# Chuck Norris eternal brainless unfunny gags **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 27, 2026, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801 "2026-03-27T02:24:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DKW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dkw/32/3118_2.png) [@DKW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DKW)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801/1 "2026-03-27T02:24:03Z")
First off, I’d like to state that I don’t have any real opinion of the man. I was never a big fan of martial arts movies to begin with, and I never watched Walker: Texas Ranger. Yeah, he was MAGA, but we have millions of those fuckers and I haven’t heard that he did anything particularly damaging. As far as I know, he’s just another lovable lummox who had his moment in the 80’s. [Here’s the link.](https://www.amazon.com/Official-Chuck-Norris-Fact-Book/dp/1414334494?s=books&sr=1-1) Check out the date. 2009. It’s been 17 years, and I’m guessing a lot of the source material dates from much earlier. 17 years to repeat, and repeat, _and repeat and repeat and repeat_ **the same goddam zero-effort unfunny joke.** Seriously, “we’re continually tongue-bathing pretending this guy is God” is supposed to have any humor value? (And to those who say that he was fine with it: Well, **of course** an actor whose best days are behind him is happy for the free publicity, what did you fucking _expect?_) There has been no pushback. Zero. None. No effort by any party, anywhere, to stamp out this fucking plague of worthless unfunny _bullshit._ No warnings, no deletions, no bans. Not even the obligatory “All right, we get it, could we have some fresh material, please?” I recall when that six-seven or whatever bullshit began. The blowback was immediate. There was a time when that “Don’t read this! Oh no, you read it, now you’ll have to forward this to a bunch of people or you’ll diiiiieee!” flaming bullshit was rampant on YouTube; they cracked down on it _hard._ Randomly inserting Justin Bieber into every goddam conversation got the same fate. Not the Chuck Norris Facts, ever. Or rather, the **one** joke with **an ever-growing shitpile of equally unfunny takes.** And yes, there have been numerous unfunny bullshit Internet gags in the past, but the were _all_ finite. Remember “All your base are belong to us”? That actually made it on a street sign. Long gone. The LOLCats and their supposedly wacky sayings, “I can haz cheezburger”. “I took an arrow to the knee.” That dissolving-into-particles foolishness. Tide pod eating. The Ice Bucket Challenge. Fake Adolf Hitler subtitles. All gone. Hell, I don’t even remember the last time I saw “Pepperidge Farm remembers”. Chuck Norris Facts is the one worthless gag that’s allowed to go on and on and on and on, months, years, _decades_ past when it became totally played out. Good goddesses, there are _two_ threads spewing this shit in MPSIMS. **Two!** Hey, you know what this reminds me of? Cecil Adams. C’mon, you remember! That mysterious phantom of whom nobody had a picture, video, birthdate, address, or ANY OTHER FUCKING PHYSICAL EVIDENCE OF WHATSOEVER…shit, “he” could’ve been an AI program for all I knew…yet everyone knew someone who knew someone who met him in the flesh, and he was 100% real and this brilliant super genius and his word was to be taken over everyone else’s. This was a site dedicated to reason and intelligent discussion, and we were **all** supposed to buy into this **zero evidence fairy tale** on **faith**. Goddesses, I swear there were inanimate objects who had their intelligence insulted. By far the absolute nadir was the clash against Marylin Von Savant over the Monty Hall problem (in which you’ll remember that Cecil, whatever the fuck “he” is, attempted to refute her by _inventing facts not present in the problem_), a bright, engaging woman with knowledge in a variety of fields, and, more critically, _evidence that she actually fucking exists,_ and numerous posters here sided with Cecil. Never mind how utterly ridiculous that sounds, never mind who’s _right_ here, the important thing is to _keep kayfabe!_ So inevitably Chuck Norris goes the way of all flesh, [we cover it,](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-hospitalized-19-march-2026-died-20-march-2026/1028578/8) and guess what? The same moronic, tired jokes, like clockwork! Geez, I swear some of the respondents couldn’t bang them out fast enough! And that’s what’s giving me a very real fear that this is _never_ completely going away, that some people are _so_ utterly wedded to keeping this humor suck going forever that it’s become as integral to them as breathing. You know, when Hugh Hefner passed, I remember _some_ discussion about sexism and mistreated workers; it wasn’t _just_ pretending that the magazine never had any articles for a hundred posts! Seriously, is _this_ why we can’t have nice things? That any time there’s the tiniest whiff of alternative energy, health care reform, campaign finance reform, fairer tax structures, improving Internet security, restoring the social safety net, and not basing social structures like marriage and family on 2000-year-old cockamamie drivel, it gets completely shot down in a screaming panic? We’re so committed to keeping doing the same moronic things in the same moronic ways over and over that improving anything is impossible? Fucking book…fucking Internet… ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801/2 "2026-03-27T02:33:59Z")
Someone get this guy a fresh bowl of Cheerios. Hold the pee. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801/3 "2026-03-27T02:42:25Z")
