# Choose your superpower... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 24, 2001, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883 "2001-08-24T11:48:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jackas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3bc359/32.png) [@jackas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackas)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883/1 "2001-08-24T11:48:27Z")
A couple of friends and I have been arguing about the best superpower to have. What does everyone else think? The following rules were established: 1. It must be a superpower of an existing superhero 2. You can only have ONE superpower of that superhero We rated our choices on the following: 1. Ability to pickup chicks/blokes (of course!) 2. Ability to use your power for financial gain (either through illegal activities or by “showing off”) 3. Ability to get everyday tasks done. We may need to add in a few more rules/ratings as we go but let’s see. BTW, I chose “invisibility”. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883/2 "2001-08-24T11:57:41Z")
I think I’d have to go with Plastic Man’s plastic body. Just think what I could do with that in bed grrrrrowow 😉 And say my neighbors aren’t home, but thoughtlessly left their window open. I’d just reach over and check out what’s in their fridge. But the sexual options it would open are just staggering! ---
**Author:** ![Hugh\_Jass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4da419/32.png) [@Hugh\_Jass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hugh_Jass)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883/3 "2001-08-24T13:45:50Z")
Ahhh. One of the great philosophical questions of stoners who read comic books. For some reason, I had never considered the sexual benefits of Plastic Man. A compelling argument. I would probably choose invisibility. I could gain access to places off limits to me and profit from it. Althought telekinesis would be great for getting beers from the fridge. ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883/4 "2001-08-24T13:55:03Z")
Magnetic Colon? Oh… okay. I’m gonna go with Telekinesis. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Who\_me\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/958977/32.png) [@Who\_me\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Who_me_1)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883/5 "2001-08-24T14:08:36Z")
X-ray vision. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883/6 "2001-08-24T14:10:24Z")
Flying at high speed! Wheeee! Great for getting to work, would impress my date and in my space time, I could do the rush hour traffic reports and work for a messenger service. [sub]Magnetic Colon? I thought it was Prehensile Sphincter?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883/7 "2001-08-24T14:31:06Z")
To heck with that, I wanna be **Matter Eater Lad.** ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883/8 "2001-08-24T14:53:36Z")
While flight is a very close second, invisibility is the number one choice. ---
**Author:** ![Bartman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@Bartman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bartman)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883/9 "2001-08-24T14:53:46Z")
Teleportation ala Snapper Carr. This guy has a range of several thousand km, and is able to 'port several tons with him, and never seems winded when he does. I could put NASA out of business. Or open a new delivery system. “When it absolutely has to be there right now!” I bet I could make a very comfortable living. And that is without porting into bank vaults or other restricted areas. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883/10 "2001-08-24T15:08:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Simetra \* > \*\*Magnetic Colon? > \*\* That or the ability to talk to corn. 😉 Seriously, though, I’m gonna have to go with Resurrection Man’s ability to come back with a new power each time he gets killed. ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883/11 "2001-08-24T15:12:39Z")
Aaahh…that’s like wishing for more wishes! 🙂 If having superhero items counts, then I want Green Lantern’s power ring. Otherwise, I’ll go with shapeshifting. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883/12 "2001-08-24T15:26:51Z")
A friend of mine (who not only reads comics but WRITES them) posed this question just the other day. His choice was Omnipotence. Ok, it doesn’t fit the rules here but I still think it’s a good choice. Assuming I could make my camera invisible and then visible again later, I’d go with invisibility. I’d be the worlds greatest photographer. (Since I am a photographer and have little interest in thwarting crime.) ---
**Author:** ![NutWrench](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nutwrench/32/20193_2.png) [@NutWrench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutWrench)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883/13 "2001-08-24T15:37:59Z")
Telekinesis. Because you could use it to move _yourself_ as well and have the added bonus of being able to fly and deflect bullets! ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883/14 "2001-08-24T18:16:06Z")
Second sight. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883/15 "2001-08-24T18:24:33Z")
Healing. The world of elderly, rich, ailing people would beat a path to my door and throw their rich, nubile granddaughters at me. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883/16 "2001-08-24T18:38:20Z")
I’m starting to suspect that not all of us here would use our powers to benefit mankind. With my power of invisibility, I would be the perfect security guard for, say, women’s locker rooms or sorority houses. ---
**Author:** ![SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpaceGhostofArrakis)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883/17 "2001-08-24T18:46:07Z")
Super-speed, like the Flash. Vibrating through walls, moving so quickly people don’t notice, incoming bullets slow down to “matrix” like level, ooohhh yeah. ---
**Author:** ![kingtrw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/958977/32.png) [@kingtrw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingtrw)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883/18 "2001-08-24T20:06:28Z")
Being able to turn into a penguin. Just THINK of the comdy potential of that. A guy gets into a lift and theres someone already in there. A few mins later the first guy looks to his side and sees a penguin. Looks again, and theres a normal bloke there, reading the paper. This could keep me amused for hours. ---
**Author:** ![evilhanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba8739/32.png) [@evilhanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilhanz)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883/19 "2001-08-24T20:15:25Z")
**ultrafilter** and **simetra** have already alluded to Dave’s top10. I thought _I_ was going to be clever and pipe in with **“ability to calm jittery squirrels”**. 🙂 I’d settle for invisibility. > [@](#): > > Top 10 Least Exciting Superpowers - August 3, 1990 > > 1. Super spelling > 2. Lightning-fast mood swings > 3. Really bendy thumb > 4. Can breathe soup > 5. Ability to calm jittery squirrels > 6. Power to shake exactly two aspirin out of a bottle > 7. Ability to get tickets to Goodwill Games > 8. Power to score with other superheroes’ wives > 9. Ability to communicate with corn > 10. Magnetic colon ---
**Author:** ![Kittie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@Kittie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kittie)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883/20 "2001-08-24T20:21:41Z")
Telekinesis…or “Super-sex”. Can that be a power?? ~Kittie [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choose-your-superpower/77883.md?page=2)