# Children's books that irritated you, even as a child **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 17, 2005, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-books-that-irritated-you-even-as-a-child/331483 "2005-11-17T14:34:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![wampeter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@wampeter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wampeter)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2005, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-books-that-irritated-you-even-as-a-child/331483/101 "2005-11-22T13:04:57Z")
I hated - HATED - \* The Runaway Bunny \*. I was totally freaked out by the stalker mother. Fine, the little bunny shouldn’t run away from his mother, but if I had a psychopathic bitch of a mother like that who would follow me and turn into all of those creepy things, I’d run away, too! And my grandmother read me the story of _Bluebeard_ when I was five! I had nightmares for more than a year straight… I do like _The Giving Tree_, though. And, yes, I did get the message when I was young. It made me sad, but it’s supposed to make you sad. I bought the book for my younger brother last year and read it to him. I ended up bawling and looked over at my father who was listening to me reading, and he had tears in his eyes, too. I love both of my parents so much, and this book always just reenforced the fact that I shouldn’t be a horrible person to them, because they’re wonderful people. But I did hate _Curious George_. Oh, and _Clifford, the Big Red Dog_. I don’t know why, but I just hated that damn dog and that annoying girl, Emily Elizabeth, I think? ---
**Author:** ![Martha\_Medea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@Martha\_Medea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martha_Medea)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2005, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-books-that-irritated-you-even-as-a-child/331483/102 "2005-11-22T15:07:56Z")
Eek! Some sacred cows are being given a right old beating here! > [@eleanorigby](#): > > I also nominate Little Women --I read it to my older kids. I kept putting the book down and telling them “girls CAN do more than this; girls don’t have to only get married and have babies” etc. > > I got so enraged by the Victorian schmaltz and sexism that we barely finished it. > > Blech. Oh come on, **Little Women** is of its time, and should be read in that context. Jo March endures as a good role model for girls, AFAIAC. > [@Hilarity N. Suze](#): > > The Pippi Longstocking books. I think there were a few–I really disliked them. I think the idea of giving them to me was that it’s possible to achieve success among your peers even if you have freckles, red hair and big feet (I did not have big feet) but what I seem to have gotten from them is that happiness is assured when you have an unlimited supply of gold coins and a fascinating but absent parent who doesn’t care what you do. **Pippi Longstocking** works as a fantasy role model, although I take the poster’s point. > [@carlotta](#): > > Harriet the Spy > > This was one of the books I always meant to get to as a kid, it’s always front and center in libraries. It’s considered a classic of children’s literature. Several of my writer friends mentioned it as an important influence. > > So I finally read it. > > AHHHH! Harriet has to be one of the most unlikeable characters in all of children’s literature. She goes around writing mean things about everybody in her notebook. She never observes anything nice about anybody. She is cold, critical, unkind, vengeful, spoiled, self-centered and mean mean mean. When her friends finally find out how mean she is (they find the notebook) they are mean back and among her revenge plans (PLANS not fantasies) is to bite her best friend’s finger off. > > I hope the sequel was something like “Harriet the Psychotherapy Patient” The sequel was called **The Long Secret** , and was excellent. **Harriet** works as a character precisely because she is a real, flawed obnoxious child. She’s not meant to be likeable, and is therefore pretty believable. A refreshing antidote to all the cutesy protagonists in books and films. I agree about the ‘real’ **Mary Poppins**. As for myself, some of the excesses of **Enid Blyton** already mentioned by one or two posters did irritate me at the time of reading, but it didn’t stop me from reading her books, much to my retrospective embarrassment. ---
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2005, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-books-that-irritated-you-even-as-a-child/331483/103 "2005-11-22T16:24:28Z")
> [@wampeter](#): > > But I did hate _Curious George_. Oh, and _Clifford, the Big Red Dog_. I don’t know why, but I just hated that damn dog and that annoying girl, Emily Elizabeth, I think? I’m with you on this one, though this is adult revisionism, since I never experienced these books as a kid. There’s something horrid about the black holes for eyes that characters in the Clifford books have. There should be a subthread here, about books you hate to read to your children. Clifford is on that list, as is CG, as are the Spot books, as are… well, we do have a nice time reading the phone book. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2005, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-books-that-irritated-you-even-as-a-child/331483/104 "2005-11-22T16:58:46Z")
I’d heard a little about, but never read, “The Giving Tree” until I was already grown up. When I finally read it, I was appalled - I suppose you could argue that it was all about selfless love, but it seemed to me that it was really all about selfishly and abusively using someone else who’s too gutless to say “Enough!” The little boy/old man didn’t seem to learn anything or be a better person at the end, either. May I also add, Shel Silverstein’s photo on the back cover is a little scary. My vote, though, goes to “Pat the Bunny.” Just annoying, cloying and tedious, IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-books-that-irritated-you-even-as-a-child/331483/105 "2005-11-22T17:32:31Z")
