# Citizen Trump (et al.) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 13, 2021, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458 "2021-01-13T17:51:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![mtnmatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a3d4f5/32.png) [@mtnmatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mtnmatt)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2021, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458/281 "2021-05-12T21:25:18Z")
In the category of life imitating art, we have Carl Hiaasen’s recent novel “Squeeze Me” where something of this nature is central to the plot (trying to avoid spoilers). I recommend it to anyone who likes this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Dandan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@Dandan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dandan)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2021, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458/282 "2021-05-12T23:34:07Z")
I second “Squeeze Me”, Hiassen’s best effort ever - WAY over the top, and no wondering who he’s actually talking about. It’s Florida, Jake. Dan ---
**Author:** ![mtnmatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a3d4f5/32.png) [@mtnmatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mtnmatt)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2021, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458/283 "2021-05-12T23:52:07Z")
I wonder if Hiaasen was aware of this thread: > [@Key lime pie?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/key-lime-pie/940057): > > Hello! Why is line “I’m tasting key lime pie.” used to signify that the person uttering it is about to die? ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2021, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458/284 "2021-05-19T04:32:33Z")
Here’s some news: > **[NY attorney general says Trump Org probe is now criminal](https://apnews.com/article/nyc-state-wire-new-york-attorney-generals-office-cyrus-vance-jr-manhattan-new-york-5ef3064093fd97cdc37fa2a6ebf9b271)** > > NEW YORK (AP) — The New York attorney general's office said Tuesday that it is conducting a criminal investigation into former President Donald Trump's business empire, expanding what had previously been a civil probe. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2021, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458/285 "2021-06-03T12:51:14Z")
Note that David Pecker is not a party to this settlement: > **[National Enquirer owner fined for illegal Trump campaign aid](https://apnews.com/article/trump-investigations-donald-trump-campaign-2016-election-2020-campaigns-ee63877891155395375ab72428697d41)** > > A federal election watchdog fined the publisher of the National Enquirer $187,500 for a payment it made to keep under wraps a story about former President Donald Trump’s alleged affair with a former Playboy model. > [@](#): > > A federal election watchdog fined the publisher of the National Enquirer $187,500 for squelching the story of a former Playboy model who claimed she’d had an affair with former President Donald Trump. > > The Federal Election Commission fined A360 Media, formerly known as American Media, for paying Karen McDougal $150,000 in August 2016, saying the payment was made to keep her story from becoming public before the presidential election. > > The FEC said the publisher’s “payment to Karen McDougal to purchase a limited life story right combined with its decision not to publish the story, in consultation with an agent of Donald J. Trump and for the purpose of influencing the election, constituted a prohibited corporate in-kind contribution.” > > Campaign finance laws prohibit corporations from cooperating with a campaign to affect an election. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458/286 "2021-06-09T10:29:09Z")
Awwwwwwww; no on cares, Donny. You’re a has-been. 😄 > **[Former president Trump returns as a diminished TV draw](https://apnews.com/article/tv-donald-trump-sports-entertainment-nba-35a372ff9ac66b7f2201afa42c33bf08)** > > Former President Donald Trump reached just under 700,000 measurable TV viewers over the weekend in his return to the stage at a North Carolina political event. > [@](#): > > Former President Donald Trump reached less than a million measurable television viewers over the weekend in his return to the public stage at a North Carolina political event. > > Newsmax averaged just under 700,000 viewers between 8 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. Saturday when Trump spoke, the Nielsen company said. His speech was also carried live on One America News Network and C-SPAN, but their audience is not measured by Nielsen. > > Fox News Channel did not carry the speech by the former president beloved by many of its viewers. The network averaged more than 1.5 million viewers for its typical Saturday night fare of Jesse Watters and Jeanine Pirro. Savor this, folks: “ **Fox News Channel did not carry the speech by the former president beloved by many of its viewers.** ” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Duality](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.duality/32/4098_2.png) [@Mr.Duality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Duality)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458/287 "2021-06-09T13:39:27Z")
You made my day and gave me some hope for the future! ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458/288 "2021-06-09T14:47:34Z")
The stupid; it burns! > **[Donald Trump Says He Should Have Shut Down Twitter, Just Like Nigeria Is Doing](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/donald-trump-nigeria-twitter_n_60c087bee4b0db85704fbdd7)** > > The former president, now suspended from social media, congratulated the African country on its national Twitter ban. How does he think that banning Twitter would have helped him? How would he use Twitter if he had had it shut down? 🤨 ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458/289 "2021-06-09T14:50:45Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > How does he think that banning Twitter would have helped him? Considering that he banned TikTok, and my son sends me a dozen TT videos a day to ignore, I think banning Twitter would have increased its usage. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Wiggler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/red_wiggler/32/13190_2.png) [@Red\_Wiggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Wiggler)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458/290 "2021-06-09T15:58:03Z")
