# Circumcision Haiku, in honor of JDT **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 15, 2000, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370 "2000-11-15T22:40:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370/21 "2000-11-16T01:55:47Z")
DON’T let Lorena Do your circumcision, or You’ll go off half-cocked. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370/22 "2000-11-16T02:15:39Z")
Uncut, the way to go Wet spot, a curse of the past Giant foreskin suck it up ---
**Author:** ![Caliban](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecccb3/32.png) [@Caliban](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caliban)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370/23 "2000-11-16T02:27:31Z")
my ferocious hound now that he is unmuzzled can conquer the night my meager phallus which was trimmed against my will could use the spare skin good god! you aren’t whole! i’ve been told by the uncut but i’m civilized what is a foreskin? so asks my circumcised son i cannot answer ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370/24 "2000-11-16T02:31:03Z")
Tie it in a knot Condom Manufacturers will all soon go broke Save all your foreskins! Win Valuable Prizes! So much for Green stamps. Most women agree if they’re going to eat meat they like it unwrapped Jack wants to restore his amputated foreskin Vaseline ain’t cheap! ---
**Author:** ![Fletch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/919ad9/32.png) [@Fletch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fletch)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370/25 "2000-11-16T05:57:18Z")
One eye trouser snake Wretched doctor foreskin thief Dickless J D T ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370/26 "2000-11-16T07:14:57Z")
Phimosis got me JDT doesn’t agree He knows my foreskin! When you do the math and you hang around foreskin as much as Jack, you accumulate stuff in your head that others can’t refute, even with the truth. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370/27 "2000-11-16T07:23:46Z")
Man’s two heads war on Award not false victory To who drew first blood ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370/28 "2000-11-16T07:53:13Z")
Bad news for Chronos Only Jack can help him cure his malformed man-weapon ---
**Author:** ![Lux\_Fiat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lux\_Fiat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lux_Fiat)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370/29 "2000-11-16T08:56:30Z")
party in my pants: everyone’s invited but you, cruel doctor unholstered meat-gun unfit for for black ops without God’s flash-suppressor I, like Aragorn will reforge the broken sword; it will dangle proud ---
**Author:** ![Lux\_Fiat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lux\_Fiat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lux_Fiat)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370/30 "2000-11-16T09:00:22Z")
talk of penises turns to weapon imagery; paging Doctor Freud ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Teeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Dr.Teeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Teeth)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370/31 "2000-11-16T16:29:49Z")
Penii in the night (inevitable last line) Exchanging glanses ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370/32 "2000-11-16T16:55:54Z")
Coldfire is a mod Perhaps Cecil prefers his Dutch treat to be wrapped? I claim to like Rush Geddy Lee’s foreskin is my sole inspiration Show me a pizza Make sure not to cut it up Cheese is like smegma I love my foreskin My natural lubricant My hands don’t blister Tubular Friction slippery sheath of man-flesh How do I clean it? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370/33 "2000-11-16T18:49:07Z")
Where’d my foreskin go?? Don’t fret, you can rebuild it Thank you, Tug-A-Hoy! Knowledgeable Jack Explains how to satisfy The girls on his world. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370/34 "2000-11-16T19:07:32Z")
What do you get when you circumcise an infant? serial killer! I weep for the world uncut penises are it’s hope for salvation. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370/35 "2000-11-16T19:12:43Z")
Once an anteater But after the doctor’s snip A bright pink helmet ---
**Author:** ![stofsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@stofsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stofsky)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370/36 "2000-11-16T20:55:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silo \* > \*\*dreams…of a flap. > \*\* Why do I have a vision of the “lyricist” from Doyle’s band in “Slingblade,” saying “dot, dot, dot”? ---
**Author:** ![AuGratin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e95f7d/32.png) [@AuGratin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuGratin)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370/37 "2000-11-17T00:32:57Z")
all this fuss about a tiny scrap of skin - wait; must be all there was. ---
**Author:** ![Eggs\_a\_la\_Ted](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c68b51/32.png) [@Eggs\_a\_la\_Ted](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eggs_a_la_Ted)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370/38 "2000-11-17T00:53:34Z")
A haiku debate. Arguments for and against. Let’s see how it goes… - Pointless tradition. Why hinder masturbation? Justification? To save them from hell! We must prevent self-pleasure. So off with their heads! But that doesn’t work. Cut or not, boys will be boys. Chickens will be choked. Their souls must be saved. Is the tip is not sufficient? We’ll work our way down. How far will you go? To the root of the problem? Cut the whole thing off? If that’s what it takes. That might be overkill though. First try just the glans. Now don’t lose your head. Your offspring will be eunucks! Is that what you want? A small sacrifice. The ultimate prize awaits: Immortality. We call it: The Pit. The haven for foul language. My response is there. - There ends the debate. No consensus has been reached. Who would have thought it? ---
**Author:** ![Cantrip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Cantrip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cantrip)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370/39 "2000-11-17T01:08:55Z")
Powersuck her breast with your mighty foreskin, as she lays motionless. Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack get over your microprick. Ta da! Where have all the fore- skins gone? Gone to doctors ev- ery one. They’ll never learn. My foreskin is gone. I assume it’s safe; Prince Al- bert’s is in a can. 😉 **Kirk** : Oh… my… God! Noooooooooo! **Bones** : Powersucking foreskin! I think it’s dead, Jim. ---
**Author:** ![Cantrip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Cantrip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cantrip)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370/40 "2000-11-17T01:11:41Z")
Oh no - extra syl- lable. We’ll have to snip a bit off. Scalpel, please. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/circumcision-haiku-in-honor-of-jdt/41370.md?page=3)