Neat thread. I’ve never read _The Giving Tree_, but from the descriptions it sounds horrific. I’ll probably have to check it out of the library just so I can be properly outraged. When I was young, Eeyore totally freaked me out because he was so morose. My pet theory is that it has something to do with my own depressive tendencies. Actually, I recently had a revelation about \*Winnie the Pooh \* - all the characters represent the various latent neuroses of Christopher Robin. Eeyore is depressed, Tigger is manic, Pooh is a compulsive eater, Rabbit is obsessive compulsive, and I don’t think I need to detail the issues involved with Roo always hanging out in Kanga’s pouch. These days I’m disturbed by _Goodnight Moon_. Who is the quiet old lady? If she’s a grandma or nanny or whatever, why use such a generic term - sounds like some stranger walked into the house and started shhshing people. And “Goodnight _nobody_, goodnight mush.” What is up with that? I kind of liked _Guess How Much I Love You_, until my husband (whose father was insecure and always tried to outdo his son) said, “Yay, a children’s book about a dad who always has to win!” ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2005, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-books-that-irritated-you-even-as-a-child/331483/106 "2005-11-22T20:00:03Z")
> [@Martha](#): > > Oh come on, **Little Women** is of its time, and should be read in that context. Jo March endures as a good role model for girls, AFAIAC. Reread it. Seriously. How Marmee relates how she has to leave the room rather than say something “unfortunate” and how Jo loses the chance to go to Europe because she hasn’t learned Marmee’s lesson. How Amy sucks up to anybody and anything and is not punished for burning Jo’s scribbles etc. Sorry, but a true classic will hold up no matter the “context”–I don’t see Elizabeth Bennett becoming out of date, for example. Or Jane Eyre, come to that. Classics speak to the human condition–not the mores and fashions of a particular time. > [@](#): > > **Harriet** works as a character precisely because she is a real, flawed obnoxious child. She’s not meant to be likeable, and is therefore pretty believable. A refreshing antidote to all the cutesy protagonists in books and films. I agree with you re Harriet. She is one troubled kid, but like the girl in _The Mixed Up Files of Mrs Basil E Frankweiler_ --she is genuine. > [@](#): > > I agree about the ‘real’ **Mary Poppins**. –see, I liked MP because she really doesn’t like kids all that much. The later books with her got odd, to say the least, but she was a good complex character for kids. Hey, I used to read the Bobbset Twins, so there ya go! \ ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2005, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-books-that-irritated-you-even-as-a-child/331483/107 "2005-11-22T20:11:37Z")
I guess I was just a weird kid, none of it bothered me too much. I just read the real syrupy, whacked-out books like the Uncle Wiggily stories or The Five Little Peppers, and thought, “People sure were…peculiar…in those days.” Kind of the same way I feel when I listen to some of the more bizarre 70s tunes. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2005, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-books-that-irritated-you-even-as-a-child/331483/108 "2005-11-22T21:04:38Z")
> [@NDP](#): > > As for the violence and scariness, you have to consider that these tales had their roots in the Middle Ages which was a violent and scary time in Europe. That period of history seems far removed from us now so we’re more easily shocked by the brutality depicted in these stories. Still, the more gruesome retributions meted out to wicked stepsisters and the like usually do get left out of the children’s versions. For instance, IIRC in the original Cinderella the stepsisters have their eyes pecked out by little birds sitting on Cinderella’s shoulders, as she walks to and from the church in her wedding. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2005, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-books-that-irritated-you-even-as-a-child/331483/109 "2005-11-22T21:08:23Z")
> [@Spectre of Pithecanthropus](#): > > Still, the more gruesome retributions meted out to wicked stepsisters and the like usually do get left out of the children’s versions. For instance, IIRC in the original Cinderella the stepsisters have their eyes pecked out by little birds sitting on Cinderella’s shoulders, as she walks to and from the church in her wedding. And I think to try fit the glass slipper, didn’t at least one stepsister hack off part of her (too-big) foot, but the blood leaked out and gave the deception away? ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2005, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-books-that-irritated-you-even-as-a-child/331483/110 "2005-11-22T21:43:20Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > I also nominate _Little Women_ --I read it to my older kids. I kept putting the book down and telling them “girls CAN do more than this; girls don’t have to only get married and have babies” etc. > > I got so enraged by the Victorian schmaltz and sexism that we barely finished it. > > Blech. Have you read some of the more typical Victorian novels for girls? Try Charlotte Yonge’s _Heir of Redclyffe_, that was pretty great stuff for the time. _Little Women_ was written as an antidote to them. I know it comes off now as horribly confining to girls, but that’s because we’re so unaware of what things were like back then. Jo is a real tomboy, the antithesis of a good Victorian girl–to them she looked horrifyingly wild. _Little Women_ was pretty revolutionary for its day, and the sole comfort of many an active, ambitious girl. Of course, Victorian books for boys are also a lot of fun! There was one famous and popular author, whose name escapes me for the moment. His books consisted entirely of series of young men heading off to various dangerous climes and then slaughtering every animal in sight in creative and bloodthirsty ways. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2005, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-books-that-irritated-you-even-as-a-child/331483/111 "2005-11-22T22:12:47Z")
