# Children are disgusting, filthy, nasty, dirty, little animals!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [July 30, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475 "2000-07-30T20:47:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475/1 "2000-07-30T20:47:00Z")
Don’t get me wrong, I love the little buggers, but I just have to get this off my chest:
1. Dried chocalate milk glass-ring on the counter.
2. Crumpled up Ritz cracker wrapper, accompanied by Ritz cracker crumbs under the bed.
3. Dried toothpaste spittle on mirror and faucet, accompanied by crumpled, open, oozing toothpaste container.
4. Dirty clothes…EVERYWHERE!
5. Nintendo games and accesories littering the floor.
6. Dirty, greasy pawprints (yes, PAWS dammit!) on what used to be a sparkling clean, white refridgerator doors and handles.
7. Kool-Aid stains on counter and dining table.
8. Broken toy parts and pieces leading from room to every other room in the house.
9. Forgot about the greasy prints on every mirror and window in the house.
10. Oh, there’s so much more, I just can’t think of it right now.
On the upside, it forces me to thoroughly clean everything on a continuing basis.
Thanks, I feel much better now!
---
### Author:  [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2000, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475/2 "2000-07-30T21:05:09Z")
Thank you, **Demo** , My fiancee’ has been talking about children lately. I think I’ll print this and give it to her.
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### Author:  [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2000, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475/3 "2000-07-30T21:08:45Z")
Wow, I thought our house was the only one. I’ll print this out and give it to my mom and say “See! We’re not the only beasts in the world! Other’s have experiences our brand of horror”
Of course, she won’t believe it, but it’s worth a shot.
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### Author:  [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2000, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475/4 "2000-07-30T22:09:49Z")
I bought new lounge furniture and a new rug on Friday. I wish I hadn’t… I wish I had waited until they were 20 and left home…
primaflora
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### Author:  [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2000, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475/5 "2000-07-30T22:50:48Z")
Don’t get me started on the furniture! Although it’s mostly the kids _dog_ who likes to wreck furniture. Although they certainly enjoy _jumping_ on to the arms. Every time, I hear the slightest groan coming from the substructure. :: wince :: One of these times, they’re going to go right through.
Anyway, as for the dog:
1. Dog drool on the arms of the couch. (Yes folks, on the _arms_ of the couch. He’s more of a little rat than a dog.
2. Dog hair all over the cushions.
I swear, if he takes a leak on there, he’s dead meat!
Grrr…
I could go on for pages here, but I don’t want to hijack my own thread too much.
And does anybody listen to me when I say “No dog on the couch!”? Noooooo! I finally had to threaten with, “Next time I see that dog on the couch with you, he’s banned outside for a day. If it happens again, he’s out for a week! If it happens again, he’s out on his ass for good!!!”
Christ folks, I’m 27 years old and I sound like my damned _father_!!
Why God? Why hast thou forsaken me??!!
😉
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### Author:  [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2000, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475/6 "2000-07-30T22:58:07Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Democritus \*
> \*\*Don’t get me wrong, I love the little buggers, but I just have to get this off my chest:
>
> 1. Dried chocalate milk glass-ring on the counter.
> 2. Crumpled up Ritz cracker wrapper, accompanied by Ritz cracker crumbs under the bed.
> 3. Dried toothpaste spittle on mirror and faucet, accompanied by crumpled, open, oozing toothpaste container.
> 4. Dirty clothes…EVERYWHERE!
> 5. Nintendo games and accesories littering the floor.
> 6. Dirty, greasy pawprints (yes, PAWS dammit!) on what used to be a sparkling clean, white refridgerator doors and handles.
> 7. Kool-Aid stains on counter and dining table.
> 8. Broken toy parts and pieces leading from room to every other room in the house.
> 9. Forgot about the greasy prints on every mirror and window in the house.
> 10. Oh, there’s so much more, I just can’t think of it right now.
>
> On the upside, it forces me to thoroughly clean everything on a continuing basis.
>
> Thanks, I feel much better now! \*\*
Oh, shut up. You’ll adore those little snot factories after you take a look at my dorm room.
---
### Author:  [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2000, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475/7 "2000-07-31T00:29:09Z")
Welcome to the real world. It won’t get any better.
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### Author:  [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2000, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475/8 "2000-07-31T00:31:27Z")
> [@](#):
>
> On the upside, it forces me to thoroughly clean everything on a continuing basis.
