# Choose a fictional or historic food for your last meal. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 5, 2011, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881 "2011-05-05T21:19:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881/41 "2011-05-06T03:58:57Z")
Whole stuffed camel. Camel. Stuffed with a sheep. Stuffed with chickens. Stuffed with fish. Stuffed with eggs. Baked in a trench for 2 days.Plovers, bustards, dates, etc. optional… ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881/42 "2011-05-06T04:12:03Z")
Casu Marzi. A whole giant wheel of it. I will use this to make my escape! ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881/43 "2011-05-06T06:30:10Z")
I’ll take the entrails of the person who will execute me. Not the person who _would_ execute me, if I hadn’t been served his or her entrails, nor the entrails of the alternative-world analog of the person who will execute me, but the entrails of the universe-specific person who will, in fact, execute me, the ones that would be in his or her bowels at the time I’m eating them, but for the fact that you’ll have had them removed, cleaned thoroughly and sauteed with shallots and white wine. Depending on how these things work, I suppose it’s possible that the resulting paradox won’t blow a hole in the multiverse big enough to destroy a million realities in every transdirection, but even if it doesn’t, at least I’ll have me §revenge in a small way. ETA: And just to be safe, I’ll have their brain, deep fried and dusted in powdered sugar with a scoop of ice cream and a sauce made from their soul for dessert. ---
**Author:** ![mehgs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/74df32/32.png) [@mehgs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mehgs)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881/44 "2011-05-06T07:40:24Z")
I know I won’t be hungry so I’ll order a bowl of that stuff that Simon made for River, just to find out if Jayne was right and it does smell like crotch. The Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster will obviously be included in my request. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881/45 "2011-05-06T08:07:15Z")
braised trake buttered ermal funistrada ---
**Author:** ![mac\_bolan00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b3f665/32.png) [@mac\_bolan00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mac_bolan00)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881/46 "2011-05-06T08:17:42Z")
king farouk’s last meal (include the cigar and the busty blonde sitting beside him.) ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881/47 "2011-05-06T08:24:27Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > For the record, if one can find a universe where the Unicorns are in fact totally mundane creatures, or actually evil, would Unicorn steak be acceptable? The universe of the Elvenbane series, where unicorns are beautiful, stupid, and insanely aggressive. And the unicorns of the Garret series were nasty bastards, even if sentient. ---
**Author:** ![Bakhesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Bakhesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bakhesh)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881/48 "2011-05-06T08:33:00Z")
The ambrosia thing probably wouldn’t work out so well if you ordered it in the UK… [http://www.britishgoods.com/1/components/com\_virtuemart/shop\_image/product/Ambrosia\_\_Devon\_\_4c239ce3acd78.jpg](http://www.britishgoods.com/1/components/com_virtuemart/shop_image/product/Ambrosia __Devon__ 4c239ce3acd78.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881/49 "2011-05-06T08:50:11Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > Wasn’t ambrosia deadly to mortals, at least in some stories? > > Anyhoo, I’d go for a fruit from the tree of life, for similar reasons. No no, you want the [root](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tree-of-Life), from the Tree-of-life, not the fruit. I’ll take a few julienned and deep fried, served with ketchup and fry sauce. Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters are too fancy for me. For simplicity’s sake, gimmie some of that Ol’ Janx spirit. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881/50 "2011-05-06T13:13:48Z")
I’d want a small brontosaurus steak topped with a passenger pigeon egg, washed down with _Miruvor_. Because, why not? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881/51 "2011-05-06T14:24:05Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Fool of a **dajja**! > > Unicorns are avatars of Christ. Killing the last unicorn in any given universe is just begging for Aslan or Tulkas or Metatron or some such to come after you with murderous, chastening, or otherwise violent intent. Add to that the fact that I have no virgins on staff, and my fundamental cowardice… > > Sorry, not happening. I can get you a Kentaur steak though. Fair enough - really, as long as it’s something sufficiently rare to make the environmentalists cringe, I’m happy. I would point out, though, that I don’t see why I should worry about Aslan or anyone else coming after me. I mean, what are they going to do, have me executed? (Aslan doesn’t seem the torturing type.) ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881/52 "2011-05-06T14:36:35Z")
What about ambrosia chopped into small pieces and mixed with marshmallows, mandarine orange slices and cherries in a sweetened sour cream dressing? Surely that would allay the warden’s suspicion, in the US, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881/53 "2011-05-06T14:45:39Z")