Just remember, no matter how bad these books are, it could always be worse! See: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=308215](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=308215)😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2005, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-books-that-irritated-you-even-as-a-child/331483/112 "2005-11-22T23:43:01Z")
> [@dangermom](#): > > Of course, Victorian books for boys are also a lot of fun! There was one famous and popular author, whose name escapes me for the moment. His books consisted entirely of series of young men heading off to various dangerous climes and then slaughtering every animal in sight in creative and bloodthirsty ways. R. M. Ballantyne: his _The Gorilla Hunters_ is the story of a group of plucky Victorian schoolboys who go to Africa to kill gorillas and any other fauna unlucky enough to cross their path. They also malign a lot of “niggers” {their term, not mine}. [Here’s a taste.](http://www.athelstane.co.uk/ballanty/gorilla/goril03.htm) Chapter Two, which you can access from the link, contains enough nigger-maligning to make your hair stand on end. Note to mods: the link is to a whole chapter, but it’s public domain. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-books-that-irritated-you-even-as-a-child/331483/113 "2005-11-23T00:06:47Z")
**eleanorigby** , keep in mind that Alcott was writing largely about her own family, and got really annoyed when her readers would write to her BEGGING to have Jo end up with Laurie. Besides, the the most recent movie version (with Christian Bale as Laurie-drool!), is wonderful, and I loved Susan Sarandon as Marmee. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-books-that-irritated-you-even-as-a-child/331483/114 "2005-12-03T07:46:59Z")
> [@NDP](#): > > One thing you should know about Hans Christian Anderson is that, in real life, he was very much a “melancholy Dane”. He suffered from periods of deep depression throughout his life and that certainly is reflected in the somber tone of much of his stories. He was a guest of Charles Dickens and family once. Afterwards, Dickens hung up a plaque in the guest room: “Hans Andersen slept here for three weeks — which seemed to this family **forever**.” If Charles Dickens thinks you’re a drag, then you must be clinically depressed. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-books-that-irritated-you-even-as-a-child/331483/115 "2005-12-03T14:28:35Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > **eleanorigby** , keep in mind that Alcott was writing largely about her own family, and got really annoyed when her readers would write to her BEGGING to have Jo end up with Laurie. > > Besides, the the most recent movie version (with Christian Bale as Laurie-drool!), is wonderful, and I loved Susan Sarandon as Marmee. The movies are fine–I am just asking that it be reread–you’ll be diabetic by chapter 5. Jo ending up with the Professor was one of the few good bits in the book. That and Beth dying, of course. It matters that Alcott’s books were revolutionary for their time only in Lit class. We are talking about children’s books that irritate even children. _Little Women_ is dated and it shows. If some here want to be sentimental about it, so be it. For more glurge and sugar, read _Little Men_ as well–to OD, read the whole series. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-books-that-irritated-you-even-as-a-child/331483/116 "2005-12-03T15:48:40Z")
If you _really_ want to gag, take a look at _Eight Cousins_ (I think that’s the title) and _Rose in Bloom_, its sequel. Granted, I read these both when I was older, and _Eight Cousins_ isn’t so bad as _Rose in Bloom_, but good God, those were _awful_. I nearly threw up by the end. ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-books-that-irritated-you-even-as-a-child/331483/117 "2005-12-04T04:45:12Z")
My mother is German, and one year for Christmas we got her an English translation of German fairy tales, including Cinderalla and Snow White and all the other good ol’ fashioned violent ones. After we all got a good laugh out of it, she brought out [Struwwelpeter](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Struwwelpeter), a German book of “children’s tales,” and read it to us. The highlights include:[ul] [li]A story about a kid who sucked his thumb too much, and so his mother hired a man with a gigantic pair of scissors to come and cut his thumbs off.[/li][li]A little girl who burned to death while playing with matches (and kittens crying over the smoking piles of ashes afterwards).[/li][li]A picky boy who starves to death at the dinner table because he won’t eat his veggies.[/li][li]A kid who laughed at a black child, and so was dunked into a huge inkwell and everybody laughed at him because he was even blacker.[/ul] And that’s just what I can remember. “I was _raised_ with this stuff,” she said, and my brother and I traded glances, amazed to have survived this long without having suffered massive injury.[/li] Another story I had issue with as a child was _The Velveteen Rabbit_. A kid comes down with scarlet fever, and his little stuffed rabbit is his only friend because he can’t go outside. When the kid gets better, everything he came in contact with has to be burned. The little stuffed rabbit makes a wish (or something), gets turned into a real rabbit, and escapes immolation. I remember asking the teacher in school if the rabbit still had scarlet fever. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-books-that-irritated-you-even-as-a-child/331483.md?page=5)