# Choose between a lifetime of hideous disfigurement, or immediate, painless death. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 3, 2013, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989 "2013-06-03T01:22:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/1 "2013-06-03T01:22:18Z")
So one day you’re walking along, minding your own business, not bothering anybody, when you hear hoofbeats behind you. Turning, you see dozens of horses galloping down the street, each ridden by seven-foot-tall, zaftig blonde, and each pursuing a different person on the street. Before you can say “Damn you, Skald!” the nearest blonde grabs you by the scruff and spurs her steed into the air. Lickety-split you find yourself in Hlidskjalf, where Odin sits on his throne. The Valkyrie stuffs a rag into your mouth to keep you quiet while the Evil Worker says his piece. “I’m bored again,” Old One-Eye says, “so I have decided to conduct an experiment. I’m wondering how many of you mortals would choose a lifetime of ugliness over immediate death, so I’ve chosen 100 of you to test – and you, obviously, chose the wrong street to walk down today. Anyhoo, here’s the deal. In about one minute I’ll have my shield-maiden ungag you. When you can talk, you must choose between becoming as ugly as the[Elephant Man](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Merrick) or an immediate death. If you choose the former, your deformities will extend only to your face; you’ll remain as physically able as you are now otherwise, with no problems with your arms, spine, or legs; you’ll be able to breathe and otherwise behave normally, and you’ll live as long as you would have normally, absent accident, homicide, or suicide. Though you’ll share Merrick’s hideousness, you’ll still be recognized by those who know you and be able to prove you’re you, so you can try to make a go of life with that unpleasant face. If you choose death, I’ll have the Valkyrie drag your ass over to Fenris’s pen and dump you inside. I can’t say your death will be PAINLESS, but it’ll be quick.” Which do you choose, and why? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/2 "2013-06-03T01:32:56Z")
Immediate death. I’ve had enough challenges in my lifetime, I’m not up for another one right now. Maybe in a little while I’d feel differently, but right now I’ll go with turning my on/off switch to off. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/3 "2013-06-03T01:39:23Z")
I don’t have the skills it takes to finesse a face like the Elephant’s Man. You need a lot of inner strength to compensate for that level of ugliness, and I simply don’t have it. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/4 "2013-06-03T01:42:24Z")
Death. Like monstro, I don’t have the inner strength. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/5 "2013-06-03T02:58:14Z")
\ One Merrick Special, please. I’ll take “better looking” any day. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/6 "2013-06-03T03:08:06Z")
I’ve survived facial problems severe enough to require surgery and result in copious amounts of puss draining from holes/craters in my skin for months at a time - I wouldn’t _like_ being hideous for life but I think I could cope, even if that meant becoming a bit of a recluse. I’m also reasonably sure as one can be that my family and my spouse would not abandon me and would still love and care for me. I choose Ugly But Alive. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/7 "2013-06-03T03:39:32Z")
Death will always remain an option, so why not make a go of the face? ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/8 "2013-06-03T03:44:47Z")
Ugly. There’s a world of options even if I felt I couldn’t face the outside world. Message boards, movies and books, hobbies, having pets etc etc. You can order almost everything online from clothes, to groceries to gourmet meals. Even being housebound wouldn’t mean a life without richness. ---
**Author:** ![ReticulatingSplines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@ReticulatingSplines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReticulatingSplines)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/9 "2013-06-03T04:11:15Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Ugly. There’s a world of options even if I felt I couldn’t face the outside world. Message boards, movies and books, hobbies, having pets etc etc. You can order almost everything online from clothes, to groceries to gourmet meals. Even being housebound wouldn’t mean a life without richness. Right, but who’s going to give you a job so you can afford all that stuff? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/10 "2013-06-03T04:17:56Z")
I think I’d have to go with hideous. It’s not like it would make any real difference in my social life. ---
**Author:** ![romadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@romadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romadea)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/11 "2013-06-03T04:33:42Z")
Hideousness. I have this weird quirk where I’m scared of dying. > [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > Right, but who’s going to give you a job so you can afford all that stuff? I would be a phone psychic. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/12 "2013-06-03T05:10:13Z")
I’m torn. I can see it both ways. If my face is really that hideous, it’s going to change my social life. I’ll have to stop going out in public, just so as not to frighten children. Life would become reclusive. A lot harder to find and keep a job, too. You say that it isn’t disabling, the way the loss of a limb would be, but it would still have a pretty big effect on quality of life. And…I’m not a very good coper anyway. So… I could go either way. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/13 "2013-06-03T05:40:16Z")
I went with ugly for the sheer fact that suicide is still an option if I can’t be happy with my new ugly self. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/14 "2013-06-03T05:54:04Z")
I’ll take hideous disfigurement, please. I can’t see that it would make a tremendous amount of difference in my life, other than the stares and comments of random strangers. We used to have a woman working in my office who had severe facial disfigurement, and nobody really cared or noticed except when television cameras showed up to do a story on her. I can’t see how it would impact my computer-based job, and I have faith that my friends and family would stand by me no matter how I looked. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/15 "2013-06-03T09:13:54Z")
**Skald** , there’s a discrepancy between your title and Odin’s words. Elephant Man, please. I don’t want to die, I work in an industry where appearances aren’t important and my wife mostly loves me for my mind. Is the Swift Tricker going to nix any attempts at post-change cosmetic surgery? ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/16 "2013-06-03T09:39:33Z")
Voted live. In itself, the disfigurement is not reason enough to end my life. In practice, it might be enough to push me over the edge ultimately…but I would be prepared to play it out. ---
**Author:** ![listedmia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@listedmia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/listedmia)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/17 "2013-06-03T10:15:41Z")
> [@romadea](#): > > Hideousness. I have this weird quirk where I’m scared of dying. > > I would be a phone psychic. Ditto, except “Phone sex operator”. Kill two birds with one stone. I understand that they’re generally faking it, but I figure that with enough sexy talking to strangers, I’d get off once in a while. I’d also probably be a bit more reckless than I currently am and go back to doing massive amounts of drugs. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/18 "2013-06-03T10:24:55Z")
Is that the best you got? Fugly vs Dead? Shit, I aint no oil painting as it is and I’m old enough to not really give a shit anymore so I’ll take the beating with the fugly stick and hang around thanks. Now if you were comparing MS or cancer, might be a different answer. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/19 "2013-06-03T10:44:01Z")
> [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > Right, but who’s going to give you a job so you can afford all that stuff? Assuming my family completely abandons me, if I’m so disfigured that I can’t work, I can go on disability and tap into my retirement money and my current savings. Also, with my skill set I could teach online classes very easily. An Internet connection, one bedroom apartment and modest entertainment and utility costs aren’t that much. One BravoTV or TLC special and I’m probably set for awhile. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/20 "2013-06-03T10:46:40Z")
Live, and hope to play the hand with as much grace as [Kay Nesbit](http://www.abc.net.au/gnt/people/Transcripts/s952984.htm) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989.md?page=2)