Children's books that irritated you, even as a child

If anyone’s keeping track, I’m also on the anti-Giving Tree list; I also hate Rainbow Fish’s blatant espousal of communist ideals, but since I didn’t read those until I was grown up, I won’t count that.

I remember some of the Encyclopedia Brown books annoying me because some of the solutions were just wrong.

Oh! Me too! I have a friend who calls it The taking kid. That book is horrible and I refuse to have it in the house.

And all those stupid saccharine books about how much I love you. Every single one, from Honey, my bunny to Love you forever, they are all awful. Also I love you the purplest. And The rainbow fish too. I think kids only like that one because of the sparkles, not because it’s actually a good story.

Yes, I am only adding my voice to the chorus. Let me see if I can think of something original.

I remember being horribly disappointed once by those ‘biographies’ every children’s library used to have. There was this whole series, and they were all of real people, but highly fictionalized, and even included Washington’s cherry tree incident. I remember once reading one and being entranced by the exciting story. I told my mom about this amazing girl and her adventures–and my mom broke the news to me: “That’s all made up. No one knows what happened to Virginia Dare.”

Stupid biography. It lied to me! Biographies are supposed to be true!

Oh, and Mrs. Molesworth. Talk about sappy. Everyone thank your stars that you’re not a Victorian child, because now you never have to read Mrs. Molesworth.

What gets me about the Arthur books…Originally he looked a lot more like an aardvark and the first book was about how Arthur was teased because of his long snout and how he learned to be proud of who he was, snout and all. Then what happens in the second book? He’s drawn with that round short nose that we see today. The hell???

But Arthur is only marginally an aardvaark, like Snoopy is marginally a beagle.

Arthur is cool and I won’t hear a word against him.
:stuck_out_tongue:
And it’s I’ll Love You Forever; I’ll Love You For Always -sorry, got title wrong before. My MIL gave it to my oldest son at Christmas (he was two)–and like the attention whore she is, made us listen to her read it OUT LOUD to ALL OF US after dinner.

Yea gods, I don’t like that woman.

And the book? It got “lost”. Hee.

My Side of the Mountain.

Only read it once, a loooong time ago, but it left a lasting – and powerfully repellent – impression. Mostly because the main character, a young kid who basically ends up living alone in a mountain wilderness, was so perfect a survivor that even at that age I couldn’t believe it … or stomach it … for a moment.

Honestly, he was as bad as Ayla (or whatever her name was) in the Clan of the Cave Bear series.

I actually own this book. It depresses me someting awful, but I collect children’s books that make me sad because, well, I’m odd like that. I only came accross it as an adult however.

I read Goodnight Mister Tom in third form and I hated, hated the main boy. So small and troubled, but wait. Under the gruff love of Mister Tom he’s an artist! An actor! So popular! So sweet! Gag me. If he’d been a little less perfect I would have enjoyed it a lot more.

I never read the book but the film of The Point ENRAGED me.

Everyone has a pointy head. Every building and object is angular.

Boy is born with a round head. First they make him wear a dunce hat and then He is kicked out of town with his dog Arrow. (Me and my arrow, taking the high road,…love the song)

After getting his degree from the university of life he goes back and takes off the hat to reveal that he now has a pointed head. Then, after he has physically changed the shape of his head to fit in, the entire world works against him and everything go round so HE IS STILL A FREAK! We will chang ourselves, our children, our building, our world to EXCLUDE YOU!

We had Bereinstain books in my house when I was growing up, too! I see a couple that I recognize in your link, but my mom must have tossed any that were too racy before I was old enough to read. I wish I still had those books today, because they were rather funny.

I disagree.

When I was a kid, this book made me cry. It is so damn sad, it’s awful, and the man in it is a coldhearted bastard.

BUT: this book made me think more about the nature of love, and what is and isn’t good to do to those you love, than anything else I read as a child.

I don’t take this book as a model for what people should be like. I take it as a superior cautionary tale, warning children how badly they can hurt their parents if they’re not careful.

