child_less_. We really wanted to have children, but it just wasn’t an option, even with IVF. Speaking of which, we had the savings for doing either IVF or adopting, and we chose poorly. Now we’re too poor to adopt any child other than a crack-addicted african-american child with only one arm and a severe tumor. That really sucks. My sincere condolences - it’s rough not having kids when you really wanted them. I know how much adoption can cost, having recently gone through it, but I had no idea how pricey IVF was; we had other reasons for deciding against that. When we were looking into the options for upping the odds of having a child with our genes, we were in the office of a doc that did IVF, and his walls were covered with photos of triplets, quadruplets, and the occasional twins and quints. Soon as we were out of his office, I looked at my wife and said, “No freakin’ way we’re doing that.” ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687/40 "2010-01-22T19:14:23Z")
> [@onion](#): > > …child free and love it. So do my spoiled pets-they hit the jackpot. You got that right. Cats, in our case. . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childless-and-old-are-you-satisified-or-regretful/525687.md?page=3)