# Choose a ficitonal lawyer to defend you on a murder charge. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 3, 2003, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285 "2003-10-03T06:47:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285/21 "2003-10-03T14:34:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by glee \* > \*_Oh, I should mention that I especially admire Atticus Finch_ for his courage and morals. But he wasn’t successful in stopping the railroading, so Perry it is. Do you think someone else would have done better than Atticus? I’m with the ‘But he rocks. And anyway, I don’t know many other fictional lawyers’ crowd. > [@](#): > > \*it’s another thread, but do you remember in the film when Atticus gets up after the verdict and slowly walks out the court? > All the blacks in town are sitting in the balcony. As Atticus passes beneath they all silently rise, and the Reverend says to Atticus’ daughter “Stand up little miss. Your father is passing.” > That combination of respect and courage in the face of tragedy makes me cry every time I watch it. nitpick: that was actually in the book as well. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285/22 "2003-10-03T15:01:41Z")
The only time Perry Mason lost a case on the TV series was “The Case of the Deadly Verdict”, in the seventh season, although he was able to prove his client (Julie Adams) was innocent in the end. ---
**Author:** ![Kaspar\_Hauser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b3f665/32.png) [@Kaspar\_Hauser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaspar_Hauser)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285/23 "2003-10-03T15:07:24Z")
Michael Kuzak of _MacKenzie Brackman Cheney and Kuzak_, though not if Grace Van Owen was prosecuting. ---
**Author:** ![Threadkiller](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aca169/32.png) [@Threadkiller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Threadkiller)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285/24 "2003-10-03T15:14:54Z")
Or, if you want to lose, look no farther than _Bloom County_’s Steve Dallas. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285/25 "2003-10-03T15:27:43Z")
I’m going with Gunn, too: if he was able so easily to get an obvious murderer off, he’d have no problem with my case. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285/26 "2003-10-03T15:31:18Z")
The Johnnie Cochran from South Park (if he counts) would be my choice. No one can defeat the Chewbacca Defense. It just don’t make sense! ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285/27 "2003-10-03T15:36:33Z")
**watsonwil** you just beat me to it… Basically the OP wants a lawyer to get a guilty murderer off. **J/C** ’s the guy that can do it. ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285/28 "2003-10-03T15:36:45Z")
If I’m innocent, Matt Murdock. I think that whole lie detector thing would really pay off for me. If I were guilty, I’d have to pick Bobby Donnell. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285/29 "2003-10-03T15:45:57Z")
I want the Hyperchicken lawyer from _Futurama_. “Your honor, I move that I be disbarred for that there in-competence” ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285/30 "2003-10-03T15:49:25Z")
Damn, I wanted to say Matt Murdock. Fine, how about Jennifer Walters (the She Hulk)? Good lawyer, and she can throw a bus at opposing counsel to boot. ---
**Author:** ![gex\_gex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@gex\_gex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gex_gex)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285/31 "2003-10-03T15:50:31Z")
Mr Burns’ lawyer from The Simpsons. If I had him, the prosecutor would have to be Troy Mcleur (they always seem to go up against each other). There’s no _way_ I’d be convicted. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285/32 "2003-10-03T16:02:11Z")
Perry Mason, just so I could flirt with Della Street (provided, of course, that she doesn’t try and sell me an Amana Radar Range). ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285/33 "2003-10-03T16:13:11Z")
Billy Flynn (Richard Gere from _Chicago_). He’s never lost a murder case, remember? Of course, he only defends good-looking women, so I’m out on both counts. ---
**Author:** ![Wartime\_Consigliori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@Wartime\_Consigliori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wartime_Consigliori)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285/34 "2003-10-03T16:20:32Z")
Another vote for **Perry Mason** , although I think a trained sea monkey could outwit the overly-ambitious, ever-clueless D.A. Hamilton “Ham” Burger. Plus, Perry has the ultra-cool Paul Drake and delectible Della Street on the team. Aw, damn. Perry Mason ROCKS! [http://www.oz.net/~daveb/pm\_cast.htm](http://www.oz.net/~daveb/pm_cast.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285/35 "2003-10-03T16:28:14Z")
Another vote for Rumpole, if in the UK. In the US … hmm. What was the name of that firm, Wolfram and Hart? I heard they were, um, innovative. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285/36 "2003-10-03T16:39:17Z")
**gex** , you’re thinking of Lionel Hutz, not the great actor Troy McClure, who you might remember from such films as _The President’s Neck is Missing_, _The Unbearable Moistness of Sweating_, and _Good Time Slim, Uncle Doobie, and the Great 'Frisco Freak-Out_. ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285/37 "2003-10-03T17:13:02Z")
Quoting Opus the Penguin, “Someone get me Joyce Davenport!” (From “Hill Street Blues” for you kids out there.) ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285/38 "2003-10-03T17:19:50Z")
Sam Cogley, who defended Captain Kirk on _ST:TOS_. 'Cause I’m a geek & I’m PROUD OF IT!!! 😉 😃 ---
**Author:** ![emulsified](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emulsified/32/2915_2.png) [@emulsified](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emulsified)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285/39 "2003-10-03T17:37:53Z")
Fictional attorneys… Hmm… I think Claire Huxtible was an attorney, but I don’t know if I’d use her. I’d probably go with Lionel Hutz because he works cheap and even if he’s a poor lawyer, he could probably get me off on a bad court thingy. He’s an amazing law-talking guy. ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285/40 "2003-10-03T17:59:52Z")
Brisco County or Matt Murdock (Daredevil). Charles Gunn is also now an excellent choice, provided you can afford his firm’s services. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-ficitonal-lawyer-to-defend-you-on-a-murder-charge/205285.md?page=3)