Yeah, no kidding. It sure sounds like they’re pissed because we didn’t go all in on decrying old Chuck as a MAGA asshole and not making it a political moment. Instead, we made the same old silly Chuck Norris jokes that were from at least 24 years ago. I don’t see the problem, honestly. It’s not like the board doesn’t _ **constantly** _ talk about “_alternative energy, health care reform, campaign finance reform, fairer tax structures, improving Internet security, restoring the social safety net, and not basing social structures like marriage and family on 2000-year-old cockamamie drivel._” And we gave it a rest for once to just revel in the silliness of the Chuck Norris jokes. You know, people aren’t wholly defined by their political views. That’s something I think is a problem today on both sides; this idea that if someone’s a liberal, they’re untrustworthy and somehow mush-headed and dangerous. Or that if they’re Republican/MAGA, that they’re immediately a consciously racist asshole who is too stupid to wipe their ass for themselves/walk and chew gum/etc. This country isn’t going to get better until we get past this hyper-partisanship and demands that everyone choose sides as if the other side is the enemy. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801/4 "2026-03-27T02:48:13Z")
Epic rant. Stupid topic. Next! ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801/5 "2026-03-27T02:51:49Z")
I agree with the OP. Once I heard the news about Norris, I knew I’d have to grimace or ignore the jokes for a week or two. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801/6 "2026-03-27T03:01:34Z")
> [@DKW](#): > > Hell, I don’t even remember the last time I saw “Pepperidge Farm remembers”. Pepperidge Farm remembers. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801/7 "2026-03-27T03:58:18Z")
I am a lifelong never-Trumper, and atheist. But I love the Chuck Norris jokes. I always considered them _jokes_. I was laughing at the people who would say, “Yes! YES!” Kind of like laughing at people back in the 70s who thought professional wrestling was on the up and up. My original contribution: MAN FEARS TIME - Greek proverb TIME FEARS THE PYRAMIDS - Arabic proverb **The pyramids fear Chuck Norris.** (That last line spoken in that quiet voice). ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801/8 "2026-03-27T13:33:35Z")
I find them hit-or-miss. Some are lame, some are forced, some are awkward. Some get repeated so much they’ve gotten tiresome. But I think some of them are funny, or at least mildly amusing. ---
**Author:** ![DeadTreasSecretaries](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/deadtreassecretaries/32/4817_2.png) [@DeadTreasSecretaries](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadTreasSecretaries)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801/9 "2026-03-27T13:47:50Z")
> [@DKW](#): > > health care reform Well we could have tried curing cancer using Chuck Norris’s tears. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801/10 "2026-03-27T14:22:11Z")
What I find hilarious is that AI made a Chuck Norris joke. In the reports of his death, there was a qoute stating “doctors expect him to recover” attributed to AI. ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801/11 "2026-03-27T15:17:16Z")
Oh a chuck norris joke thread! I was wondering if we had one of those.. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist When Chuck Norris slices onions, the onions cry. 😉 seriously though it’s not the funniest meme in Internet history, it also not the least funny either. It’s a classic of the early internet (I’d put it above “all your base are belong to us”). Yeah he’s a washed out conservative\* action movie star, that’s what makes it funny. ‘\*’ I had no actual evidence he was super conservative before he died, but I always assumed he was. ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801/12 "2026-03-27T15:29:35Z")
> [@DKW](#): > > Chuck Norris Facts is the one worthless gag that’s allowed to go on and on and on and on, months, years, _decades_ past when it became totally played out. What internet have you been on? Chuck Norris jokes have been fading for years now. Prior to his death, I can’t remember the last time I heard one. Yeah, we’re in a spike because he died but it’ll fade even faster. > **[Explore - Google Trends](https://trends.google.com/explore?q=Chuck%2520Norris%2520Jokes&date=all&geo=US)** > > Explore what the world is searching for on Google Trends ---
**Author:** ![Sylvanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sylvanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylvanz)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801/13 "2026-03-27T15:42:08Z")
I quite literally laughed out loud. ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801/14 "2026-03-27T15:42:55Z")
> [@AlsoNamedBort](#): > > What internet have you been on? Chuck Norris jokes have been fading for years now. Prior to his death, I can’t remember the last time I heard one Yeah its definitely “Chuck Norris died. Hey remember Chuck Norris jokes back in the day? Good times!” ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801/15 "2026-03-27T15:45:04Z")
> [@DeadTreasSecretaries](#): > > Well we could have tried curing cancer using Chuck Norris’s tears. It wasn’t cancer that killed Chuck Norris. It was the coffin. ![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/YzHtePuz13U/maxresdefault.jpg)https://www.youtube.com/embed/YzHtePuz13U?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque&list=RDYzHtePuz13U ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801/16 "2026-03-27T18:01:10Z")
We can only hope Rick Astley outlives us all. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801/17 "2026-03-27T19:40:54Z")
Just wait until Yakov Smirnoff dies and we’ll have nothing but ‘In Soviet Russia…’ jokes for the next two weeks. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801/18 "2026-03-27T22:12:51Z")
> [@DeadTreasSecretaries](#): > > Well we could have tried curing cancer using Chuck Norris’s tears. Except Chuck Norris never cried. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2026, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801/19 "2026-03-28T03:34:57Z")
I never could figure the Chuck Norris thing out. I always thought he was too uninteresting to be so famous. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2026, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801/20 "2026-03-28T04:35:52Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > I always thought he was too uninteresting to be so famous. Like those Panama Canal jokes… _“Fucking dig all you want, I’ll just go around, Bitch!”_ I have no cite [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris-eternal-brainless-unfunny-gags/1028801.md?page=2)