# Choosing a counselor/therapist **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 14, 2008, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choosing-a-counselor-therapist/441330 "2008-03-14T03:52:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2008, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choosing-a-counselor-therapist/441330/1 "2008-03-14T03:52:21Z")
I really need to be seeing one. I have tried a couple, but as far as I was concerned, we never really clicked. I really don’t respond well to bland. I believe in the value of CBT, but I want to move beyond that and understand WHY I do/think/feel these things. I understand how to use CBT to combat cognitive distortions. I want to know what the distortions are rooted in. One positive counseling experience I had was with someone who challenged me, who would essentially say “Bullshit!” in response to something I said. I want to come away from a counseling session feeling energized and ready to fight my demons. How do I go about finding someone I will click with? Is there a particular approach/philosophy I should look for? I thought a Gestalt therapist might be a good match for me, but the one I found was…bland. I liked where she was trying to take me, though. I hate the thought of going through the intake process over and over and over until I find someone. Does anyone have suggestions about how to narrow my choices? ---
**Author:** ![Plan\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Plan\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plan_B)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2008, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choosing-a-counselor-therapist/441330/2 "2008-03-14T03:55:58Z")
If you like CBT and want something deeper, try Schema Therapy: [http://schematherapy.com/](http://schematherapy.com/) Here’s a good self-help book about it: > **[Reinventing Your Life: The Breakthrough Program to End Negative Behavior and...](https://www.amazon.com/Reinventing-Your-Life-Breakthrough-Negative/dp/0452272041)** > > Buy Reinventing Your Life: The Breakthrough Program to End Negative Behavior and Feel Great Again on Amazon.com ✓ FREE SHIPPING on qualified orders ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2008, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choosing-a-counselor-therapist/441330/3 "2008-03-14T12:14:00Z")
> [@](#): > > One positive counseling experience I had was with someone who challenged me, who would essentially say “Bullshit!” in response to something I said. I want to come away from a counseling session feeling energized and ready to fight my demons. If you can, see if you can get a recommendation from this counselor. My primary care physician was able to recommend a psychiatrist for me, who he knew and trusted. My PCP and I both agreed that my medication needed to be adjusted, and the shrink that he recommended had been in internal medicine for a while, so the shrink knew how diabetics commonly reacted to many antidepressants. ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2008, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choosing-a-counselor-therapist/441330/4 "2008-03-14T12:41:34Z")
Therapists do vary so much, in their approach and their competence. The best one I ever met (he’s a little bit famous and did wonders with me) told me straight-out that EXPERIENCE is the key factor. He swore that studies have shown it, that therapists who’ve been practicing for a long while (regardless of degree or approach) have a much higher efficacy rating. That’s consistent with what I’ve experienced. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2008, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/choosing-a-counselor-therapist/441330/5 "2008-03-14T20:16:18Z")
Along with choosing the right person (and I’ll admit, it can be a crapshoot), there is also the option of asking someone to work a certain way with you. What I mean is, you could ask someone to explore the why with you, even if they usually don’t do that. Some therapists wouldn’t be interested/able/whatever, but others would.