# Christmas Mini Rants. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 20, 2008, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109 "2008-12-20T20:14:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Rack-a-Bones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rack-a-Bones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rack-a-Bones)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109/81 "2008-12-24T23:24:53Z")
> [@xanthous](#): > > Dear boyfriend’s father, > Just because you’re 80 years old doesn’t give you license to disavow every single rule of holiday gathering etiquette in the name of not giving a shit anymore: > > 1. For the love of all that’s holy, when I give you YOUR OWN bowl of snacks, that’s because none of us (and I mean _none_ of us) want you dropping food out of your mouth, mid-sentence, back into the community snack bowl, which you seem to think is there specifically for that purpose. Which brings us to… > > 2. Please don’t eat and talk at the same time. It’s really easy: chew, swallow, and _then_ talk. Half of your food ends up all over the face and shirt of the person who is trying to get the hell away from you. > > 3. PLEASE don’t start a family fight again this year. You seem to think that these functions, which conveniently have the highest body count, are your ideal platform to stir up shit, and you wonder why people don’t want you around. I have a grandma like this. We feed her a few scotch and sodas and sit her by the fire. The booze and warmth put her right to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109/82 "2008-12-24T23:29:01Z")
> [@burundi](#): > > I’ll be enjoying my own butter-fest, but thank you much for the kind thought! > > (((( **manx** and **Queen Bruin** )))) > > I’m being disgustingly non-ranty, aren’t I? Let’s see…um, it could be colder! And there could be more cookies!..Sorry, guys, I got nothing this year. Hope everyone’s Christmas turns out merry and bright despite the deserved ranting. Thanks for hugs, I needed that. Seriously, I will end up having a good time in spite of myself once the tequila kicks in. Off to make peanut brittle and sob over the fact that my Grandma isn’t around to make it for me this year. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109/83 "2008-12-25T00:08:48Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > I have been informed that, for Christmas Eve dinner, I will be baking a “birthday cake for the Baby Jesus.” > > I am accepting recipe suggestions. The exact recipe doesn’t matter. What you need to do is bake a huge cake based on that suggestion and put 2000 and something candles on it in a back room. You will have to find a way to light them all in a timely fashion but the look on everyone’s face when you bring it out leading a chorus of “Happy Birthday to You” will be remembered. ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109/84 "2008-12-25T00:45:20Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > I have been informed that, for Christmas Eve dinner, I will be baking a “birthday cake for the Baby Jesus.” > > I am accepting recipe suggestions. Gerber rice cereal. Babies can’t eat cake. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109/85 "2008-12-25T01:25:36Z")
I didn’t know until tonight that my husband’s youngest son is **living with** the woman who brought her three sons to Thanksgiving. I thought they were just BF-GF. But no. They’re living together. Which means that when son and his two daughters come over to open presents tomorrow, girlfriend and her three boys will be coming too. I have no gifts for GF & sons. Two pits: Husband for not telling me that they’re living together, and son for giving his daughters serial mommies and siblings. This one’s #4. The girls are 6 and 8. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109/86 "2008-12-25T03:09:10Z")
Ugh. Yes, I was glad to open presents with my parents to minimize the chaos at my brother’s tomorrow, with his in-laws also there it’s just too much – and the kids are more fun, anyway. However. After 40+ years I am beyond sick of my parent’s crappy routine: “oh, you’re so hard to get stuff for; give us a list”. Fine. I gave them a list. They completely ignored it. Again. Asked for cheap sweatshirts to wear to work _at a chemical plant_. Got a $70 pullover. That is not machine washable. Pointed them to my Amazon wish list – tons of books on there I’d love. Got a crappy book on how the states got their shape. WTF? I’m 40, not 4. Got the stupid John Adams miniseries, which I only told them about two dozen times over the last year that I (1) had no interes in watching, (2) had no interest in borrowing, and (3) was not going to rent it either – because I had no interest in the damn thing. Swell. And present #4? (of 3 too many, already) I’d sent them an e-mail telling them NOT to get me dress shirts. I’d argued with my dad TWICE that I didn’t want dress shirts, refused to give him my sizes because I DID NOT want dress shirts. Gee, what’s this? Ooh, yeah. Dress shirt. Fuck. So not only have they _once again_ gotten me gifts to demonstrate how little effort they’re willing to go to on my behalf, they’ve also managed to steal some of my precious time, too, since I’ll have to return this crap before the deadline passes. Oh, but gift cards would be so _thoughtless_ – even though they have no damn expiration date. And, hey, got to sit through the “oh, you’re so hard to shop for” whine again, to boot. Yipee. Merry fucking Christmas. At least tomorrow I’ll get to play with my nephews and their (fun) toys, and leave our dad blathering at my brother’s inlaws while our mom is noting things to disapprove of. God, I hate this time of year. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109/87 "2008-12-25T05:52:07Z")
Do they sell pre-grated orange peel? McCormick or whoever? Because if it’s available, I’m buying it. “One tablespoon grated orange peel.” Yeah, whatever. ---
**Author:** ![dbuzman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de0a6/32.png) [@dbuzman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dbuzman)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109/88 "2008-12-25T06:16:50Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Do they sell pre-grated orange peel? McCormick or whoever? Because if it’s available, I’m buying it. “One tablespoon grated orange peel.” Yeah, whatever. There is [this](http://stores.naturelleskin.com/-strse-13/Organic,-Fresh-Grated-Orange/Detail.bok) and [this](http://www.spiceplace.com/mccormick_orange_peel.php). ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109/89 "2008-12-25T06:23:16Z")
That’s it, then. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109/90 "2008-12-25T13:55:38Z")
