# Christmas music I can do without: 2011 edition **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 20, 2011, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536 "2011-11-20T08:33:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536/21 "2011-11-20T21:49:27Z")
Anything played over Kohl’s sound system. The stores have their own generic songs and recorded singers who cannot enunciate. If you listen to any of the lyrics, you will discover that they are all about buying gifts for Crissmuss. Ack! ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536/22 "2011-11-20T22:04:29Z")
Not that I’m a Scrooge or anything but I dislike most Christmas carols. They’re just so damn cornball. I have to laugh though when I hear my wife, who is Filipino, singing songs about snowflakes and sleigh rides. I must say the two absolute worst songs are: ``` 1. **Twelve Days of Christmas** - So damn annoying. It's enough to make you want to beat your wife and kick your dog. 2. **Silent Night** - Just watch people when they sing this song. They all get this righteous attitude like "Look at me. Ain't I so fucking holy". ``` The only Christmas songs worth a damn are the ones with _real_ soul. Like Charles Brown’s [Merry Christmas Baby](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RJJwk-Opw4), and The Drifters’ [White Christmas](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9dW6wkA-s0). ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536/23 "2011-11-20T22:14:28Z")
Christmas Shoes is terrible, that’s the only one I think I actively loathe, though there may be some others I mildly dislike which aren’t coming to mind at the moment. Most I like. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536/24 "2011-11-20T22:27:03Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > **Christmas Shoes.** [Patton Oswalt put this much better than I could.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq10bz3PxyY) When I saw this thread title, I immediately thought of \*Christmas Shoes. \*And Oswalt described it perfectly. Personally, I suspect that, instead of buying the shoes, the kid took the money and ran out to buy drugs. And _All I want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth_ . . . sung by an \*\*\*ADULT??? \*\*\*What, someone just beat the crap out of you, and you want Santa to bring you some bridgework? And then there’s \*Hard Candy Christmas \*from “Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.” One of the most depressing songs, Christmas or otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536/25 "2011-11-20T22:30:49Z")
> [@Saitou](#): > > \*\* Last Christmas \*\* it so damn pervasive, every day, all day, everywhere, radio, TV, shops. George Michael is second on my hitlist for when I get a time machine. I’ve said it here before, and I’ll say it again. This song is especially detestable because _it’s not a Christmas song_, for pity’s sake! So please stop playing it during the holiday season! ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536/26 "2011-11-21T00:28:47Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > - > > Mary’s Boy Child\* isn’t completely awful. Admittedly it needs a good dose of seasonal cheer to appreciate it. I heard Bony M, Mary’s Boy Child, years ago trapped in a traffic jam outside the mall and it was one of the most beautiful songs I ever heard. I never forgot it and thanks to the internet also many years later I found out who sang it. Bought it and every year I could just weep with joy, I love it so much. So there. (their disco songs suck, though). You know…I don’t think I’ve ever heard Christmas Shoes, not knowingly. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536/27 "2011-11-21T02:37:33Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > You know…I don’t think I’ve ever heard Christmas Shoes, not knowingly. Same here. And from all the hatred it gets on this board every year I hope to remain as lucky. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536/28 "2011-11-21T03:18:54Z")
Since Christmas Shoes was already hit, I have to mention, “I’ll Be Home for Christmas.” It’s depressing. People keep forgetting about the line, “If only in my dreams.” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536/29 "2011-11-21T03:24:41Z")
“The Little Drummer Boy” is especially hated by anyone who has sung Bass in a chorus. The Bass part usually consists of 3 minutes of “BUM-pa-pa BUM-pa-pa BUM-pa-pa . . . .” ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536/30 "2011-11-21T03:24:57Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Since Christmas Shoes was already hit, I have to mention, “I’ll Be Home for Christmas.” It’s depressing. People keep forgetting about the line, “If only in my dreams.” And, “Through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow.” it makes me think of my parents, both of whom died young. ---
**Author:** ![Yodalicious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yodalicious/32/8195_2.png) [@Yodalicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yodalicious)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536/31 "2011-11-21T03:37:25Z")
Not a Christmas song, but I could go without hearing any version of Adam Sandler’s Chanukah song. It’s just not funny anymore. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536/32 "2011-11-21T03:37:40Z")
Burl Ives might be an OK singer decades ago, but i don’t look forward to tv commercials and the clip of Have a Holly Jolly Christmas. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536/33 "2011-11-21T03:50:41Z")
