# Children! Stop squabbling! The adults are talking. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 17, 2004, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232 "2004-08-17T13:09:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232/21 "2004-08-17T19:10:03Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Is it necessary, in your opinion, that I leave such matters alone, without addressing and rebutting them? Would you? Ought I to leave for newcomers (and some old timers as well) the mistaken impression that my silence constitutes tacit agreement with his screeds? Would you do the same? If I followed you from thread to thread, as he does me, and routinely interrupted everything ongoing just to make accusations about your motives, impugn your character, ridicule your username, and make false statements about your posting history — what would be your response? Perhaps you can give me insight on how to handle the matter. Just put him on your Ignore list already. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232/22 "2004-08-17T19:10:38Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > A good idea, John, at least on the surface. Unfortunately, it occurs with such frequency and regularity that I would run the risk of criticism over opening so many threads pitting Desmostylus. Actualy, i was under the impression that **JM** meant that you could start **one** thread, and use it as an all-purpose “Liberal vs. Desmo” battle forum, so that no matter which thread your argument started in, you could take it to a single place. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232/23 "2004-08-17T19:11:36Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > **Lib** , I agree it’s hard to stay silent when being attacked, especially when one feels it’s an unfounded perversion of one’s opinions and beliefs. Turning the other cheek has two to four lives, and then what? > > On the other hand, I’d say it’s astoundingly obvious by now that **Desmo** is acting from personal animus rather than reasoned disagreement. To respond in kind to the sort of foam-flecked invective he’s addressing to you merely debases your own credibility. > > It seems to me that the most effective response is to ignore anything he says and to continue debating the thread’s topic with other, civil participating Dopers, in the calm way you’re capable of when someone hasn’t pushed one of your buttons. (I’ve offered similar advice to **Starving Artist** , and he’s found it useful.) I’m sure that the animadversions will continue for a while, but your complete lack of rejoinder will take the fun out of it. I very much doubt that any newbie or clueless old-timer would fail to take away the message you wish to convey in such circumstances. > > To put it bluntly: Any time you’re tempted to return fire, ask yourself: “Is this rip really necessary?” Thanks very much for acknowledging the validity of my concern, ETF. I will give your advice serious consideration. In the meantime, please accept my apology for participating in the creation of an enviornment so foul that you felt it necessary to open this thread. Your point has made its mark with me. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232/24 "2004-08-17T19:16:36Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > Actualy, i was under the impression that **JM** meant that you could start **one** thread, and use it as an all-purpose “Liberal vs. Desmo” battle forum, so that no matter which thread your argument started in, you could take it to a single place. :smack: Ah, of course! I’m considering a modification of ETF’s advice. I want to respond to unjust slurs, but I want to do so civilly in order to distinguish myself from their source. It’s something that might take some time to think through. Perhaps a thread, as John suggests, but with a civil tone, in keeping with ETF’s reminder of returning love for hate… ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232/25 "2004-08-17T19:18:29Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > … it occurs with such frequency and regularity that I would run the risk of criticism over opening so many threads pitting Desmostylus. I sympathise with your plight, **Liberal** , I do. Perhaps the solution would be to open a single “Liberal vs Demostylus” thread the next time Desmo does this sort of thing and simply direct his attention there. Then, assuming his behavior doesn’t change and he continues to post inopportune hijackings at your detriment, simply RE-direct him to the same link, over and over … Desmo will either change his ways or come off looking more and more like a jerk over time. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232/26 "2004-08-17T19:19:57Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > Actualy, i was under the impression that **JM** meant that you could start **one** thread, and use it as an all-purpose “Liberal vs. Desmo” battle forum, so that no matter which thread your argument started in, you could take it to a single place. Yes, that is correct. If **Lib** didn’t do that, the mods would probably require him to do a **Reeder** , per the anti-Bush threads… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232/27 "2004-08-17T19:20:43Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Just put him on your Ignore list already. Due to rules constraints, I cannot comment on whether I will consider that advice, but thank you for it all the same. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232/28 "2004-08-17T19:32:05Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > I sympathise with your plight, **Liberal** , I do. Perhaps the solution would be to open a single “Liberal vs Demostylus” thread the next time Desmo does this sort of thing and simply direct his attention there. Then, assuming his behavior doesn’t change and he continues to post inopportune hijackings at your detriment, simply RE-direct him to the same link, over and over … Desmo will either change his ways or come off looking more and more like a jerk over time. Good point. What I’m trying to think through is the contingency whereby he learns to space his hijacks sufficiently apart as to cause me a conundrum with respect to the rule about resurrecting old threads. But then again, if he did that, the old thread would be long gone, and a new one would not be out of order. I suppose I could bookmark all of them and keep them linked together for reference purposes. On the other hand, the knowledge that he is causing me so much work might actually prompt him to _increase_ his frequency. The simplest solution for all concerned, including him, would be simply for him to stop the ambushes. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232/29 "2004-08-17T19:38:10Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Thanks very much for acknowledging the validity of my concern, ETF. I will give your advice serious consideration. In the meantime, please accept my apology for participating in the creation of an enviornment so foul that you felt it necessary to open this thread. Your point has made its mark with me. This is why I like you even when you’re driving me batshit insane. