# Christmas, Jesus and God are doomed... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 11, 2015, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273 "2015-11-11T07:24:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2015, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273/41 "2015-11-13T08:40:06Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > I heard this from a friend a couple years ago…and I don’t believe it withstands the test. > > Check out Hesiod’s Works and Days, when he tells you how to know what time to plant and what time to harvest. That’s the trouble with\* the SDMB: so often one returns to a thread after a short absence only to find that an aggressively abusive slanging match has degenerated into a fascinating collaborative discussion of intriguing arcana. Oh well, I guess that’s the internet for you.\*\* - and by “trouble with” I mean “delight of” \*\* but usually not ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2015, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273/42 "2015-11-13T12:40:59Z")
> [@the\_diego](#): > > Hmmmm… I think I’d like to start a movement forcing anyone taller than me (5’6") to scrunch down to my height in public. Heightism makes me sick. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2015, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273/43 "2015-11-13T14:03:04Z")
Ridiculous! The problem is short people! Why the hell did platform shoes go out of style anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2015, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273/44 "2015-11-13T14:04:12Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > Ridiculous! The problem is short people! Why the hell did platform shoes go out of style anyway? “You got to pick them up just to say hello” ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2015, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273/45 "2015-11-13T15:25:06Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > “You got to pick them up just to say hello” They’re gonna get ya every time. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2015, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273/46 "2015-11-14T01:03:02Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > What is this ‘Christmas’ everyone is going on about? I seem to dimly recall some winter holiday by that name, but it’s all a bit fuzzy. I think it involves a rabbit who delivers colored eggs and gets crucified. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2015, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273/47 "2015-11-14T01:09:10Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > What is this ‘Christmas’ everyone is going on about? I seem to dimly recall some winter holiday by that name, but it’s all a bit fuzzy. I don’t know either, but apparently it starts the day after Halloween. Or the day after Labor Day. Starbucks sucks anyway, so whoever goes there for coffee gets what they deserve. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2015, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273/48 "2015-11-14T01:47:51Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > I think it involves a rabbit who delivers colored eggs and gets crucified. _glares_ A little SENSITIVITY here, please! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2015, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273/49 "2015-11-14T01:57:24Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > I think it involves a rabbit who delivers colored eggs and gets crucified. > [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > _glares_ > > A little SENSITIVITY here, please! I agree. It must be near impossible to color eggs without opposable thumbs. ---
**Author:** ![HubZilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ccd318/32.png) [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2015, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273/50 "2015-11-14T02:01:52Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > I think it involves a rabbit who delivers colored eggs and gets crucified. And raises from the dead after three days. If he sees his shadow, it’s 6 more weeks of winter. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2015, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273/51 "2015-11-14T02:31:09Z")
> [@the\_diego](#): > > So, could someone give me a near-correct answer as to who started this War on Christmas? Was it some Jew? Or some Puritan? Or some other Christian who just doesn’t get enough of it? The real WoXmas was started by FDR when he futzed around with Thanksgiving Day so retail could squeeze in a few extra shopping days. Anyone that wanted to, could jump it back a week and say **Hey! FDR said it’s OK!** I saw Xmas stuff before Labor Day this year. Besides, Xmas is winning the war, it’s claimed 4 months and three holidays. Eventually, it’ll be year-long. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2015, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273/52 "2015-11-14T04:51:33Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > :mad: [Not Persephone, you heretic! Saturn!](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturnalia) Saturn runs rings around Persephone. ---
**Author:** ![Hermione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cdc98d/32.png) [@Hermione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hermione)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2015, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273/53 "2015-11-14T05:06:46Z")
Talk about a storm in a teacup. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2015, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273/54 "2015-11-14T05:51:49Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Saturn runs rings around Persephone. “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a pomegranate seed, nothing will be impossible for you.” ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2015, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273/55 "2015-11-15T03:19:09Z")
There has to be a passage in the bible dealing with heathens growing too rich and uppity (or too tall.) ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273/56 "2015-11-16T05:37:04Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Where have you been? Cavorting with ISIS? The Media told you to be outraged like a week ago. Ah, well, that’s the problem then. I don’t pay any attention to the Media. ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273/57 "2015-11-16T14:34:22Z")
For your reading pleasure, a related book on Amazon: (NSFW) [Oppressed in the Butt by my Inclusive Holiday Cups](http://www.amazon.com/Oppressed-Butt-Inclusive-Holiday-Coffee-ebook/dp/B017UW5POQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1447684389&sr=8-1&keywords=holiday+cup+oppressed) Props to [fark.com](http://fark.com) for finding and circulating this gem. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273/58 "2015-11-16T14:41:06Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Heightism makes me sick. [Preserve Apartheight!](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_Africa_(The_Goodies)) ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273/59 "2015-11-16T15:00:36Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > The “War on Christmas” assholes want snowflakes, ornaments, and reindeer? I thought they hated snowflakes, ornaments, and reindeer, and demanded big bleeding Jesuses on Calvary with gouts of blood and Roman spears and all that shit. Even a creche scene pisses them off: Jesus wasn’t born for our sins; he fuckin’ died for them. > > Persephone was the reason for the season. > [@Eutychus](#): > > Yes, she was. > [@choie](#): > > I know this is the Pit and all but… I just wanted to say this was lovely., **Eutychus**. Yes, it was. And for those of you who don’t get it, read this [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=243208) I work in a store where all the holiday things are in aisle #2. We are forever taking Christmas stuff out of the Chanukah displays, but somehow Chanukah stuff doesn’t seem to find its way into the Christmas displays. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273/60 "2015-11-16T15:05:30Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > The “War on Christmas” assholes want snowflakes, ornaments, and reindeer? I thought they hated snowflakes, ornaments, and reindeer, and demanded big bleeding Jesuses on Calvary with gouts of blood and Roman spears and all that shit. Even a creche scene pisses them off: Jesus wasn’t born for our sins; he fuckin’ died for them. > > Persephone was the reason for the season. Actually, the cups should have symbols of mistletoe and a holy bull on them. Then they would be correct. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-jesus-and-god-are-doomed/737273.md?page=2)