“But Zuckerberg kept calling me and coming to the White House for dinner telling me how great I was,” is just so wonderful in its telling stupidity. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458/291 "2021-06-09T16:38:01Z")
If Trump can’t have Twitter, then nobody can! When I read the Trump statement, my first thought was about how Warren Jeffs, ( the incarcerated prophet of the notorious FLDS polygamy cult), has forbidden his followers to have any physical or sexual contact with anyone, including their spouses, for the duration of his incarceration. Jeff’s prison sentence is life + 40 years, yet his followers believe he’s being released any day……as long as they behave. Therefore, if his miraculous release doesn’t occur, it’s because his followers weren’t obedient enough. Because if the cult leader can’t have it, no one can! I really do wish he’d get his followers to boycott Twitter and Facebook, it would be nice if they, like a miracle, disappeared. But that won’t happen, at least not for another two weeks, after Mike Lindell’s free speech platform goes live and drives Twitter and Facebook out of business. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_McQwark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Steve\_McQwark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_McQwark)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458/292 "2021-06-09T17:53:25Z")
I was reading about that big multi-national raid and it occurred to me that the app that the FBI created is probably not going to be used by criminals anymore (I know a lot of criminals are dumb, but they’re not that dumb). I think it should be repurposed as a social media platform for conservatives. The conservatives get a platform that actually works (unlike the crap they keep rolling out) and, as a bonus, the FBI gets to keep tabs on domestic terrorists (yes, they are that dumb, they’re Qonservatives). ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458/293 "2021-06-09T20:36:45Z")
[Mr. Burns’ voice] An excellent plan, Smithers. Excellent! [/Mr. Burns’ voice] ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458/294 "2021-06-09T23:17:01Z")
As an added lure, tell them that the device is tax-free. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458/295 "2021-06-10T02:27:33Z")
> [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > Warren Jeffs, ( the incarcerated prophet of the notorious FLDS polygamy cult), has forbidden his followers to have any physical or sexual contact with anyone, including their spouses, for the duration of his incarceration. > > Jeff’s prison sentence is life + 40 years, . . . This would be a good thing if his followers are really that obedient. It would mean his cult, failing to produce any new generations for many years, would die out. ETA: This could qualify for a Mass Darwin Award. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458/296 "2021-06-10T17:25:46Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > ETA: This could qualify for a Mass Darwin Award. I think the Jonestown massacre has a lock on that. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2021, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458/297 "2021-06-11T05:58:40Z")
> [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > When I read the Trump statement, my first thought was about how Warren Jeffs, ( the incarcerated prophet of the notorious FLDS polygamy cult), has forbidden his followers to have any physical or sexual contact with anyone, including their spouses, for the duration of his incarceration. > > Jeff’s prison sentence is life + 40 years, yet his followers believe he’s being released any day……as long as they behave. Therefore, if his miraculous release doesn’t occur, it’s because his followers weren’t obedient enough. There was a story some years ago regards Jeffs’ FLDS cult members. Something about the “lost boys”. Being polygamous, the cult had a natural surplus of young males, so there was a tendency to expel any young male who stepped a millimeter out of line. The problem, of course, was that the cult pounded into its members heads that out there was evil and satanic. So now these boys are cast out into the evil out-there, where they have to either off themselves or try to figure out how to not go insane in this place where they believe they do not belong. In a way, I see a similarity with MAGAts. Their conquering hero has been dethroned. Their time in the sun now looks to them like getting on toward dusk. Four years of chest beating might not seem like a lot, but the withdrawal shock, grief and sense of confusion must be all but crippling to them. Our visceral instinct is to punish them, to get even with them for four years of megaclusterfuck. But that really accomplishes nothing, because they are still here and are not going away. They need rehab of some sort. I just wish I could figure out how that might work. ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2021, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458/298 "2021-06-11T06:04:42Z")
Conventional wisdom\* holds that they have to hit bottom first. And the last five-plus years (including the campaign and the post-interregnum) have clearly demonstrated that with a majority of these people, it’s whackadoodle all the way down. \* Yes, I know that “wisdom” has no place when discussing the MAGAsses. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2021, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458/299 "2021-06-11T06:52:17Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > Being polygamous, the cult had a natural surplus of young males, so there was a tendency to expel any young male who stepped a millimeter out of line. The problem, of course, was that the cult pounded into its members heads that out there was evil and satanic. So now these boys are cast out into the evil out-there, where they have to either off themselves or try to figure out how to not go insane in this place where they believe they do not belong. Yeah, they’d be driven down to Phoenix metro, given ten bucks, and told to get out of the car and start walking. Bastards. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2021, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458/300 "2021-06-11T15:46:32Z")
For those (such as myself) who want more detail here’s a link to the story. > **[Hundreds of 'Lost Boys' Expelled by Polygamist Community](https://abcnews.go.com/WNT/story?id=851753&page=1)** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-trump-et-al/930458.md?page=16)