# Choose new animals to pull Santa's sleigh **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 19, 2007, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547 "2007-12-19T03:02:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/1 "2007-12-19T03:02:39Z")
Rudolph and crew are AWOL for some mysterious reason. What species would you pick to fill their (so to speak) shoes? I was thinking of grizzly bears. They’re omnivores, so you could stop and get them a snack almost anywhere. ---
**Author:** ![yearsofstatic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/779978/32.png) [@yearsofstatic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yearsofstatic)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/2 "2007-12-19T03:08:06Z")
Humans. Pick them up on every continent if they get tired. Feed them whatever and they’re good. Promise them that they’re doing something good and they’ll be happy. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/3 "2007-12-19T03:12:16Z")
Anacondas. Nobody will mess with the sleigh while Santa’s down the chimney. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/4 "2007-12-19T03:13:00Z")
[These guys.](http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/12/17/giant.rat.ap/index.html?iref=newssearch) No, no, click on “2” and to see the perfect sleigh puller. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/5 "2007-12-19T03:18:58Z")
[Thestrals.](http://www.hp-lexicon.org/bestiary/thestrals.html) ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/6 "2007-12-19T03:21:15Z")
Giant flying squid. This year, by gum, _everyone_ will be worried about being on Santa’s _naughty_ list! ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/7 "2007-12-19T03:24:03Z")
Griffins. Yeah, Griffins. You can feed them trail mix, practically. Everyone knows Yule Griffins ate only fruit and nuts. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/8 "2007-12-19T03:25:18Z")
Eyelash mites. Granted, Santa would need rather a lot of them. But they are extremely clean, and among the most easily trained of the Acarii. I taught mine to organize my comic book collection. ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/9 "2007-12-19T03:32:31Z")
[Kangaroos](http://www.cafepress.com/30405060/2145393) of course. ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/10 "2007-12-19T03:35:47Z")
[QUOTE=The Sonoran Lizard King] Griffins. Yeah, Griffins. You can feed them trail mix, practically. Everyone knows Yule Griffins ate only fruit and nuts. [/QUOTE] Griffins are good on the barbecue, apparently Jahweh approved. Send 'em down the chimney. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/11 "2007-12-19T03:58:26Z")
Dachshunds. Oh, how cute that would be! Other contenders: Dragons, Tyrannasaurus Rexes, Katie Couric. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/12 "2007-12-19T04:09:13Z")
Okapi. I love okapi. Either them, or spider monkeys. ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/13 "2007-12-19T04:15:55Z")
I’m going to put in a word for the Allosaurus Gang, but we’re not going to bring the sled around to deliver presents, we’re going to deal directly with the overpopulation of Veeraptors. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/14 "2007-12-19T04:21:39Z")
[QUOTE=Kat] or spider monkeys. [/QUOTE] There is something to be said for flinging fecal matter at bad boys and girls… ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/15 "2007-12-19T05:38:43Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] [These guys.](http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/12/17/giant.rat.ap/index.html?iref=newssearch) No, no, click on “2” and to see the perfect sleigh puller. [/QUOTE] Those giant rats are sure cute but I’ve got to go with my perennial favorites, good ol’ [capybaras.](http://www.hedweb.com/animimag/capybara.htm) I’ve got some already trained to power the SDMB but since we’re still stuck with wimpy little hamsters, the capys might as well make themselves useful pulling Santa’s sleigh. Though, I do like the idea of the squids too. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/16 "2007-12-19T05:40:02Z")
Polar Bears. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/17 "2007-12-19T06:46:42Z")
_The Golden Girls_ [Lou Dobbs]Mexican day laborers.[/Lou Dobbs] [Al Gore]No animals but batteries powered by the months of constant sunlight, or else whales as the North Pole will be underwater soon anyway.[/Al Gore] Monkeys in pink tights and kilts ---
**Author:** ![BaneSidhe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c5a1d2/32.png) [@BaneSidhe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaneSidhe)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/18 "2007-12-19T06:49:21Z")
Flemish Giant bunnies, or Welsh Ponies. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/19 "2007-12-19T06:58:34Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] _The Golden Girls_ [/QUOTE] How could you? Think of the suffering! The terror! The sheer horror! Anything but **them** come again to punish the _naughty_ while Santa rewards the _nice_! My squid are at least humane, dammit! ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/20 "2007-12-19T07:25:20Z")
Magically stamina-enhanced cheetahs? Moose? Sabertoothed cats? What about those flying whales that were popular in the 80s or 90s, or flying dolphins? Musk oxen? [Scottish Highland cattle](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highland_cattle)? Ooo, I know! Flying manta rays! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547.md?page=2)