# Christians And Their Shitty Fuckin Pizza **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 16, 2012, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145 "2012-12-16T01:11:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145/41 "2012-12-16T23:46:58Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > I live in NJ. Best pizza in the world. For some reason my girlfriends kids like Dominos. I don’t consider it real pizza but just like Stouffer’s French Bread pizza or Pizza Hut, sometimes I don’t mind it. Especially their thin crust. Very thin and crunchy. And it’s cheap and delivery is fast. Huh. Maybe their crust has indeed changed. I don’t ever remember it being crunchy. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145/42 "2012-12-16T23:47:30Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > The best pizzas around here come from the Greek delis. In New York, the Puerto Ricans run them. Some of the best takeout pizza (or sit-down neighborhood Italian) that I had in NYC was in Albanian-run places. Albanians (and other south Slavs like Kosovars, Montenegrins and such) have been immigrating to Italy forever to do jobs Italians won’t take, like waiting tables and line cooking. Some families have been there so many generations they pretty much _are_ Italian. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145/43 "2012-12-17T00:51:08Z")
Solution: Stop patronizing shitty national chains and move someplace the independent pizzarias are good, like Brooklyn or Chicago or New Haven, Connecticut. In Taormina and Naples, they also make very nice pizza. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145/44 "2012-12-17T01:00:36Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > I don’t know. Hot Cross Buns are pretty damn good! Hot cross buns: When a Ku Klux Klansman shoves a burning cross up one’s ass. Q ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145/45 "2012-12-17T01:03:44Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > Hot cross buns: When a Ku Klux Klansman shoves a burning cross up one’s ass. As opposed to what you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?Hot, cross bunnies ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145/46 "2012-12-17T19:19:10Z")
> [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > Solution: Stop patronizing shitty national chains and move someplace the independent pizzarias are good, like Brooklyn or Chicago or New Haven, Connecticut. > > In Taormina and Naples, they also make very nice pizza. Pizza in those places is shit. Pizza in NY and NJ is shit. The only acceptable pizza besides home made is Little Ceasars. Fucking heathens the lot of ya. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145/47 "2012-12-17T19:56:39Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Some of the best takeout pizza (or sit-down neighborhood Italian) that I had in NYC was in Albanian-run places. Albanians (and other south Slavs like Kosovars, Montenegrins and such) have been immigrating to Italy forever to do jobs Italians won’t take, like waiting tables and line cooking. Some families have been there so many generations they pretty much _are_ Italian. Interestingly enough, one of the best pizzas I’ve ever had was in Pristina, Kosovo, at a pizzeria run by Kosovar Albanians. In my opinion, most homemade pizza is not terribly good. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145/48 "2012-12-17T20:06:43Z")
I hope the above is a joke. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145/49 "2012-12-17T20:26:42Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Interestingly enough, one of the best pizzas I’ve ever had was in Pristina, Kosovo, at a pizzeria run by Kosovar Albanians. > > In my opinion, most homemade pizza is not terribly good. If you like pan piza (thick crust) it’s simple as hell. Thin crust is much more difficult to do at home and takes work, patience, and a bit of trial and error. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145/50 "2012-12-17T20:56:02Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > If you like pan piza (thick crust) it’s simple as hell. Thin crust is much more difficult to do at home and takes work, patience, and a bit of trial and error. Oh, I make quite a lot of pizza at home. I’m pretty happy with my pizza, but I don’t have an oven that can do a proper Neapolitan style, nor do I have a pizza sheeter to get a good Chicago style thin crust. I’d rather order those. I have my way of getting close, but it’s not quite the same. The only ones I like homemade are Detroit style and Chicago deep dish, which are both thick styles of pizza. And making good pizza requires a bit of forethought. You really need to mature the dough for at least a day, and the best pizzerias often have a continuous batch of dough going that feeds the next batch of dough, thus developing a complexity of flavor. Pizza, to me, is nothing with bland dough. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145/51 "2012-12-17T21:09:20Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I thought Jews made the best Chinese food. 😕 Jews make everything better. There are the BASF of ethnic groups. 😃 Even the entirety of the Jewish people could not make Domino’s Pizza worth eating, though. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145/52 "2012-12-17T21:47:31Z")