> [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > What about ambrosia chopped into small pieces and mixed with marshmallows, mandarine orange slices and cherries in a sweetened sour cream dressing? Surely that would allay the warden’s suspicion, in the US, anyway. Though it may also arouse his contempt. Horrible stuff, ambrosia. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881/54 "2011-05-06T15:13:13Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Unless the warden is named Johansson or the like, I can probably slip by an order for apple pie made with the Apples of Idun. I’m reasonably sure it will get through because Loki is a drinking buddy of mine, and he owes me a few. ``` Now that, my friend, is quality thinking. Make the system work *for* you. ``` > [@Ranchoth](#): > > (Yeah, I’ll admit my first thought was “Ambrosia,” too…and my second thought was that I was probably going to get executed by mincing, and then buried at sea. So I’d get to spend eternity as semi-digested chum. :eek: ) > > For the record, if one can find a universe where the Unicorns are in fact totally mundane creatures, or actually evil, would Unicorn steak be acceptable? I don’t see why not. And now that I think on it, the Unicorns of Phaze qualify. Of course they’re badasses in their own right, but they’re not Aslan or even St. Michael level. > [@WhyNot](#): > > Perhaps this is overly sentimental, but I’d like my grandmother’s sauerbraten dinner, complete with potato pancakes and red cabbage, with the gravy made with crushed up gingersnaps. > > She used to make it every year for my grandfather’s birthday, but we haven’t had it in over a decade due to her failing health (and now Alzheimer’s.) No one else can make it quite like her. I’d like it just once more. Especially if Grandpa (died in 1998) could be there to carve the meat while I “stole” snitzels from the platter… ☹ :: silly hat off :: It was that sort of thought that inspired the thread, actually. I’m makng a replica of my mother’s chicken casserole and lemon cheesecake for Sunday dinner, and though my nieces and sisters claim it is just like Mom’s, in fact I know better. Mom had a special something or other she didn’t tell even me about. :: silly hat on :: > [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > The universe of the Elvenbane series, where unicorns are beautiful, stupid, and insanely aggressive. And the unicorns of the Garret series were nasty bastards, even if sentient. Too easy. I’m not suicidal enough to go against Metatron, but it’ll be Phaze unicorns I’ll be murdering. Anything less would not be sporting. > [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > Fair enough - really, as long as it’s something sufficiently rare to make the environmentalists cringe, I’m happy. I would point out, though, that I don’t see why I should worry about Aslan or anyone else coming after me. I mean, what are they going to do, have me executed? (Aslan doesn’t seem the torturing type.) How do you expect **me** , of all people, to get in and out of Narnia without earning the Great Lion’s ire? Maybe **Polycarp** or **Mr Dibble** could, but they wouldn’t be murdering unicorns. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881/55 "2011-05-06T15:26:54Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > How do you expect **me** , of all people, to get in and out of Narnia without earning the Great Lion’s ire? Maybe **Polycarp** or **Mr Dibble** could, but they wouldn’t be murdering unicorns. Oh, right. Sorry, that _was_ selfish of me, wasn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881/56 "2011-05-06T15:54:04Z")
I’ve changed my mind: I want the meet-the-meat from the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. As a vegetarian, it’s the only meat I’ll eat, and your vegetarian options are all crap - you won’t even serve me ambrosia! I appreciate it might take a while to get this food. That’s OK; I’ll wait. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881/57 "2011-05-06T16:00:42Z")
> [@SciFiSam](#): > > I’ve changed my mind: I want the meet-the-meat from the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. As a vegetarian, it’s the only meat I’ll eat, and your vegetarian options are all crap - you won’t even serve me ambrosia! > > I appreciate it might take a while to get this food. That’s OK; I’ll wait. Probably will take until the end of the universe. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881/58 "2011-05-06T16:09:10Z")
> [@SciFiSam](#): > > I’ve changed my mind: I want the meet-the-meat from the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. As a vegetarian, it’s the only meat I’ll eat, and your vegetarian options are all crap - you won’t even serve me ambrosia! > > I appreciate it might take a while to get this food. That’s OK; I’ll wait. Sadly from your POV, no matter how long it takes by the caterers’ subjective measure to pick up & deliver your meal, from your POV it will be available almost immediately after the order is put in. And I never said that RhymerInc wouldn’t serve you ambrosia. I said that I doubt the guards would let ambrosia be served and will likely be stolen. **silenus** has already come up with a viable alternative. ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881/59 "2011-05-06T16:43:36Z")
I choose potatoes of mind control. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881/60 "2011-05-06T22:55:35Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Sadly from your POV, no matter how long it takes by the caterers’ subjective measure to pick up & deliver your meal, from your POV it will be available almost immediately after the order is put in. How come? > [@](#): > > And I never said that RhymerInc wouldn’t serve you ambrosia. I said that I doubt the guards would let ambrosia be served and will likely be stolen. **silenus** has already come up with a viable alternative. Oh, so you’re running a corrupt business now? Pfft. And _I’m_ the one in jail. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-a-fictional-or-historic-food-for-your-last-meal/580881.md?page=4)