# Christians FROM SPAAAACE...! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 28, 2013, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589 "2013-05-28T23:25:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2013, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589/41 "2013-05-29T21:33:12Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > That’s going too far–many are atheists because they’ve sat and thought about it (although more than would like to admit just had an emotional reaction). But I do think it odd how many atheists seem to be unable to not fight the hypothetical. Because the hypothetical is both insane and horrifying. Like **Trinopus** ’s example of Space Nazis; some blonde aliens arrive and announce that they’ve discovered the Truth of Naziism written into the laws of physics and are here to spread the Word. Some aliens have shown up and made a claim that is on the face of it absurd and evil. And yes, “evil” is exactly what I consider Christianity to be, and evil is exactly what these aliens are claiming the basis of the universe to be. So yes; of _course_ I “fight the hypothetical”. _“We’re going to burn forever while the Christians laugh and gloat over our agony”_ is a depressing and pointless position to take. ---
**Author:** ![Neidhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2013, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589/42 "2013-05-29T21:36:22Z")
If this were to happen, it would, in fact, serve as sufficient proof for me of the truth of Christianity and I would hasten to get myself right with God. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2013, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589/43 "2013-05-29T21:54:13Z")
I would assume that the Aliens were not sincere, but rather were adopting the charade of accepting an Earthly religion for reasons of their own. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2013, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589/44 "2013-05-29T22:57:38Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I would assume that the Aliens were not sincere, but rather were adopting the charade of accepting an Earthly religion for reasons of their own. That’s why we have to barbecue them ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589/45 "2013-05-30T01:07:48Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I would assume that the Aliens were not sincere, but rather were adopting the charade of accepting an Earthly religion for reasons of their own. Bingo. I think this is the most likely scenario. Say they wish to peacefully conquer the Earth. All mankind would stand against their influence - but what, they think, if they adopt a guise which would put much of mankind on their side. They observe our TV, and see all the religious broadcasting. They learn about Christianity, and they invent a story about an alien Jesus coming to them. Then, when they land, some of the most xenophobic of the world’s most powerful nation would not only not oppose them but support them. They’d be opposed only by a small band of atheists - and all the Jewish scientists. “Take your paws off of me, you goyisher Ewok!” ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589/46 "2013-05-30T01:30:25Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Or wouldn’t Jesus have come to them as one of THEIR species? (Wicket Christ, Yub Yub!) Actually, I would think their Jesus would have taken the form of C-3PO. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589/47 "2013-05-30T01:39:37Z")
> [@Yumblie](#): > > Actually, I would think their Jesus would have taken the form of C-3PO. He can have robot followers too. “I choose to believe, what I am _programmed_ to believe!” ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589/48 "2013-05-30T02:20:08Z")
And considering the fact that Robot Hell is actually in New Jersey… ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589/49 "2013-05-30T03:52:25Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Well, I probably buy a gun for the first time in my life, to suicide with when the American Inquisition comes to haul me away to the torture chambers. Because that’s the kind of effect I’ll expect it to have on the country; a massive, rapid, _brutal_ Christian revival. 😕 Really? Why wouldn’t you just move to a different country where the people aren’t as barbaric as Americans are? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589/50 "2013-05-30T03:54:55Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > 😕 > > Really? Why wouldn’t you just move to a different country where the people aren’t as barbaric as Americans are? They’d probably be nuked as the rabid-Christians who’d take control of America in this scenario burn the world to try to bring on the End Times and the return of Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589/51 "2013-05-30T05:54:04Z")
While kicking puppies as fast as their legs could swing. ---
**Author:** ![Reverend\_Meade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Reverend\_Meade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reverend_Meade)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589/52 "2013-05-30T06:06:13Z")
I think I’d end up a founding member of the “True Church of Satan”. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589/53 "2013-05-30T06:57:18Z")
> [@Mosier](#): > > While kicking puppies as fast as their legs could swing. Christianity has no particular animus against dogs. It does however have a long history of persecuting and killing unbelievers, and an _intense_ infatuation with the Apocalypse. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589/54 "2013-05-30T07:12:01Z")
I would ask them, “Can God create an Ewok so cute that even he can’t kick it off a cliff?” ---
**Author:** ![Reverend\_Meade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Reverend\_Meade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reverend_Meade)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589/55 "2013-05-30T07:12:39Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Christianity has no particular animus against dogs. It does however have a long history of persecuting and killing unbelievers, and an _intense_ infatuation with the Apocalypse. I have vague recollections of the Old Testament having some anti-canine sentiments. I might be wrong about that though. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589/56 "2013-05-30T08:10:28Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Christianity has no particular animus against dogs. It does however have a long history of persecuting and killing unbelievers, and an _intense_ infatuation with the Apocalypse. Sorry to have missed this conversation. I had a church service to attend, and I only just got done washing the blood out and sharpening my axe for next time. Got a quota to get through if we want Jesus to come back, and the little old ladies who make up most of our congregation can’t really manage anything deadlier than a hatpin these days, so I have to pick up the slack. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589/57 "2013-05-30T09:11:51Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Sorry to have missed this conversation. I had a church service to attend, and I only just got done washing the blood out and sharpening my axe for next time. Got a quota to get through if we want Jesus to come back, and the little old ladies who make up most of our congregation can’t really manage anything deadlier than a hatpin these days, so I have to pick up the slack. Don’t be silly; killing fellow Christians with an axe has nothing to do with the common Christian desire to immolate the world. And it’s more likely to take the form of things like bombing Muslims or supporting Israel because Christian prophecy needs it to exist and for the Jews there to be annihilated in order to trigger off the End Times than it is to take the form of private murder. Outside of killing homosexuals and doctors who perform abortions that is, but that has nothing to do with the Christian infatuation with the end of the world. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589/58 "2013-05-30T10:35:42Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Don’t be silly; killing fellow Christians with an axe has nothing to do with the common Christian desire to immolate the world. And it’s more likely to take the form of things like bombing Muslims or supporting Israel because Christian prophecy needs it to exist and for the Jews there to be annihilated in order to trigger off the End Times than it is to take the form of private murder. Outside of killing homosexuals and doctors who perform abortions that is, but that has nothing to do with the Christian infatuation with the end of the world. Don’t be silly; what made you think I was killing fellow Christians with an axe? Surely it was obvious in context that we were persecuting and killing unbelievers, like you said. We don’t all have access to bombs, but you know, we do what we can in our own little way: the “widow’s mite”, as the parable has it. We’re so short of abortion doctors around here that we have to improvise a little, and as for homosexuals, the most prominent one in our local community is also the organ-builder who renovated the rather splendid instrument in the church in the next parish over, so we voted six to five to let him live. (As an organist myself there was only one way I could vote, naturally.) ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589/59 "2013-05-30T14:18:22Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Because the hypothetical is both insane and horrifying. That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about one of my threads! _sniff_ > [@Orr\_G](#): > > I’d be hugely interested in what we could learn about where they came from and what their technology was like (which we’d have to glean from observation, since they aren’t being honest and forthcoming about that). They come from a certain horse-head shaped nebula they prefer not to name. ---
**Author:** ![Orr\_G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ee59a6/32.png) [@Orr\_G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orr_G)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2013, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589/60 "2013-05-30T14:28:47Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > They come from a certain horse-head shaped nebula they prefer not to name. Ah, dangit. I’m not ever going to be able to get any sleep until I’ve figured this one out. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christians-from-spaaaace/659589.md?page=4)