# Chimp beat down. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 4, 2005, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891 "2005-03-04T13:54:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891/21 "2005-03-05T00:14:01Z")
This happened right outside of town…really sad. It has been all over the news since it happened- in graphic, graphic detail. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891/22 "2005-03-05T00:28:13Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > This happened right outside of town…really sad. It has been all over the news since it happened- in graphic, graphic detail. On the other hand, when a bunch of poachers shoot the crap out of a band of wild chimps or gorillas, almost nobody blinks an eye. ☹ I feel sorry for the victim, and equally, if not moreso, sorry for the creatures that are forced to live in their enclosures. Very sad, indeed. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891/23 "2005-03-05T00:36:20Z")
When heard it on the news, the quote was “almost rippdhis face off”. ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891/24 "2005-03-05T00:40:08Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > On the other hand, when a bunch of poachers shoot the crap out of a band of wild chimps or gorillas, almost nobody blinks an eye. ☹ Yes, the real tragedy here is not the death of the two chimpanzees, but the fact that we as a species see fit to imprison another sentient species simply for the sake of our own entertainment. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891/25 "2005-03-05T00:45:22Z")
You MANIACS!!! DAMN YOU!! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!! ---
**Author:** ![Dubious\_Sacrifice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f08c70/32.png) [@Dubious\_Sacrifice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dubious_Sacrifice)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891/26 "2005-03-05T03:27:24Z")
Any news on how these chimps got out? Did someone leave a door open, or something? ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891/27 "2005-03-05T03:36:18Z")
Did Michael Jackson Do That To His Face On Purpose? … Mystery Finally Resolved?!? [Clue] It was **Bubbles** , In The _Hyperbolic Chamber_ With His Teeth[/Clue] [They report, you decide](http://www.kget.com/news/state/story.aspx?content_id=715A39A6-41F7-49E2-B876-64261D7BFF86) > [@](#): > > …the _monkeys_ that attacked Mister Davis essentially chewed his face off…it will require extensive microvascular surgery just to try to reattach Davis’ nose… ---
**Author:** ![Unregistered\_Bull](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3da27b/32.png) [@Unregistered\_Bull](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unregistered_Bull)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891/28 "2005-03-05T03:46:44Z")
Shit. That sucks for the guy. He should have given the chimp up for medical research or have it destroyed instead of giving some silly sanctuary and then throwing it a birthday party. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891/29 "2005-03-05T05:24:26Z")
Cecil speaks on [the astonishing and terrifying physical prowess of chimpanzees](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_001b.html). ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891/30 "2005-03-05T05:47:50Z")
I’ll never watch another Trunk Monkey ad with the same lightness of heart > **[Trunkmonkey Racing - Trunkmonkey Training Headquarters](https://www.trunkmonkeyracing.com/)** > > The latest Trunk Monkey videos, news, and buzz! Aw, how can I stay mad at you scamps! ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891/31 "2005-03-05T05:49:40Z")
How horrible. This actually makes me pretty ashamed to be a primate. Can you imagine any other animal going specifically for the face and the balls? Shark? Lion? Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891/32 "2005-03-05T10:05:02Z")
> [@Duke of Rat](#): > > “Get your hands off of me, you damn dirty ape!” > > Sorry… Had to. He can type! ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891/33 "2005-03-05T10:22:43Z")
> [@masonite](#): > > How horrible. This actually makes me pretty ashamed to be a primate. Can you imagine any other animal going specifically for the face and the balls? Shark? Lion? Ugh. Yes, but I won’t reveal her name. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891/34 "2005-03-05T22:09:43Z")
Unmentioned so far is the fact that in addition to severing his foot and pulling off his testicles, they also chewed off most of his face. > [@](#): > > Dr. Maureen Martin, of Kern Medical Center, said the monkeys chewed most of Davis’ face off and that he would require extensive surgery in an attempt to reattach his nose. Wild chimps will hunt and eat infant monkees of other species, and will also snathc and eat human babies if they get the chance and are hungry. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891/35 "2005-03-05T22:12:10Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Unmentioned so far is the fact that in addition to severing his foot and pulling off his testicles, they also chewed off most of his face. > > Wild chimps will hunt and eat infant monkees of other species, and will also snathc and eat human babies if they get the chance and are hungry. Davy Jones beware! monkeys = monkees snatch = snathc ---
**Author:** ![Dubious\_Sacrifice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f08c70/32.png) [@Dubious\_Sacrifice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dubious_Sacrifice)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891/36 "2005-03-06T01:24:01Z")
Jeez, I just can’t think of anything more horrific than having your nuts ripped off, your foot severed, and your face eaten by a couple of chimps! :eek: I can’t begin to imagine what that guy is going through right now. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891/37 "2005-03-06T21:16:08Z")
I guess the victim just got off on the wrong foot with the chimps and lost face from the incident. He doesn’t have the balls to visit a chimp shelter again after all that.\* \*Yes, I know I made a similar joke about the Welsh fellow who cut his balls off over sports bet. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891/38 "2005-03-06T21:55:46Z")
[Well this is an interesting twist to the story](http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=45425): > [@](#): > > The couple [the victim and his wife] were at Animal Haven Ranch, in a canyon 48 kilometres east of Bakersfield, to celebrate the birthday of Moe, a 39-year-old chimpanzee who was taken from their suburban Los Angeles home in 1999 after biting off part of a woman’s finger. > > …Mr and Mrs Davis [the victim and his wife] had waged an unsuccessful legal fight to bring Moe back to their West Covina home and visited him regularly at the sanctuary, where he had been living since October. > > In 2000, after city prosecutors decided to drop charges against them in Moe’s 1999 attack, Mr Davis said Moe was not a threat to the public and attacked only when provoked. > > “Animals bite, people bite, Mike Tyson bites. So what?” he said. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891/39 "2005-03-06T22:16:04Z")
I saw the woamn on the news…she and her idiot husband went to the primate center to have a birthday party for their chimp! As she bent down to cut her chimp a piece of chocolate cake, the chimp grabbed her husband, knocked him down, and proceeded to chew his face off! Freaking idiots! A chimpanzee is NOT a human…hey are wild animals, unpredictable, vicious, and capable of causing great harm to people. These two idiots thought that their chimp was like human child…well, that’l learn em! ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891/40 "2005-03-06T22:49:00Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > I saw the woamn on the news…she and her idiot husband went to the primate center to have a birthday party for their chimp! As she bent down to cut her chimp a piece of chocolate cake, the chimp grabbed her husband, knocked him down, and proceeded to chew his face off! > Freaking idiots! A chimpanzee is NOT a human…hey are wild animals, unpredictable, vicious, and capable of causing great harm to people. These two idiots thought that their chimp was like human child…well, that’l learn em! I’m thinking the other chimps were wildly pissed that Moe was getting treat and they weren’t, and this is probably not the first time he got a delectable treat from his doting parents, and they didn’t. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chimp-beat-down/292891.md?page=3)