# Choose your bodyguard/mentor to defend the Dope! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 9, 2012, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-bodyguard-mentor-to-defend-the-dope/634153 "2012-09-09T01:28:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-bodyguard-mentor-to-defend-the-dope/634153/21 "2012-09-10T16:29:11Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Chiun. Excellent choice. As he’s taken, I’m going with Sheldon Cooper. Not simply because anything non-factual will simply go over his head, and he won’t be fazed, but because eventually he will be so annoying that even a Skald-like being will simply explode within a matter hours of having to deal with him. 😛 p.s. I am presuming that this is a board-invasion, and not a physical one. So I wanted someone good with words, or too stubborn and arrogant to get taken down by even the most irritating and manipulative of board-trolls. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-bodyguard-mentor-to-defend-the-dope/634153/22 "2012-09-10T18:12:50Z")
**Skald** for dementor? ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-bodyguard-mentor-to-defend-the-dope/634153/23 "2012-09-10T18:42:42Z")
Cohen the Barbarian. Or Rincewind if the Luggage gets to come (it does, or you’ll be sorry) ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-bodyguard-mentor-to-defend-the-dope/634153/24 "2012-09-10T18:49:55Z")
Sherlock Holmes for me. He will take about three seconds to observe the **Skaldternate’s** weakness and devise a strategem to exploit it. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-bodyguard-mentor-to-defend-the-dope/634153/25 "2012-09-10T18:50:50Z")
Trinity. Because sexy heros fight more evil. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-bodyguard-mentor-to-defend-the-dope/634153/26 "2012-09-10T19:45:09Z")
Superman to protect me. Batman to train me. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-bodyguard-mentor-to-defend-the-dope/634153/27 "2012-09-10T20:41:47Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I don’t understand why you think I – much less a more evil version of me – wouldn’t be able to talk to Willow. And _you_ don’t understand the “no-violence against-women” rule. More specifically, you have forgotten the Three Exceptions: self-defense, protection of someone I love, and shoving into a lifeboat. Why? Why? Cause [this is why](http://popcultureplaypen.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/willow-rosenberg.jpg). Even Evil Skaldernate couldn’t harm that woman. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-bodyguard-mentor-to-defend-the-dope/634153/28 "2012-09-10T23:01:45Z")
Elastigirl (of the Incredibles). Because in between conflicts [I could think of other things to do.](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/k2Ti3Pq2r3s/hqdefault.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-bodyguard-mentor-to-defend-the-dope/634153/29 "2012-09-10T23:07:32Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Elastigirl (of the Incredibles). > > Because in between conflicts [I could think of other things to do.](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/k2Ti3Pq2r3s/hqdefault.jpg) I would comment that you are thinking about putting the movies on a woman with a super-strong, nigh-invulnerable husband, only it occurs to me that Elasti-Girl could _also_ break every bone in your face if she felt like it. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-bodyguard-mentor-to-defend-the-dope/634153/30 "2012-09-10T23:42:38Z")
It’s gotta be our own **Clothahump** , who from what I recall has an arsenal that would make the Marine Corp think twice before taking him on. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-bodyguard-mentor-to-defend-the-dope/634153.md?page=1)