# Christmas songs - so many questions **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [December 23, 2025, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994 "2025-12-23T22:03:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2025, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/61 "2025-12-25T17:05:39Z")
**Christmas in Killarney -** Given the average December temperature in County Kerry, why is the door always open? (We used to sing “The door is always open, / The robbers pay a call…”) ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2025, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/62 "2025-12-25T17:18:42Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > “Oh, you like me now, Fat-Man? Please see the Mistletoe hangin’ off my tail, Bitch!” 😂 Especially if he’s that bastard in the Rankin-Bass _Rudolph._ I watched that when I was 6 or 7, and after Evil Santa bullies Rudolph a few times, I turned to my parents and said “goyisher kop.” I had no idea what it meant-- I just knew it was an insult, but damn, did it make my parents laugh! > [@Reeses\_Monkey](#): > > Here’s [Miss Piggy with Rudolf Nureyev](https://youtu.be/xAuYVsokC5o?si=ykCgIvGDlF0CuXWK) No worries-- he probably really did invite her up to see his etchings. > [@HeyHomie](#): > > Why on Earth would Parson Brown be at all interested in whether or not two children/teens are married? He’s looking to pick up extra cash around the holiday? ---
**Author:** ![themapleleaf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/themapleleaf/32/14349_2.png) [@themapleleaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/themapleleaf)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2025, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/63 "2025-12-25T17:29:42Z")
[quote][HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heyhomie) Charter Member [1h](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/51) **Winter Wonderland** Why on Earth would Parson Brown be at all interested in whether or not two children/teens are married? Unless they’re really laying it on with the PDA or something, which, did that happen in the 1930s? [/quote] I always imagined the song being about a young WWII-era couple in their 20, something like the couple in the third black and white photo [on this page](https://www.vintageinn.ca/2016/01/brrrr-cold-outside-vintage-winter-images/), but in a more rustic setting. Their making a snowman to caricature Parson Brown and his curiosity as to whether they’re married is probably a light-hearted take on the same social mores about couples dating that informed “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2025, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/64 "2025-12-25T17:47:28Z")
> [@Author\_Balk](#): > > What did the Hall family do that makes people want to deck them? You’d be pissed, too, if some asshole convinced you to trade a new bedroom set and all you got was a goat. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2025, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/65 "2025-12-25T19:09:39Z")
Let’s not forget the classic _“Grandma got run over by a reindeer”_ Just so disturbing. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2025, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/66 "2025-12-25T22:10:19Z")
> [@Reeses\_Monkey](#): > > As always, the Muppets did it best. Here’s [Miss Piggy with Rudolf Nureyev](https://youtu.be/xAuYVsokC5o?si=ykCgIvGDlF0CuXWK) …I’m seeing a video on how to reprogram a car remote. > [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > For true Chicagoans. That aired in the Pittsburgh area, too. > [@HeyHomie](#): > > **Winter Wonderland** > > Why on Earth would Parson Brown be at all interested in whether or not two children/teens are married? What makes you think they’re teens? OK, here’s another one: In “I’ll Be Home for Christmas”, why presents on the tree? Who does that? Especially since the perfectly reasonable “under” would scan better in the song, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Reeses\_Monkey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reeses_monkey/32/2885_2.png) [@Reeses\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeses_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2025, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/67 "2025-12-25T22:35:05Z")
That dratted YouTube link! For some reason no matter what I send, it ends up being that keyfob video. I sent a clip from the Muppet Show with Miss Piggy singing to Nureyev in a steam room. ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2025, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/68 "2025-12-26T02:19:30Z")
This is a great thread, and this really doesn’t fit here, but I saw it earlier, and it made me laugh. Mariah Carey singing, I Don’t Want A lot for Christmas, and then singing “All I want for Christmas is you.” That’s such a burn. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2025, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/69 "2025-12-26T02:33:06Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Let’s not forget the classic _“Grandma got run over by a reindeer”_ Its years on but we never got any answers - - Did they open up her presents or send them back? - Did the po-po gather enough evidence to bring charges for hit & run. - How’s Grandpa now? Still mourning? Dating? Remarried? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2025, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/70 "2025-12-26T02:36:56Z")