I’m taking a class on children’s literature, and last night, one student brought The Giving Tree in. She screwed me over on a group project, basically not doing her half of the work, and so I already hate her. But I was curious to hear what she would say about The Giving Tree.

“I think it’s a really good book,” she pronounced. “You could use it like in a science lesson, talk to kids about all the different resources you can harvest from trees.”

:eek: :eek: :eek:

Daniel

I am a fellow hater of The Giving Tree (aka The Taking Boy, those creepy-ass Berenstain Bears, and Zebra, if I ever go into therapy, eventually we will find that The Point is the root of every single issue I have.

Adding to the list, I hated Little Men. One of the chapters of the story deals with punishing a little boy who reads too much. Granted, it’s probably a lesson about “all things in moderation,” but when I read it as a child, I was struck by the irony of a book telling you it wasn’t a good idea to read too much. Feh, I said.

I also cultivated a strong dislike for Peter Pan. Peter is kind of a jerk. What’s with all the crowing? If I were Wendy, I would have smothered Peter with a pillow. Later in life, I realized I hated the idea that if a boy liked you, you were supposed to act like his mother and yet strangely, at the same time, if you grew up and actually became a mother, the boy wouldn’t like you anymore because he prefers the younger model.

The Water Babies.

The protagonist, a poverty-stricken child, dies.

Then, the story starts.

An early Victorian children’s book, it’s meassge was :“Poor people are better off dead, so don’t help them.”
:mad:

…And when the tree is nothing more than a stump, it is still overjoyed just to be able to provide seat to the old man. :rolleyes: I knew this book had to come up. Even as a young child the whole concept of this book made me sick.

Man, those are just disturbing to me as an adult.

When can I get them?

Sure–but I think it’s a good thing that it disturbs children. Most children have no concept of how much their parents sacrifice for them, and this book introduces that concept in a way that children can really get.

Did anyone read this book as a kid and think it was a happy story? Seems to me that if it bothered everyone, maybe that was its goal.

Daniel

The Little Prince pissed me off as a kid… I liked the start where the author was talking about drawing the snake that swallowed an elephant, but after that, gawd what a bunch of fey tripe.

In 4th grade (8 or 9 years old) our class was assigned to read the book Bambi. Who knew there was a book? Our class tried to rebel (even the girls), considering Bambi to be for “little kids”… being kids our rebellion failed and we had to read it anyway, hating every single word.

Finally, although I did like the Winnie The Pooh books to begin with… I hated Sterling Holloway’s voice in the Disney versions. It made me not like the book, because I started to hear Holloway’s voice as Pooh Bear’s voice. Bleaugh! Holloway narrated a number of children’s animated shows (and records) in those days, and it always drove me crazy. He sounded so creepy… in a “strangers with candy” type way. I’m still shuddddering.

That sounds to me like a parable to covertly describe the situation of kids who want to grow up to be rock stars/astronauts/movie stars, or basically any career path that sounds like it might be fun. Parents can’t stand the idea that their kids might end up enjoying their jobs, because that would be a tough indictment of their own miserable existences in their own mind-numbingly boring “dependable” jobs.

Oh yeah - the girl who invented everything! Of course, in the later books she swallows too, so it’s all good.
As for children’s books that disturbed me…

I can’t remember the names of the books (maybe it was just one book), but it/they featured a family of creatures apparently called “moomins”. They looked vaguely like bipedal hippopotami and the characters’ names were Moomin Pappa, Moomin Mamma, etc., etc. The only specific scene I can remember involved Moomin Son pouring hot paraffin down an ant hole. There was also a character named something like Little Echo, who appeared to be a vaguely human girl, and the moomin kids were afraid of her for some reason.

I also remember suffering at being forced by schoolteachers to read things like Watership Down.

Moomins

My mother gave me two copies of this book! In our case, the book was for my kids, but I seriously doubt she read anything but the front cover before buying ten copies to distribute.

The thought of my elderly mother climbing in through my window to rock me when I was fully grown was horrifying to me, especially since it’s something she’s likely to do, given half a chance.