Nothing says\* Merry Christmas\* like waking up, turning on the computer, & finding Malware! AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH! AND BALLS! AND FUCK!!! :mad::mad::mad::mad: ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109/91 "2008-12-25T14:08:51Z")
> [@dbuzman](#): > > There is [this](http://stores.naturelleskin.com/-strse-13/Organic,-Fresh-Grated-Orange/Detail.bok) and [this](http://www.spiceplace.com/mccormick_orange_peel.php). :eek: (But in a good way!) That is _definitely_ going on my shopping list for the next time I’m in the States. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109/92 "2008-12-25T14:29:00Z")
Look, I know that Christmas is a Northern Hemisphere tradition (there being no Christian people in the Southern Hemisphere to celebrate it until the very late 15th Century or so), but _it doesn’t snow in Australia in December!_ Most of the people I know here have never even _seen_ real snow. So can we please stop playing Christmas Carols about “White Christmases” or “Letting it Snow”, and can we further dispense with the whole Victorian image of Christmas as being a time of snow-covered rooftops and people in what passed for polar gear in the 1840s? Our family hasn’t had a hot Christmas Dinner since we moved to Australia, and cold cuts/seafood, salad, and cold beverages followed by a relaxing afternoon in the pool or asleep on the couch is a much more realistic way for people in Australia to be celebrating Christmas instead of all the stuff we keep getting on twee Christmas cards and US/UK TV shows about how it’s snowing all the freaking time and people want to get home to sit in front of the fireplace and drink eggnog and eat hot roast turkey and vegetables. Wrong season, wrong weather… ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109/93 "2008-12-25T14:37:20Z")
Last night we were all subjected to watching the home video of my Perfect SIL’s Perfect Children and their presentation of Jesus’ Birth. fuuuuuuuuuuck. Am I the only person on the planet that cannot stand watching home videos of other people? If I wasn’t there, I don’t care. If I was there, I don’t want to see it again. I spent my time texting my friends, who were in their own slice of In Law Holiday Hell. ---
**Author:** ![bufftabby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bufftabby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bufftabby)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109/94 "2008-12-25T15:26:09Z")
I’ll mini-rant at other people’s families who make the holidays stressful and unbearable for them. That sucks. I’ve never really understood family drama, and I feel bad for people who understand it all too well. The more I hear about other people’s parents, the more I like my own. Sorry if this is a little too fuzzy and warm for a rant. Grr. Fuck. Does that help? ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109/95 "2008-12-25T16:20:35Z")
Martini, why do you hate America? ::_d&r_:: Robin ---
**Author:** ![newcrasher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@newcrasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcrasher)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109/96 "2008-12-25T16:45:51Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Amen to that. > > E2: Or how about we give money to charity. And say that’s why you’re getting no presents Brother/Dad/Mum/Grandma - because I gave it to children in need. I gave my Mom a basket of chics from Heiffer Project. My stepdad was a LRRP in the 75th Infantry in 'Nam. I donated to the Wounded Warrior Foundation in his name. My church has an awesome partnership with a church in a very poor part of Costa Rica. My wife and I gave donations to them as our gift to each other. Think about it…we are celebrating the birth of Christ is a way I think Jesus would appreciate, and we avoid malls and the accompanying stress. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109/97 "2008-12-25T18:25:24Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > Last night we were all subjected to watching the home video of my Perfect SIL’s Perfect Children and their presentation of Jesus’ Birth. fuuuuuuuuuuck. > > Am I the only person on the planet that cannot stand watching home videos of other people? If I wasn’t there, I don’t care. If I was there, I don’t want to see it again. > > I spent my time texting my friends, who were in their own slice of In Law Holiday Hell. I’m sorry. I’m not apologizing for my behavior, but my husband’s. He’s growing into one of those old farts that insists on showing you every. lame. picture. he took from the last vacation. I am forbidden to delete ANYTHING he takes. I am currently hiding my MacBook from him so he doesn’t whip out our latest batch on the fambly. Also is it too early for the tequila, do you think, or am I safe with a sunrise? ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109/98 "2008-12-25T18:30:55Z")
> [@bufftabby](#): > > I’ll mini-rant at other people’s families who make the holidays stressful and unbearable for them. That sucks. I’ve never really understood family drama, and I feel bad for people who understand it all too well. The more I hear about other people’s parents, the more I like my own. Sorry if this is a little too fuzzy and warm for a rant. Grr. Fuck. Does that help? Move over. I’ve always felt bad for folks in split families. Like my husband’s. His kids are expected to visit us, their mom, in-laws if they have them, and when they were still alive, two sets of grandparents. Not to mention that alternate holiday thing – taking the kids to the ex. I know families where it takes a week to “do” Christmas. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109/99 "2008-12-25T19:43:35Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > As I cannot find food-quaility frankincense for frankincense cake, I second the devil’s food idea. I’m sure the baby Jesus would have liked chocolate. I’m sure He would have! The botanical nomenclature for the cocoa tree is _theobroma cacao_. Theobroma means “food of the gods” in Greek.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109/100 "2008-12-25T19:53:44Z")
> [@Queen\_Bruin](#): > > I’m sorry. I’m not apologizing for my behavior, but my husband’s. He’s growing into one of those old farts that insists on showing you every. lame. picture. he took from the last vacation. I am forbidden to delete ANYTHING he takes. I am currently hiding my MacBook from him so he doesn’t whip out our latest batch on the fambly. > > Also is it too early for the tequila, do you think, or am I safe with a sunrise? Though I am not a big fan of tequila, if that is all there is to help assauge the misery of the Self Absorbed Showing Off Their Precious Little Snow Flakes, then I’ll take it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-mini-rants/478109.md?page=6)