# Chuck Norris **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 26, 2016, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264 "2016-01-26T14:18:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Donnerwetter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Donnerwetter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Donnerwetter)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264/1 "2016-01-26T14:18:40Z")
_Chuck Norris once threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people…then it exploded_ ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264/2 "2016-01-26T14:28:29Z")
Wow. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264/3 "2016-01-26T14:35:04Z")
[The home of Norris.](http://nebula.wsimg.com/501545cd9462f964e65d984e983b5f70?AccessKeyId=D80D5D382923E0FC38D5&disposition=0&alloworigin=1) ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264/4 "2016-01-26T14:45:26Z")
Chuck Norris couldn’t beat The Crazy… ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264/5 "2016-01-26T15:02:50Z")
Duck Norris is the mascot for Vanbrugh College, University of York. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264/6 "2016-01-26T16:48:13Z")
Bruce Lee beat the crap out of Chuck Norris. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264/7 "2016-01-26T17:08:07Z")
> [@The\_Hamster\_King](#): > > Bruce Lee beat the crap out of Chuck Norris. You know why there are so many Chuck Norris jokes and no Bruce Lee jokes? Because Bruce Lee is no joke. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264/8 "2016-01-26T17:28:03Z")
A Chuck Norris joke once killed 50 people. ---
**Author:** ![Donnerwetter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Donnerwetter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Donnerwetter)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264/9 "2016-01-26T17:31:19Z")
_Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants._ ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264/10 "2016-01-26T17:37:33Z")
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris Reality is a figment of Chuck Norris’s imagination ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264/11 "2016-01-26T17:41:37Z")
There are more Chuck Norris facts than there are subatomic particles in the universe. Chuck Norris can recite them all from memory. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264/12 "2016-01-26T17:46:40Z")
Chuck Norris isn’t afraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. Doctors have discovered Chuck Norris’s tears can cure cancer. Unfortunately, Chuck Norris never cries. There is no endangered species list, only a list of creatures that Chuck Norris permits to live. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264/13 "2016-01-26T18:07:31Z")
[![](http://i.pinimg.com/736x/4e/54/08/4e5408efe47017d027c130a6c2466117.jpg) ](http://i.pinimg.com/736x/4e/54/08/4e5408efe47017d027c130a6c2466117.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264/14 "2016-01-26T18:08:57Z")
Chuck Norris _can_ simply walk into Mordor. ---
**Author:** ![Donnerwetter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Donnerwetter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Donnerwetter)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264/15 "2016-01-26T19:16:30Z")
_Chuck can divide by zero_ ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264/16 "2016-01-26T19:40:14Z")
The whole CERN accelerator is just for show, at the end of the ring is a simple roundhouse kick pad that Chuck Norris breaks the particles on. ---
**Author:** ![Last\_Glacial\_Maximum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Last\_Glacial\_Maximum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Last_Glacial_Maximum)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264/17 "2016-01-26T19:45:11Z")
Chuck Norris does not do push-ups… He does earth-downs ! . ---
**Author:** ![Donnerwetter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Donnerwetter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Donnerwetter)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264/18 "2016-01-26T20:44:51Z")
_Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience_ ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264/19 "2016-01-26T21:02:34Z")
Can’t wait until we move on to Y2K jokes. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2016, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264/20 "2016-01-26T21:45:24Z")
Chuck Norris was born in 1940. Five years later Hitler committed suicide. This was not a coincidence. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chuck-norris/744264.md?page=2)