If Psy ever gets tired of ya, can I have ya?
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### Author:  [@Archer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archer)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2000, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475/9 "2000-07-31T00:57:55Z")
Surprise! It doesn’t ever improve!
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### Author:  [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2000, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475/10 "2000-07-31T01:12:16Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Diane \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > On the upside, it forces me to thoroughly clean everything on a continuing basis.
>
> If Psy ever gets tired of ya, can I have ya?
>
> \*\*
Diane, she’s not _allowed_ to get tired of me!
😃
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### Author:  [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2000, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475/11 "2000-07-31T02:43:35Z")
Wow, I’m feeling better now! This morning, my kid got a hold of a **full** can of spray cheese, went over to the computer and, yeah, you know the rest…
Fourteen more years I can legally take him down to the Marines or Foreign Legion recruiter, whichever will take him. 😃
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### Author:  [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2000, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475/12 "2000-07-31T03:00:46Z")
Um, hate to point this out, but I’ve dated adults who did every single thing you mentioned! At least kids are a lot of fun and worth such hassles. The adults that did this were basically slobs who never grew up and expected me to be their “mommy” and do it for them.
Now, I’m willing to contend with such disorder if it’s a child but I am adamantly opposed to a “supposed” adult acting in this manner!
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### Author:  [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2000, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475/13 "2000-07-31T03:56:16Z")
And people wonder why I don’t want to reproduce. My cat is psychotic enough. And that’s after three weeks.
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### Author:  [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2000, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475/14 "2000-07-31T04:41:41Z")
5 kids, one dog. I’d say your list is considerably small, considering.
Don’t worry folks, I nearly have that stick dislodged from Demo’s backside.
🙂 \<-(Sorry Alpha)
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### Author:  [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2000, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475/15 "2000-07-31T05:04:42Z")
They’re also too goddamn loud. AND whenever I have a person with children in my shuttle, the parent always installs the carseat right behind my seat, and the rugrats always kick the back of my seat through the whole trip. And did I mention that they’re loud?
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### Author:  [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2000, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475/16 "2000-07-31T06:12:54Z")
As a parent of four with two dogs and three cats you can understand why I steam clean every six weeks.
You just gotta love em don’t ya?
For all the mess they make there’s nothing like being greeted by my daughter when I get home from work. She runs at me full speed with her little arms outstretched and leaps into my arms. “MY Daddy!” is what she tells her friends.
Whatever crap I went through at work that day just dissolves into the ether when she does this.
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### Author:  [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2000, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475/17 "2000-07-31T06:19:51Z")
See, this is why I don’t have a dog, they are so messy…
As for kids, I have two toddlers. It’s easy to spot parents now, just wait till one toddler/kid starts screaming, then look around and see who looks over in disgust and who just ignores it and carries on.
If you ignore it, you have kids. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fairy_Princess_Kitty)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2000, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475/18 "2000-07-31T06:34:12Z")
All of you parents that have posted don’t have things half bad, at least not from what I’ve seen. My parents just have psychotic problem children, and smart to boot.
When my sister was young, not even school age yet, she had to have a shot and it took two nurses and a straight jacket to keep her down long enough for the doctor to give her the shot, after which she screamed for the longest time.
My brother got part of a toy train stuck in his hair, you think bubblegum is bad? Try a battery operated toy.
My oldest brother got kicked out of highschool and then readmitted, he wanted to skip a year of college even with a 1500 SAT score.
The dog is quite a pain too, he’s about 5 feet tall when he stands on his hind legs, he’s a shepherd/chow mix, fiercely protective. He once got out and scared the mailman into a corner of the driveway though he didn’t bite him, he just growled and snapped until we dragged him back into the backyard.
Oky enough horror stories for one night, but if you’d like I have more
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### Author:  [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2000, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475/19 "2000-07-31T06:54:46Z")
Kids: As they are now, they shall forever be. Soon you will look back on these days with tears in your eyes longing for the little ones back. But by then it will be too late.
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### Author:  [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2000, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-are-disgusting-filthy-nasty-dirty-little-animals/27475/20 "2000-07-31T07:10:06Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Fairy Princess Kitty \*
> **All of you parents that have posted don’t have things half bad, at least not from what I’ve seen.**
I am glad you qualified that statement because you don’t know diddly squat about me and my kids… Actually as we head into arsenic hour here at casa primaflora the last fucking thing I need to read is a comment that I don’t have it half bad.
primaflora
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