# China trains monkeys to protect its air force bases **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 6, 2014, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/china-trains-monkeys-to-protect-its-air-force-bases/687831 "2014-05-06T19:56:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2014, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/china-trains-monkeys-to-protect-its-air-force-bases/687831/1 "2014-05-06T19:56:37Z")
> **[China has a small contingent of trained monkeys protecting its air force base](https://theweek.com/speedreads/453867/china-small-contingent-trained-monkeys-protecting-air-force-base)** > > Twitter Well, of course they would. It’s not like they have a surplus of people or anything. Do they? China has a small contingent of trained monkeys protecting its air force base Dolphins are so last month. The Chinese military revealed its “secret weapon” yesterday: monkeys. The People’s Liberation Army said it has trained a small contingent of the furry creatures to protect its air forces base from birds that endanger its fleet of planes. State-run media showed videos of the impressive feats the primates are capable of, such as quickly scurrying up trees to destroy nests, leaping far distances, and scaring off birds. The monkeys are trained to respond to “precise whistle commands” from their handlers and can destroy six to eight birds nests an hour, reports the Washington Post. Migrating birds have long threatened the base’s jets, since they frequently get sucked into their engines. Chinese media didn’t reveal the base the monkeys are being used at, but described it as being in the Beijing military zone. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Little\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Pig)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2014, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/china-trains-monkeys-to-protect-its-air-force-bases/687831/2 "2014-05-07T10:01:16Z")
You gotta be shittin me, Charlie Wayne. Maybe we can subvert them with bananas. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2014, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/china-trains-monkeys-to-protect-its-air-force-bases/687831/3 "2014-05-07T10:05:51Z")
Next step: gorilla warfare. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Little\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Pig)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2014, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/china-trains-monkeys-to-protect-its-air-force-bases/687831/4 "2014-05-07T10:15:04Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Next step: gorilla warfare. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2014, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/china-trains-monkeys-to-protect-its-air-force-bases/687831/5 "2014-05-07T19:28:34Z")
Dangerous move - China does not need aggravate the Avian brotherhood. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2014, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/china-trains-monkeys-to-protect-its-air-force-bases/687831/6 "2014-05-07T20:08:19Z")
Did they mention if they were also conducting genetic experiments on the monkeys? This can’t end well. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2014, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/china-trains-monkeys-to-protect-its-air-force-bases/687831/7 "2014-05-07T20:18:06Z")
Do the monkeys have a rank? Primate First Class? Who’s in charge of the program? The Commander-In-Chimp? And that is some interesting camo on the trainer. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2014, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/china-trains-monkeys-to-protect-its-air-force-bases/687831/8 "2014-05-07T20:22:08Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > Did they mention if they were also conducting genetic experiments on the monkeys? This can’t end well. I foresee some future [taikonaut](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taikonaut#Chinese) staring in horror at the ruins of the [Spring Temple Buddha](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spring_Temple_Buddha) half-buried in the sand. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/china-trains-monkeys-to-protect-its-air-force-bases/687831/9 "2014-05-08T03:07:06Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > And that is some interesting camo on the trainer. It started out all-blue , but then things were said, feces was flung…it all got a bit messy. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/china-trains-monkeys-to-protect-its-air-force-bases/687831/10 "2014-05-08T11:42:45Z")
Has the Chinese army decided to FIGHT LIKE APES!? Perhaps to march into the Forbidden Zone?