I don’t know if I can subscribe to the OP’s theory. I used to go to a pretty conservative Chicago-area church with the owner of [Lou Malnati’s](http://loumalnatis.com/), and he makes a pretty tasty pizza. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145/53 "2012-12-17T22:08:49Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Oh, I make quite a lot of pizza at home. I’m pretty happy with my pizza, but I don’t have an oven that can do a proper Neapolitan style, nor do I have a pizza sheeter to get a good Chicago style thin crust. I’d rather order those. I have my way of getting close, but it’s not quite the same. The only ones I like homemade are Detroit style and Chicago deep dish, which are both thick styles of pizza. > > And making good pizza requires a bit of forethought. You really need to mature the dough for at least a day, and the best pizzerias often have a continuous batch of dough going that feeds the next batch of dough, thus developing a complexity of flavor. Pizza, to me, is nothing with bland dough. Yeah, I totally agree. Pan or thick crust is simple. Thin crust takes true dedication. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145/54 "2012-12-17T22:21:38Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > I hear Jews make the best pizza. > [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > The best pizzas around here come from the Greek delis. In New York, the Puerto Ricans run them. > [@John\_Mace](#): > > The cooks are mostly Mexicans. The customers are mostly Asian. > [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Some of the best takeout pizza (or sit-down neighborhood Italian) that I had in NYC was in Albanian-run places. > [@pulykamell](#): > > Interestingly enough, one of the best pizzas I’ve ever had was in Pristina, Kosovo, at a pizzeria run by Kosovar Albanians. If I understand correctly, almost any ethnic group other than Italians makes the best pizza?😕 ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145/55 "2012-12-17T22:34:07Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > If I understand correctly, almost any ethnic group other than Italians makes the best pizza?😕 Well, no. It’s all over the map these days. My favorite pizza in the world is the pizza margherita from Pizzeria Bianco in Phoenix. If I’m about to die and had to pick one meal, that’s on my short list of five meals that I would choose from. He’s Italian-American, as far as I know, although the staff that cooks the pizza is generally not. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145/56 "2012-12-17T23:52:58Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > I don’t know if I can subscribe to the OP’s theory. I used to go to a pretty conservative Chicago-area church with the owner of [Lou Malnati’s](http://loumalnatis.com/), and he makes a pretty tasty pizza. Way to bring out the heavy hitters! Ha ha. Well played. But as long as the Chicago Style “Deep Dish” involves chunks of tomato-on top of the pizza no less-, I have to call Shitty on that, as well. I love living in Chicago-ish, where the pizza can’t be beat. But don’t give me that upside-down crap, and keep the chunks of tomato for those who ordered salad. ---
**Author:** ![DrumBum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e79b87/32.png) [@DrumBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrumBum)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145/57 "2012-12-18T13:23:18Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > More on point, we have \*Agvania \*(“Tomato”) a local pizza chain owned and run by the Breslevs, a particularly nutty Hassidic sect. Their pizza is actually pretty good, if you like really thin crusts. I like thin crusts. Think they will deliver here ? It’s only 5000km or so - we are practically neighbors. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145/58 "2012-12-18T14:40:04Z")
> [@DrumBum](#): > > Think they will deliver here ? As long as you don’t want it on Friday night, they might. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145/59 "2012-12-18T17:08:56Z")
Can we please make a distinction between Protestant born-again crazy Christians pizza and Italian Catholic pizza? I don’t care if you dislike Italian pizza, it’s because you know not what you do. You are wrong. They invented it, for fuck’s sake. Godfather’s, Domino’s and Papa John’s are to pizza what McDonald’s, Burger King and Jack-in-the-Box are to hamburgers. Lowest common denominator, inoffensive bland stuff I give my kid because real pizza is ‘too spicy.’ ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145/60 "2012-12-18T20:57:51Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > More on point, we have \*Agvania \*(“Tomato”) a local pizza chain owned and run by the Breslevs, a particularly nutty Hassidic sect. Their pizza is actually pretty good, if you like really thin crusts. I just hope for their sake that they don’t have a sign with moveable letters. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-and-their-shitty-fuckin-pizza/644145.md?page=4)