# Chronos this is a ridiculous mod note **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [October 30, 2022, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050 "2022-10-30T23:37:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/121 "2022-10-31T12:40:06Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > But when it comes to things like Emails or texts; the reader sets the tone. I’ve heard this from two separate councilors and a HR rep giving a class on sensitivity. And they are right. I can see this being a useful bellwether in cases where offense is taken at potentially innocuous stuff - to consider whether the reader is applying a tone that doesn’t exist. But as a universal rule, it would be the literal definition of victim blaming. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/122 "2022-10-31T12:45:00Z")
I’ll go with the educated professional’s opinion on this. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/123 "2022-10-31T12:47:13Z")
Maybe you could favor us with a cite? ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/124 "2022-10-31T12:49:00Z")
Do you think your mother wouldn’t have noticed if she went there with the question in her head, “IS this a restaurant that attracts customers more with the bodies of the servers than with the food?” Because that seems like a much more stringent test than just, “would she notice if she went there to eat?” Despite the extreme rhetoric in this thread, i don’t think this is a huge deal, fwiw. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/125 "2022-10-31T12:50:36Z")
That’s a valid point I had not considered. I suppose so. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/126 "2022-10-31T13:43:09Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > > [@Banquet\_Bear](#): > > > > You seem to be misunderstanding what it was that I’m saying. These boards can be unwelcoming without anyone getting upset. Casual misogyny and transphobia is more than enough for people to look at and go “these boards aren’t for me.” > > In other words you have no evidence but you can speculate. > [@Banquet\_Bear](#): > > …I’m evidence. And some of us were ready to walk away from the board if **Starving Artist** didn’t get banned. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/127 "2022-10-31T14:28:10Z")
> [@Johnny\_Bravo](#): > > This seems to fall neatly into “shit I wouldn’t say at a dinner party in front of people I’d just meant.” Both words bring to mind nothing but dudes elbowing each other and giving not-so-sly winks. Breastaurant. Get it? 'Cause it’s a a restaurant with breasts? > > And then some other guy chimes in with, “YEAH IT’S A BOOB-DINNER” and everyone gets uncomfortable because it’s not even clever. It’s just some guy who thinks he had an excuse to say BOOBS really loud. Probably the same guy who thinks it’s funny to ask women at bars whether they like [great tits.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_tit) > [@Johnny\_Bravo](#): > > I can see this being a useful bellwether in cases where offense is taken at potentially innocuous stuff - to consider whether the reader is applying a tone that doesn’t exist. But as a universal rule, it would be the literal definition of victim blaming. This is hilarious but whether you can see why I don’t know. When @Grrr first said “it’s the reader not the writer that sets the tone” I was pretty dubious. But your real live apparently oblivious demonstration of why he might just be right is really pretty funny. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/128 "2022-10-31T15:08:50Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > But your real live apparently oblivious demonstration of why he might just be right is really pretty funny. I see where you’re coming from - and saw it when I made that post - but I don’t consider Grrr’s language in the linked thread to be at all innocuous. Writers set a tone. Readers interpret it. I’ve never heard anything to the contrary. It’s certainly possible for readers to make incorrect or unsubstantiated interpretations! But I don’t think that happened here. I did do a bit of searching on the topic, but there are too many sites about appropriate language in the workplace to filter anything as specific as that. In any event, I find the concept interesting and will probably start an alternate thread to discuss it without a hijack. ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/129 "2022-10-31T15:19:18Z")
For what it is worth I, a white, middle aged man, think it was not a ridiculous mod note. As per usual this should settle the matter. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/130 "2022-10-31T19:06:23Z")
Chronos was right , this called for a note. Not a warning, of course. And SDMBers- it is a freaken **NOTE**. It is not big deal. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2022, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/131 "2022-10-31T19:14:21Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > And SDMBers- it is a freaken **NOTE**. It is not big deal. Truth. I think it’s a good demonstration of why bright line rules don’t work as well. In the context of the thread the language was disruptive. In another thread, even in the same category, it might not have been. Like, take two MPSIMS threads. One is talking about the passing of a community member. The other is talking about silly-looking cat pictures. A crude joke would be horrific in the former thread but might be welcomed in the latter thread. A mod note chastising someone about the crude joke when people are mourning the loss of an online friend would be warranted but that doesn’t mean it should also be moderated in the other one. And again, it’s just a note. I’ve gotten notes before. I try to avoid them but when I get one, I say sorry and move on. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2022, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/132 "2022-11-01T00:30:16Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > In the context of the thread the language was disruptive. Good point. The thread turned into a trainwreck in which, ummm, no one commented on the post. Oh, except one. The mod. We don’t even fact around here any more, do we? ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2022, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/133 "2022-11-01T00:53:25Z")
My concern is not that Grrr was sanctioned with a mod note. I’m sure he’ll survive. My concern is that mod notes effectively set the rules. Someone please let me know when we get down to the point where I can’t use the term “legs” and must say “limbs”. I’m too crass to get the memo. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2022, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/134 "2022-11-01T01:08:39Z")
I could maybe defend “this is unnecessarily rowdy for FQ, let’s dial it back a notch.” Maybe, if I had to. However I absolutely despise the finger-wagging, pearl-clutching “I don’t like your tone, mister, do better in the future.” This isn’t the first note or mod we’ve seen this from lately, either. We have a few folks who seem to enjoy tone-scolding a bit too much. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2022, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/135 "2022-11-01T02:38:14Z")
Keep saying “pearl-clutching” and they are _sure_ to see your side of things. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2022, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/136 "2022-11-01T09:49:26Z")
Keep policing tone and someone’s sure to see your side of things. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2022, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/137 "2022-11-01T10:24:27Z")
If you do be please tag me. Sounds like an interesting topic. ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2022, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/138 "2022-11-01T13:29:13Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > Keep policing tone and someone’s sure to see your side of things. The mods already do, which seems like a win to me, but you keep doing you. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2022, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/139 "2022-11-01T13:30:45Z")
> [@naita](#): > > > [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > > > Keep policing tone and someone’s sure to see your side of things. > > The mods already do @TubaDiva’s mantra practically since Day 1: > [@Time for a TMI Forum?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-a-tmi-forum/191984/16): > > “Let’s raise the tone of the board.” ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2022, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/140 "2022-11-01T13:41:04Z")
> [@naita](#): > > The mods already do, which seems like a win to me it IS a win and they deserve our thanks for all the time they put in. it’s not like they get paid for it! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050.md?page=8)