I could deal with the god damned hippopotamus song if I never had to hear those two drunks out out tune, each apparently singing their own version of the song that has nothing to with the other and what sounds like is in two different keys…Baby It’s Cold Outside. That song can go take a flying leap. I have no idea which version is the ‘normal’ one that gets all the air play during this season, but, to be honest, I don’t really care for any version. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536/34 "2011-11-21T03:58:38Z")
> [@Peanuthead](#): > > ``` > 1. **Twelve Days of Christmas** - So damn annoying. It's enough to make you want to beat your wife and kick your dog. > > ``` From my office at work, I can usually only hear specific part of songs due to the acoustics of the workplace. That typically means that if a song has a repeating part, that’s what I’ll hear. If that repeating part is annoying, it’ll quickly get on my nerves, especially if it’s a top forty song that’s on all the time. For example, from my office, I hear “You mean everything tonight” The whistling part from some Brittney song. The Jamaican part from an old No Doubt song. “MooOOoo” in “Move like Jagger” 12 Days of Christmas doesn’t really bother me. We’re so busy, I can’t really hear the radio during Christmas season. What really pisses me off is hearing “FIVE GOLDEN RINGS” being belted out by Miss Piggy every few seconds how ever many times she says it…then hearing it again when they play the song 20 minutes later. I think that song would be truly better if she only belted it out like that the last time it comes up. Otherwise it loses it’s novelty so quickly and then it’s just annoying. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536/35 "2011-11-21T04:06:26Z")
I can only assume that my failure to mention **Wonderful Christnastime** in the OP is because I blocked it from my memory. My main issue with **Ill Be Home For Christmas** is this one lyric… _Christmas Eve will find me Where the lumph blah bleeems_ I have no idea what the lyric is supposed to be and I’ve NEVER head anyone sing it in a manner so I can understand it. My theory is nobodyy ELSE knows what the line is either and is simply mumbling through it. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536/36 "2011-11-21T04:09:50Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > I can only assume that my failure to mention **Wonderful Christnastime** in the OP is because I blocked it from my memory. > > My main issue with **Ill Be Home For Christmas** is this one lyric… > > _Christmas Eve will find me > Where the lumph blah bleeems_ > > I have no idea what the lyric is supposed to be and I’ve NEVER head anyone sing it in a manner so I can understand it. My theory is nobodyy ELSE knows what the line is either and is simply mumbling through it. [From here.](http://www.41051.com/xmaslyrics/illbehome.html) > [@](#): > > Christmas Eve will find me > Where the lovelight gleams > I’ll be home for Christmas > If only in my dreams ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536/37 "2011-11-21T04:45:48Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ll see your list and raise you a _My Favorite Things_, a song whose tie to Christmas I’ve never understood. > [@Chronos](#): > > Warm woolen mittens, wrapped packages, and snowflakes. Yeah, it’s not really all that much of a connection. I happen to like the song, though, so I don’t mind too much. Especially considering that the wrapped packages are in brown paper. _(I’ll Have A Drab Christmas With You)_. Every time I hear the Harry Simeone Choir singing, I call it _The Little Finger Cymbals Boy_… And in the tooting-my-own-horn file, [I wrote an Amazon review!](http://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Michael-Bubl%C3%A9/product-reviews/B005H0IW6W/ref=cm_cr_dp_synop?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending#RCNI69TRB2ROL) Fair warning: in contrast to the tenor of this thread, it is NOT 100% negative. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536/38 "2011-11-21T04:47:53Z")
I’ve heard there’s a thing called Google that can find out lyrics. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536/39 "2011-11-21T05:09:05Z")
Ugh. 38 posts and nobody’s mentioned “Jingle Bell Rock”? Let me remedy that. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536/40 "2011-11-21T05:13:30Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > **Christmas in the Northwest.** I _loathe_ this song. I wish there was a song about Christmas in my adopted homeland of the PNW that I could enjoy, but this song is the musical equivalent of a Thomas Kinkade painting - overwrought, overproduced, clumsily written, cliche, banal, kitschy, glurgey, overemotional to the point of being emotionless, annoying **DRECK.** If God could hear this song, He’d say “Christmas in the northwest might be a gift I wrapped in green, but this song is the work of Satan himself.” It’s like the fruitcake of Christmas music. It’s a horrible, horrible song, but it doesn’t feel like Christmastime until I’ve frantically changed the station away from that song at least once. Jokey Christmas songs. Especially parodies of the 12 days of Christmas. The parodists are not as clever as they think they are and the songs never, ever end. Feliz Navidad, the lyricist crapped out 15 seconds in and the song continues for another 25 minutes. It’s horrible. Songs that have been poorly repurposed for Christmas because someone isn’t really paying close attention to the lyrics. “Hard Candy Christmas,” “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” and “My Favorite Things” are perfectly lovely songs in context. They aren’t supposed to be Christmas songs. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-music-i-can-do-without-2011-edition/603536.md?page=3)