# Choose between a lifetime of hideous disfigurement, or immediate, painless death. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 3, 2013, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989 "2013-06-03T01:22:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/41 "2013-06-03T19:33:53Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > Yes, he did, in the subject line. > > Now how can I trust him? šŸ˜ƒ That only proves that you canā€™t trust _me_. Didnā€™t you already know that? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/42 "2013-06-03T19:38:27Z")
I really donā€™t give a shit how I look, if it comes right down to it. The government canā€™t fire me for looking ugly, and an ugly statistician is just as good a statistician as a handsome one. My son loves his daddy because of who I am and what I am in his life; if I suddenly looked like the Elephant Man, heā€™d probably tease me about it more than anything else. (Judging by other things that have happened already, heā€™d probably take his cues from me: if I showed up with an Elephant Man face, but was laughing and wisecracking about it, heā€™d take it in stride.) And my wife would put up with me and find a way to live with it, because thatā€™s who she is. My friendsā€¦Iā€™d find out who they were, wouldnā€™t I? So Iā€™d take the Merrick Special and keep on truckinā€™. I canā€™t think of a reason in the world why Iā€™d throw in the towel for such a silly reason. Besides, I want to be part of as many years of my sonā€™s life as possible. Iā€™m not tossing that away for anything. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/43 "2013-06-03T19:46:17Z")
Death please. I donā€™t think I could take the look of fear on my granddaughterā€™s face. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/44 "2013-06-03T19:56:13Z")
Nothing in the scenario says you canā€™t try for plastic surgery after the transformationā€¦ right? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/45 "2013-06-03T19:58:17Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Nothing in the scenario says you canā€™t try for plastic surgery after the transformationā€¦ right? I was wondering why no one suggested this. Remind me to teleport you a piece of lemon meringue pie. I wouldnā€™t ask Odin if youā€™ll be able to get plastic surgery, though. Thatā€™ll just put ideas into his head. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/46 "2013-06-03T20:29:37Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > _poof, smote_ Die on feet or live on knees etc. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/47 "2013-06-03T23:46:26Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Nothing in the scenario says you canā€™t try for plastic surgery after the transformationā€¦ right? This was my thought, but I was staying quiet about it, because thereā€™s no sense in drawing attention to the loopholes when theyā€™re found. Choose ugly rather than dead. Option 1) One order of plastic surgery please, and can you give me a decent chin this time around after you undo the ugly? Option 2) After 3 plastic surgeons had heart attacks right before the scapel descends, it seems that ugly is my fate. However, being ugly isnā€™t so bad after all. Life continues. Perhaps I can make some $ on the side as a circus freak on YouTube. Option 3) After 3 plastic surgeons spontaneously combusted before they finished drawing on me, it seems the ugly is triumphant. I drown my sorrows in alcohol, but the tide of triste rises, leaving me desolate in my disfigurement. But wait, I can always kill myself! Muahahah! Uglification, I thwart you and die anyway! Always leave your options open til the last minute, people! ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/48 "2013-06-03T23:50:10Z")
Hideously disfigured, please. Then I could really strike fear into the hearts of children. Iā€™d call myself the Crooked Man and just walk through the woods at nightā€¦ Making horrible moaning sounds. Then go back home and be all chill on the Internet, and order a pizza. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/49 "2013-06-03T23:53:52Z")
Immediate death, no question about it for me. ā€œDeath may be the greatest of all human blessings.ā€ ~ Socrates This was my signature a few months ago. My signature is basically always a Socrates quote and itā€™s a different one every month. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/50 "2013-06-04T01:07:13Z")
For a real life example of someone in this scenario, read the story of [Josh Miele](http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/03/nyregion/40-years-after-an-acid-attack-a-life-well-lived.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0), who was disfigured and blinded as a child. I think his life would be worth choosing, even with the disfigurement and disability. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/51 "2013-06-04T05:37:24Z")
Iā€™ll live. Iā€™m working in computer hardware to take a break from software. Flipping back and working from home would be trivial if my appearance did become a factor. And Iā€™ve never given a tinkerā€™s damn what others think of my appearance. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/52 "2013-06-04T09:14:37Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I was wondering why no one suggested this. _ahem_ post #15? ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/53 "2013-06-04T10:41:01Z")
Hey, half my friends are with the circus anyway, Iā€™m sure Iā€™d work something out šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/54 "2013-06-04T16:15:55Z")
Iā€™d live. I wouldnā€™t be too happy about it, but people endure all sorts of shit while still finding meaning in their lives. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/55 "2013-06-04T16:34:20Z")
Not a difficult choice. For whatever reason, my first impression is already bad enough that pretty young women will not talk to me and turn away even when Iā€™m _the only person whoā€™s stopped at the scene of their car crash._ Merrick at least knows _why_ people wonā€™t look at him. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989/56 "2013-06-04T16:54:42Z")
Actually, one question that occurred to me: when you say _as ugly as_ The Elephant Man, does that mean necessarily that you have the same affliction as he did? The reason I ask is because in the linked picture, Merrickā€™s head is quite large and misshapen, so it would even be hard to do something like wear a ninja mask or something and be able to hide oneā€™s deformity. Not that it would make a difference to meā€“Iā€™d choose to live either wayā€“but being ugly with a normal-sized and -shaped head would be a lot easier. I could just do myself up in a Muslim-style headscarf so only my eyes were visible, and might even be able to go out in public. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-between-a-lifetime-of-hideous-disfigurement-or-immediate-painless-death/659989.md?page=2)