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232/30 "2004-08-17T20:56:21Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Good point. What I’m trying to think through is the contingency whereby he learns to space his hijacks sufficiently apart as to cause me a conundrum with respect to the rule about resurrecting old threads. But then again, if he did that, the old thread would be long gone, and a new one would not be out of order. I suppose I could bookmark all of them and keep them linked together for reference purposes. On the other hand, the knowledge that he is causing me so much work might actually prompt him to _increase_ his frequency. The simplest solution for all concerned, including him, would be simply for him to stop the ambushes. Not to hijack this thread into a discussion of the rules regarding the resurection of old threads, but exceptions have been made. Case in point is **Cervaise’s** telemarketer thread, which is probably about 4 years old now, but still gets bumped every once and a while so someone can tell him that he rules all. I’d suggest emailing one of the Pit mods and ask them if an exception in this case. Since it would still be relevant every time you bumped it (“Here’s another example of **Desmo’s** obsession with me”) I’d think it would be all right. Just for the record, IANAMod. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232/31 "2004-08-17T20:58:10Z")
Not a bad idea, Lord Ashtar. Thanks for bringing it up. ---
**Author:** ![stretch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@stretch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stretch)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232/32 "2004-08-17T22:05:00Z")
**ETF** , thank you so much for starting this thread! As a (mostly) lurker, there is no way I felt comfortable calling these two out but they were driving me to distraction. **Lib** , I’ve read your posts in this thread and understand what you are saying about wanting to refute what you feel are false statements from **Desmo**. But you are getting nowhere by responding to him in kind, and if you respond to him factually he will ignore that and pick something else in your response to tear apart. I don’t see the need for you to refute **Desmo** at all. If he attacks you, simply refer him to _this_ thread. It’s been shown in this thread that other people find this ongoing bickering to be annoying; a referral to this thread will show participants in the new thread why are you not responding to an attack. Don’t you think the other Dopers will call \*\*Desmo \*\* out on any truly erroneous or inaccurate statements he makes? You know, you aren’t the only one who can refute a post directed at you. Or, if you really want to dispute a factual point he makes, indicate in your post that you are only addressing that point. If he attacks you, let the rest of us decide if we think he had a point or he’s being an ass. You can ignore him the old-fashioned way–just pay him no mind and eventually he’ll get tired of following you around. **Lib** , we know you have it in you to be the bigger person here. As for you, **Desmo** , I know it sounds like I’m picking on you here. You know why? Because I am! More and more, it seems _to me_ like you are stalking \*\*Lib \*\* and just commenting on everything he posts to be a pain. This probably isn’t the case, but that’s the perception I’m getting and I don’t believe I’m alone. It detracts from your other posts _for me_, because it seems like that is the only context I see you in anymore. Please, give it a rest. If \*\*Lib \*\* is going to have a meltdown, as you seem to be sure is just around the corner, then let it take its own course. You do not need to be driving him crazy, he can get there all on his own. Just my opinion. total hijack: **Lib** , please email me–I’d like to recommend you some music. /end hijack ---
**Author:** ![wireless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f14d63/32.png) [@wireless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wireless)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232/33 "2004-08-17T22:11:24Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Thanks very much for acknowledging the validity of my concern, ETF. I will give your advice serious consideration. In the meantime, please accept my apology for participating in the creation of an enviornment so foul that you felt it necessary to open this thread. Your point has made its mark with me. Classy. (Since I called you whiny, I felt it’s only right I should acknowledge this as well.) ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232/34 "2004-08-17T23:00:17Z")
**Lib** , just for the record, could you tell us whether you wear bow ties? By the way, I give you the slight edge in these venom-fests with **Desmostylus** , if only because of your linguistic sleight-of-hand. It’s not everyone who’ll put down an opponent in the Pit by calling him “a feckless hack”. You a funky dude. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Gest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9d8465/32.png) [@Gest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gest)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232/35 "2004-08-18T05:50:32Z")
For a long time now I’ve thought the stalking was kind of creepy and very obvious yet I’ve never noticed anyone but Liberal comment on it. I can’t think of a similar case here either. There are people who constantly zero in on a particular _topic_ but are there any other posters with a notorious obsession regarding a particular _poster_? ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232/36 "2004-08-18T07:40:45Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > I’d suggest emailing one of the Pit mods and ask them if an exception in this case. Since it would still be relevant every time you bumped it (“Here’s another example of **Desmo’s** obsession with me”) I’d think it would be all right. This was my first thought as well. Though I was thinking along the lines of a thread titled: **Desmo, quit hijacking other’s thread to attack me. (Updated as needed)** Seems maybe this would be a way to compile the attacks without having to bump it. Though, IANAMod, and all that. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232/37 "2004-08-18T10:13:48Z")
Okay, I’ve e-mailed a mod asking for permission to open a separate thread and revive it as necessary regardless of its age. Hopefully, with a positive response from the mod and a bit of maintenance work on my part, your threads will proceed with greater continuity. Thanks to all for your thoughtful suggestions. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232/38 "2004-08-18T12:14:00Z")
Wouldn’t ignoring be simpler? Not for serious accusations, just for the kitten poo flinging stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232/39 "2004-08-18T12:18:49Z")
Oh, definitely. I will use the thread only when I believe that my views or my posting history has been misrepresented. In fact, I won’t even open it until the next salvo. Hope springs eternal and all that. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232/40 "2004-08-18T12:28:58Z")
You are capable of driving a saint nuts sometimes but you have the patience of a saint at other times. You are always interesting to read though. Deep cleansing breaths 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/children-stop-squabbling-the-adults-are-talking/260232.md?page=3)