> [@HeyHomie](#): > > **Winter Wonderland** > > Why on Earth would Parson Brown be at all interested in whether or not two children/teens are married? We’re recording tonight, so we have to leave that verse out. You can probably guess though. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2025, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/71 "2025-12-26T02:54:37Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > **Little Drummer Boy** - Mary, exhausted from giving birth, finally gets Jesus down. Was she really nodding affirmation when the kid asks her if she wanted a _drum solo_ or was she really nodding off? 🎶Mary nodded pa rum pa pa pum It was a secret sign pa rum pa pa pum So Joseph took me from the barn pa rum pa pa pum To lead me out behind pa rum pa pa pa pum, rum pa pa pum, rum pa pa pum And fed me my drum 🎶 ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2025, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/72 "2025-12-26T03:20:24Z")
**Winter Wonderland** - Later on, we’ll conspire… about what? Are you planning a crime? Of course, it’s just a lazy rhyme for fire. **We Three Kings** - How do you follow a star? In the northern hemisphere, only Polaris appears in one position where you could use it as a direction to travel towards. Stars, planets, and comets would all appear to rise and set as the earth rotates so at what point at night do you head toward the star and at what point do you know to stop traveling? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2025, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/73 "2025-12-26T10:12:37Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > **Little Drummer Boy** - Mary, exhausted from giving birth, finally gets Jesus down. Was she really nodding affirmation when the kid asks her if she wanted a _drum solo_ or was she really nodding off? My rewrite of the final verse (fill in the pah-rumpa-pums yourself. My thumbs are tired) Mary nodded * * * It was a secret sign * * * Then Joseph took my arm * * * He led me from the barn - \*\* \* \*, \*\* \* \*, \*\* \* \* Then he smiled at me * * * And fed me my drum (right up my bum) ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2025, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/74 "2025-12-26T10:24:06Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > **Do You Hear What I Hear?** – if a child, a child, shivers in the cold, you suggest bringing him silver and gold?? Why don’t you bring him, I don’t know, _a blanket_? Also, I can picture the mighty king saying “what do you mean, let _us_ bring him silver and gold? You got any silver and gold on ya? “Tell you what, why don’t you sell me that talking lamb for some silver and gold, then you can bring it to him yourself. ‘Cuz you’re right about my palace being warm, and going out in the cold to see a baby? I’m just not feeling it.” > [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > **It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas -** Which parents were far enough ahead of the curve to have a daughter named “Jen” in 1951? I always sing it as _A doll that’ll talk and’ll go for a walk/is the hope of Janice and Ken._ _And mom and dad are looking into therapy for Ken_ ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2025, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/75 "2025-12-26T14:58:05Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > **Winter Wonderland** - Later on, we’ll conspire… about what? Are you planning a crime? Of course, it’s just a lazy rhyme for fire. The alternative version makes even _more_ sense in the cold winter weather; just staying warm & comfy, yanno - 🎶 _Walking in our winter underwear_ 🎶 ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2025, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/76 "2025-12-26T15:07:03Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > **Winter Wonderland** - Later on, we’ll conspire… about what? Are you planning a crime? Of course, it’s just a lazy rhyme for fire. And they’re conspiring to follow through with their plans. So what were the plans themselves, then? Lazy lyrics all the way down. > [@BobLibDem](#): > > **We Three Kings** - How do you follow a star? In the northern hemisphere, only Polaris appears in one position where you could use it as a direction to travel towards. Stars, planets, and comets would all appear to rise and set as the earth rotates so at what point at night do you head toward the star and at what point do you know to stop traveling? Maps and written directions don’t move, either, but people have no problems following those. You read the astrological significance of the star (or arrangement of stars), and deduce the location from that. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2025, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/77 "2025-12-26T17:21:55Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I think I may have been concerned that the reindeer were playing the same silly games the unicorns played with Noah. 😬 Well, we can be pretty sure that was Hide ‘N’ Seek… with the unicorns absolute masters of the game. . > [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Regardless, cold precious metal is a _terrible_ gift for a shivering newborn. 😉 Could be worse, like Myrrh… ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2025, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/78 "2025-12-26T17:27:32Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > **Winter Wonderland** - Later on, we’ll conspire… about what? Are you planning a crime? Of course, it’s just a lazy rhyme for fire. How about “Later on, we’ll perspire, cause we put one two many logs on the fire.” ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2025, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/79 "2025-12-26T17:29:40Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > **Winter Wonderland** - Later on, we’ll conspire… about what? Are you planning a crime? Of course, it’s just a lazy rhyme for fire. My guess is they’re conspiring to do a bit of premarital hanky panky. Parson Brown will marry them when he’s in town. They’ll get in the mood by the fire so they can get over their fear of sinful sex outside of marriage. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2025, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/christmas-songs-so-many-questions/1025994/80 "2025-12-26T17:33:56Z")
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