Hilarious rant against Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime”
conspire, not perspire
Actually, it’s Is-RAH-el.
Dammit.
I’ve held a bit of a grudge against Away in A Manger for the past 55 years or so. And not only because they set it to two different and incompatible melodies. No, my gripe against Away in a Manger is about the passive-aggressive implied judgementalism that I felt was directed right at ME in verse 2.
The cattle are lowing, the poor baby wakes,
But Little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes.
Gosh, little six-year old kaylasdad99, YOU sure weren’t that way when YOU were a baby. The slightest little sound woke you right up and you caterwauled so much that NO ONE could get any sleep! Why couldn’t you have been more like the Little Lord Jesus? He was the Son of God, you know. It must have been nice to have the Son of God for a baby. Of course, I wouldn’t know. I had YOU!
Goddamned Little Lord Jesus. Who asked HIM to show up?
2 pages in and we haven’t touched on the worst song of them all “Most Wonderful Time of the Year?”
Not only is “hap-happiest seeeeaaaassson of aaaaallll” the most annoying thing on Earth because of the damn “hap-happy” but “mistletoeing” Mistletoe is a noun, not a verb!
The ending of “Winter Wonderland,” by Connie Francis, makes me want to jump in front of a bus.
I’ve always wondered this too. My theories are: 1) The Sound of Music was often shown on TV around Christmas so people associate the songs with the holiday. 2) Music executives and artists looking to cash in on easy Christmas recordings kept looking for songs that weren’t done to death and decided to co-opt My Favorite Things since it had some generally winter-y lyrics.
I lean toward #2
Actually no. Everywhere else in the English speaking world it is Is-ray-el.
I thought “adult” was a noun but it seems to have become a verb. What a time to be alive.
I pronounce it Is-ree-uhl. But Is-rye-ell for the song.
No. It is a tiny shopping “mall” with a couple good restaurants and a couple nice places to shop, easy-on, easy-off the 101.
I always wondered what a “wholly infanso” meant, too.
Sleeping in a bed of heavenly peas. mmmmm…peas.
It appears that a lounge singer named Jack Jones (Red Roses For A Blue Lady, Wives and Lovers, Theme from “The Love Boat”) was making a Christmas album (called, believe it or not, The Jack Jones Christmas Album), and some joker thought that song, with jingle bells jingling in the background would perfectly fit the mood.
So blame him.
ETA (interestingly, this was released the year before the motion picture version of TSoM)
This is one of my pet peeves: “Christmas songs” on the radio that are really just “songs that mention Christmas”. “Same Old Lang Syne” is the one that really grates on my nerves for this reason.
Worts version of the song ever recorded…which pains me to say…I’m a Beach Boys fan.
Yes, a lot of “Christmas” songs are really just winter songs.
Which makes me wonder why it’s taken so long for Gordon Lightfoot’s “Song for a Winter’s Night” to make it into the radio rotation.
So to answer my own question, Santa Claus Lane is quite some distance from the Bunny Trail.
On the Bob Rivers album of Christmas Song parodies, I am Santa Claus, there’s a parody of Winter Wonderland entitled “Walkin’ round in Women’s Underwear” that changes this line to “…and pretend that he is Murphy Brown”. which shows you how old that album is.
Me too!
I’ve always wondered why Parson Brown was concerned about whether or not the kids were married. Did clergy in his day, on seeing teenagers (or young adults, or old adults) frolicking about, interrogate them about their marital status?