# Choose new animals to pull Santa's sleigh **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 19, 2007, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547 "2007-12-19T03:02:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/21 "2007-12-19T08:16:11Z")
With all due respect to Terry Pratchett, Hogs. We’ve got Hogfather the miniseries on telly for Christmas. Oh, happiness. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/22 "2007-12-19T10:53:24Z")
I want to say tapeworms, but I think penguins would actually be pretty cool. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/23 "2007-12-19T10:55:42Z")
[QUOTE=Zabali\_Clawbane] What about those flying whales that were popular in the 80s or 90s [/QUOTE] You’re not by chance remembering [skywhales](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVmKhNG6S3o), are you? ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/24 "2007-12-19T13:21:42Z")
64,000 star-nosed moles… with dragonfly wings. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/25 "2007-12-19T13:26:25Z")
Penguins Blowfish ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/26 "2007-12-19T13:28:52Z")
Flying pigs would be my Cincinnati-influenced answer. I’d suggest sheep, but they don’t so much fly as they do plummet. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/27 "2007-12-19T13:37:32Z")
[QUOTE=ShibbOleth] I’d suggest sheep, but they don’t so much fly as they do plummet. [/QUOTE] Though they do plummet less spectacularly than turkeys. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/28 "2007-12-19T13:38:16Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] Penguins [/QUOTE] This Holiday Preoccupation with [Penguins](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=9287418#post9287418) is damned odd. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/29 "2007-12-19T13:39:17Z")
Velociraptors. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/30 "2007-12-19T13:57:03Z")
> [@](#): > > This Holiday Preoccupation with Penguins is damned odd. They live where it’s cold (also where it isn’t, but that’s irrelevant), and the image of them waddling along with a sled behind them, or flapping their flipper-wings and “swimming” the sled along, is priceless. Especially if the lead one has a red beak. And… _Penguins_ bother you, but it doesn’t that I suggested _BLOWFISH_??? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/31 "2007-12-19T14:04:34Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] Especially if the lead one has a red beak. [/QUOTE] I’ll concede that, but HTF does Santa get the sled from the North Pole to the South to harness up the Penguins? If eight tiny reindeer can take him half way across the world, WTF does he need the penguins? What do the reindeer do afterwards, Mr. Smartypants, take a cab home? Remember what they say about a reindeer scorned! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/32 "2007-12-19T14:07:15Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ll concede that, but HTF does Santa get the sled from the North Pole to the South to harness up the Penguins? If eight tiny reindeer can take him half way across the world, WTF does he need the penguins? What do the reindeer do afterwards, Mr. Smartypants, take a cab home? He doesn’t go to the South Pole. He keeps them in a Penguiin retreat at the North Pole. It’s next to the blowfish tank. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/33 "2007-12-19T14:08:15Z")
He’s going to need to relocate anyway, as the polar ice cap in the north is going to melt down, leaving him very wet for part of the year. I think he needs to use narwhals to haul his big, pimply butt down to Antartica, then emperor penguins to “fly” him around the world. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/34 "2007-12-19T14:08:47Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] He keeps them in a Penguiin retreat at the North Pole. It’s next to the blowfish tank. [/QUOTE] Ah ha, so it’s forced labor, is it? And just wait until PETA finds out about the blowfish tank! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/35 "2007-12-19T14:10:02Z")
[QUOTE=ShibbOleth] He’s going to need to relocate anyway, as the polar ice cap in the north is going to melt [/QUOTE] Now you may have something there, especially since I’ve never seen Al Gore and Santa together at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/36 "2007-12-19T14:14:05Z")
[QUOTE=Kat] Okapi. I love okapi. [/QUOTE] I can’t believe someone beat me to Okapi. I actually told my daughter a story about Santa breaking down in central Africa and the Rain Deer needing to rest and recuperate and that 8 enchanted Okapis took their place. My daughter is getting an Okapi for Christmas (A toy one of course, she loves them.) A team of Pegasi would be great or a few Giant Eagles of Manwë would be excellent replacements. Jim ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/37 "2007-12-19T14:16:31Z")
Cats I wish I could find a copy of a Christmas got I got once showing a team of cats harnessed to Santa’s sleigh, with all of them looking distinctly annoyed and saying things like “Can we do this after my nap?” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/38 "2007-12-19T14:25:25Z")
> [@](#): > > Ah ha, so it’s forced labor, is it? And just wait until PETA finds out about the blowfish tank! Why is this any more forced labor than using reindeer? And why would anyone care about the blowfish tank? It’s just that the piranhas didn’t work out. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/39 "2007-12-19T14:33:18Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] _The Golden Girls_ [Lou Dobbs]Mexican day laborers.[/Lou Dobbs] [Al Gore]No animals but batteries powered by the months of constant sunlight, or else whales as the North Pole will be underwater soon anyway.[/Al Gore] Monkeys in pink tights and kilts [/QUOTE] I think you ment [Al Gore]ManBearPigs[/Al Gore] Of course zebras would be best. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547/40 "2007-12-19T14:55:15Z")
Roger Clemens and Andy Pettite… "On jucier and cheater and ol’ drug test beater… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-new-animals-to-pull-santas-sleigh/430547.md?page=3)