# Children's songs your mom didn't let you sing **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 2, 2017, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-songs-your-mom-didnt-let-you-sing/800470 "2017-11-02T07:20:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2017, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-songs-your-mom-didnt-let-you-sing/800470/41 "2017-11-09T21:30:30Z")
> [@Blisters](#): > > I asked my son a few years back if kids still sing the “milk, milk, lemonade” song. > > He didn’t know it, so I demonstrated (I’m guessing you can guess the gestures that go along with the rhyme) > > Milk, Milk, Lemonade. > Round the corner fudge is made. Stick your finger in the hole Hey, you got a Tootsie Roll! ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2017, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-songs-your-mom-didnt-let-you-sing/800470/42 "2017-11-09T22:05:16Z")
We also had: On top of spaghetti All covered with sand, I shot my poor teacher with a red rubberband I shot her with pleasure. I shot her with pride. I couldn’t have missed her - She’w a hundred feet wide. I went to her funeral. I went to her grave. Everybody threw flowers - I threw a grenade. [/QUOTE] The next line that I remember from that song is: I opened her casket And she wasn’t quite dead. So I took a bazooka And blew off her head. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-songs-your-mom-didnt-let-you-sing/800470/43 "2017-11-10T15:30:41Z")
_The Addams Family started when Uncle Fester farted. And now they’re all retarded. The Addams Family!_ ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-songs-your-mom-didnt-let-you-sing/800470/44 "2017-11-10T20:28:24Z")
Here comes the bride Big, fat and wide. Here comes the groom. Skinny as a broom. Here comes the usher The old toilet flusher. Mentioning a flushing toilet was not allowed. ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2017, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-songs-your-mom-didnt-let-you-sing/800470/45 "2017-11-11T08:43:39Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > Variable lyrics included: > I chased her through the bank > With a US Army Tank > > I met her at the door > With a loaded .44. > > I’m sure there were more, but That’s all I can remember. Ok - now I remember: Hit her on the head with a stale piece of bread But we used a german .44 (whatever that was). > [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > We also had: > > On top of spaghetti > All covered with sand, > I shot my poor teacher > with a red rubberband > > I shot her with pleasure. > I shot her with pride. > I couldn’t have missed her - > She’w a hundred feet wide. > > I went to her funeral. > I went to her grave. > Everybody threw flowers - > I threw a grenade. We had a few variations. But in our case, the teacher was only 90 feet wide. (You americans are so fat;)) ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-songs-your-mom-didnt-let-you-sing/800470/46 "2017-11-14T12:32:46Z")
Another unusually dated rhyme I recall: I pledge allegiance to the flag Michael Jackson was a fag Pepsi Cola burned him up Now he’s drinking 7-Up For those who weren’t around back then: 1. There was an incident years ago in which Michael Jackson was hospitalized with burns from an accident that occurred while filming a Pepsi commercial. So, this is now a ditty like most that seems to have been passed on through generations. 2. These days, Michael Jackson is widely suspected of being creepy with children, but formerly he was among a handful of pop artists often dismissed as homosexuals. Back then, people who made these accusations were considered bigoted, but people who considered themselves broad-minded would defend others against charges of homosexuality instead of defending the legitimacy of homosexuality. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-songs-your-mom-didnt-let-you-sing/800470/47 "2017-11-14T13:22:50Z")
God bless my underwear My only pair Stand beside, and guide her Through the rips and the holes and the tears From the washer to the dryer, to the clothesline, up above… God bless my underwear, my only pair God bless my underwear, my oooonly pair ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-songs-your-mom-didnt-let-you-sing/800470/48 "2017-11-14T17:42:45Z")
> [@dzeiger](#): > > Probably the least appropriate one I remember > > On top of Old Smokey > All covered with blood > I shot my poor teacher > with a .44 slug > > I went to her funeral > I went to her grave > Instead of flowers > I threw a grenade My elementary school’s variation: \*On top of Old Smokey All covered with mud I found my poor teacher all covered with blood. A knife in her stomach an axe in her head and now my poor teacher may soon be dead.\* [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/childrens-songs-your-mom-didnt-let-you-sing/800470.md?page=2)