# Chris Kluwe is back :)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chris-kluwe-is-back/735395
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [October 21, 2015, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chris-kluwe-is-back/735395 "2015-10-21T20:27:08Z")
**Posts on this page:** 15
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2015, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chris-kluwe-is-back/735395/1 "2015-10-21T20:27:08Z")
[The latest from the sparklepony guy](http://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/davidbadash/former_nfl_star_anti_gay_lawmaker_lustful_cockmonster_takes_down_anti_lgbt_nfl_owner), who eventually lost his job as an NFL punter for not hating gays enough. This time it’s Houston Texans owner Bob McNair:
> [@](#):
>
> “Surely,” I said to myself, “one of the NFL’s thirty-two owners, businessmen with more accumulated wealth than most third world nations and completely vested in the well-being of the society that afforded them such success … surely this man could not be a pants-on-head, cowhumping glue-huffer stupid enough to buy in on clearly outdated ideals of bigotry and intolerance?”
>
> Sadly, however, it appears I must hide my livestock, because the facts do not lie. You have, indeed, donated $10,000 to a cause whose sole purpose is to denigrate a specific group of American citizens.
> [@](#):
>
> On the one hand, we have a feel good, league-sanctioned position of a professional sports league intended to support all members of the populace, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. And then on the other hand, we have you: A slack-jawed, moldering husk of pigvomit, all wrapped up in a too-expensive designer suit; a sluggish waste of oxygen who values bigotry over empathy.
>
> Sincerely,
>
> Someone Who Is Sick And Tired Of Watching Stupid Old White Men Ruin The World For Everyone Else Because They Can’t Get Over The Fact That Everyone Deserves A Chance To Live Their Life,
>
> Former NFL Player,
>
> Chris Kluwe
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### Author:  [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2015, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chris-kluwe-is-back/735395/2 "2015-10-21T20:40:33Z")
Sparklepony?
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### Author:  [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2015, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chris-kluwe-is-back/735395/3 "2015-10-21T20:48:40Z")
Kluwe wrote a letter to a Maryland legislator a couple of years ago castigating him for homophobic behavior. It was a very crude letter and a sanitized version was also released for sharing on facebook without scandalizing your Aunt Irma that used phrases like sparklepony instead of cockmonster.
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### Author:  [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2015, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chris-kluwe-is-back/735395/4 "2015-10-21T20:49:48Z")
_Beautifully uniqu_e sparkleponies. Sorry, I thought that was too legendary a public Pitting to be forgotten. [Here ya go.](http://www.twincities.com/ci_21493439/chris-kluwe-explains-his-letter-supporting-same-sex)
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### Author:  [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2015, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chris-kluwe-is-back/735395/5 "2015-10-21T20:52:06Z")
Love Chris Kluwe.
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### Author:  [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2015, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chris-kluwe-is-back/735395/6 "2015-10-21T21:10:16Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#):
>
> _Beautifully uniqu_e sparkleponies. Sorry, I thought that was too legendary a public Pitting to be forgotten. [Here ya go.](http://www.twincities.com/ci_21493439/chris-kluwe-explains-his-letter-supporting-same-sex)
Thank you for posting this, I’d not heard this news story. “UNFORTUNATELY PHALLIC HEDGE SCULPTURE.” Not seen the original, but his self-Bowdlerizing is hilarious.
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### Author:  [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2015, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chris-kluwe-is-back/735395/7 "2015-10-21T21:31:46Z")
The man has a way with words. Go Chris!
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### Author:  [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2015, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chris-kluwe-is-back/735395/8 "2015-10-21T22:44:10Z")
I thought Kluwe lost his job for being an expensive punter who wasn’t worth the money because, punter. Kind of like Steve Weatherford for the Giants who was beloved and basically a real life version of Captain America. He lost his job because after a while in the league they get too expensive and a young guy can do it for half the price. Kluwe’s outspokenness probably didn’t help but he lost his job and didn’t get another because of league minimum salaries. That’s the life of a NFL punter.
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### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [October 22, 2015, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chris-kluwe-is-back/735395/9 "2015-10-22T14:52:33Z")
> [@Loach](#):
>
> Kluwe’s outspokenness probably didn’t help but he lost his job and didn’t get another because of league minimum salaries. That’s the life of a NFL punter.
That’s what the Vikings said, of course, but the timing of Kluwe’s release was very, very suspicious.
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### Author:  [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)
#### Post date: [October 23, 2015, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chris-kluwe-is-back/735395/10 "2015-10-23T06:21:42Z")
Whatever, [he’s a fucking troll](http://shadowrun.wikia.com/wiki/Mr._Kluwe).
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### Author:  [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)
#### Post date: [October 23, 2015, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chris-kluwe-is-back/735395/11 "2015-10-23T12:04:00Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#):
>
> That’s what the Vikings said, of course, but the timing of Kluwe’s release was very, very suspicious.
And the numbers back them up. He was an Ok punter and they got someone to do as good a job or better for less than half the money. And he wasn’t picked up by another team. Like I said, look at Steve Weatherford. He was one of the most popular Giants. Says all the right [Mom and Apple Pie things.](http://www.weatherford5.com/) As a punter he is amazingly probably the best pure athlete and in the best shape of anyone on the team. He is heavily involved in charity. I’ve heard women swooning over him. Due to league minimums for veteran players he was due to be paid $2.35 million. He was cut. His replacement cost $500k. That is the current reality for punters. Unless you can prove you are outstanding you will be priced out of a job. There are plenty of young punters that can do basically the same job. Teams will throw money at stars. They will not spend an extra million on a punter. Kluwe probably didn’t help himself by being outspoken but the bottom line was he wasn’t worth the money.
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### Author:  [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)
#### Post date: [October 23, 2015, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chris-kluwe-is-back/735395/12 "2015-10-23T16:17:24Z")
Kluwe certainly shatters the NFL player stereotype.
In that
- he’s not a lunkhead
- he hasn’t been busted for using performance enhancers
- he’s not involved with criminal activity and uses his wealth to cover it up
- he’s not a glory hound who makes money on the side selling pizzas, energy drinks and phone calling plans
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### Author:  [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)
#### Post date: [October 23, 2015, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chris-kluwe-is-back/735395/13 "2015-10-23T17:26:54Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#):
>
> In that
>
> - he’s not a lunkhead
> - he hasn’t been busted for using performance enhancers
> - he’s not involved with criminal activity and uses his wealth to cover it up
> - he’s not a glory hound who makes money on the side selling pizzas, energy drinks and phone calling plans
In summary, he was a punter.
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### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [October 23, 2015, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chris-kluwe-is-back/735395/14 "2015-10-23T17:30:47Z")
I LOLed.
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### Author:  [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)
#### Post date: [October 23, 2015, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chris-kluwe-is-back/735395/15 "2015-10-23T19:29:06Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#):
>
> I LOLed.
+1