# Chinese Officials Probe 10,000 Pigeon Anuses **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 2, 2014, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153 "2014-10-02T02:23:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153/1 "2014-10-02T02:23:28Z")
[For bombs](http://www.theverge.com/2014/10/1/6877269/nervous-chinese-officials-search-pigeon-anuses-for-bombs). What with all those Muslim Uighurs causing problems and now Hong Kong, authorities in Beijing decided it was only prudent to probe each anus of the 10,000 pigeons that were to be released in celebration of National day this week, just in case some sort of nasty surprise was hiding up there. I mean nastier than usual. Quote: **“The entire process was reportedly videotaped.”** I can only hope Homeland Security in the US is taking notes. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153/2 "2014-10-02T03:15:23Z")
I thought that birds (including pigeons, as far as I know) didn’t have anuses, they had cloacas. Not as compelling a headline, I suppose. What a shitty job, though! ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153/3 "2014-10-02T03:19:56Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > I thought that birds (including pigeons, as far as I know) didn’t have anuses, they had cloacas. Small comfort to the pigeons being probed. ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153/4 "2014-10-02T03:35:55Z")
How big an explosive can you shove up a pigeon’s bum anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153/5 "2014-10-02T04:13:15Z")
Seems like it would be quicker to stick a bunch in a box and xray them. I think someone just has a fetish for pigeonholes. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153/6 "2014-10-02T04:13:36Z")
Reminds me of [Project Pigeon](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Pigeon). And my all-time favorite – [the bat bomb](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bat_bomb). ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153/7 "2014-10-02T14:02:00Z")
Articles like this remind me almost daily that no matter how much I dislike my job sometimes; it’s not nearly as bad as it could be. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153/8 "2014-10-02T14:31:04Z")
Well, if there weren’t any terrorist pigeons before this there certainly are some now. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153/9 "2014-10-02T16:57:48Z")
And people thought being part of an authoritarian power structure was _fun_. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153/10 "2014-10-02T17:12:28Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > And people thought being part of an authoritarian power structure was _fun_. There’s a billion people in China. I’m sure there’s at least a few who have an avian rectal fetish. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153/11 "2014-10-02T17:23:04Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > I thought that birds (including pigeons, as far as I know) didn’t have anuses, they had cloacas. > > Not as compelling a headline, I suppose. What a shitty job, though! “Captain, the Klingon Warbird has engaged its Cloacaing Device!” ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153/12 "2014-10-02T17:38:14Z")
> [@Diceman](#): > > There’s a billion people in China. I’m sure there’s at least a few who have an avian rectal fetish. Probably, but how do you find them? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153/13 "2014-10-02T17:40:02Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > Probably, but how do you find them? Facebook? Or, is there such a thing as Assbook? ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153/14 "2014-10-02T17:57:56Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Facebook? > > Or, is there such a thing as Assbook? PigeonAssbook? ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153/15 "2014-10-02T18:24:18Z")
Well I’ve learned that thread titles really are funnier if you add, “in bed” to the end. And that a journey of 10,000 anuses starts with a single probe. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153/16 "2014-10-02T18:37:06Z")
I initially read “pigeon” in the title as “prison.” ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153/17 "2014-10-02T18:45:53Z")
Well, now we know when doves cry. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153/18 "2014-10-02T19:07:14Z")
> [@SiamSam222](#): > > … > Quote: **“The entire process was reportedly videotaped.”** … Coulda made a fortune as pay per view! I’ll be scouting the porn sites. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153/19 "2014-10-02T19:08:24Z")
Unless I am missing some alien tech, the biggest “bomb” that could be put up a pigeon’s… hole… is a little smaller than an M80. Throwing, say, fifty M80s into a crowd would not be without consequences, but would hardly represent a WMD. ---
**Author:** ![Reno\_Nevada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Reno\_Nevada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reno_Nevada)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153/20 "2014-10-02T19:14:05Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Throwing, say, fifty M80s into a crowd would not be without consequences, but would hardly represent a WMD. Bear in mind that each one of those fifty M80s would be surrounded by a live pigeon when it exploded. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chinese-officials-probe-10-000-pigeon-anuses/700153.md?page=2)