# Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cirque-du-freak-the-vampires-assistant/515193>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [October 26, 2009, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cirque-du-freak-the-vampires-assistant/515193 "2009-10-26T16:16:28Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![AmericanMaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@AmericanMaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AmericanMaid)\
**Post date:** [October 26, 2009, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cirque-du-freak-the-vampires-assistant/515193/1 "2009-10-26T16:16:28Z")

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This weekend I stupidly paid $10 to see this movie, thinking it was a satire on the recent Vampire craze. It wasn’t. Whoever cut together the commercials or trailers for this movie, is a big fat liar! There was absolutely nothing redeeming about this movie. They have half vampires and the way you’re turned is basically a blood brother ritual. Lame and lamer. Also the lead kid makes Keanu Reeves look like De Niro. Even John C. Reilly sucked! Anyone else out there who sat through this waste of time? Apparently, it’s based upon a book series. Remind me to add it to my list of gifts not to get me for the holiday season.

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**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\
**Post date:** [October 26, 2009, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cirque-du-freak-the-vampires-assistant/515193/2 "2009-10-26T18:04:47Z")

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I actually enjoyed it. But I wasn’t expecting a lot. I in fact liked the tension between “Mr. Tiny”, the Gary Stu avatar of the writer and Crepsley his peace loving vampire that does not like to fight vampire wars for the entertainment of the readers/viewers. That part was actually kinda funny.

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**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\
**Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cirque-du-freak-the-vampires-assistant/515193/3 "2009-10-28T20:30:11Z")

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I’m not sure if I want to see it. I’m so over the vampire craze and if this just feeds it… ugh.

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**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\
**Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cirque-du-freak-the-vampires-assistant/515193/4 "2009-10-29T02:51:41Z")

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I may rent it when the following two criteria have been met;

1; my video rental store has it available  
2; Mike Nelson and the **Rifftrax** crew create a Rifftrax for it

But I won’t be seeing it in the theatre that’s for sure, this has the look and feel of the latest Emopire/Metropire craze that that horrible waste of celluloid “Twilight” started…

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**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\
**Post date:** [October 31, 2009, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cirque-du-freak-the-vampires-assistant/515193/5 "2009-10-31T19:49:41Z")

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Bored the piss out of me. I kept checking my watch. I have rarely walked out of a movie, but I was damn close.

It took too long to set up, the characters were cliche and in the end I just didn’t care.