# "Citizen Zombie!" "Gone with the Zombies!" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 2, 2003, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786 "2003-07-02T15:30:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786/1 "2003-07-02T15:30:43Z")
In the _Pirates of the Caribbean_ thread, **Dropzone** asked, “And is this the very first time I was disappointed that a movie had zombies?” Which got me to thinking . . . Which good movies would be made better, or bad movies good, with the addition of zombies? For instance, I think _Gone with the Wind_ is an OK movie: but how much better if Scarlett and Rhett had to fight off evil undead Union soldiers besieging Tara? “Lawzy, Miz’ Scarlett, I don’ know nuthin’ ‘bout killin’ no zombies!” Or _Bringing Up Baby_, where Katharine Hepburn and Cary Grant have to find a dinosaur bone stolen by their zombie dog, George. Or, _The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari_, where . . . Oh, wait, never mind . . . ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786/2 "2003-07-02T15:33:10Z")
_Gentlemen Prefer Zombies_, in which lovely undead temptresses Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell lure unsuspecting victims to a horrible fate . . . ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786/3 "2003-07-02T15:34:03Z")
How about _A Night at the Opera,_ with half the people in the stateroom scene zombies? Or _Swing Time_ – the “Pick Yourself Up” number would have a whole new resonance with Fred, Ginger, and a cast of zombies. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786/4 "2003-07-02T15:34:15Z")
Jurassic Zombies. Like the dinosaurs weren’t bad enough. Zombie Graffitti. Drag racing vs. zombies. Wait. That’d be pretty easy… Three Men and a Zombie. Hilarity ensues. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786/5 "2003-07-02T15:35:49Z")
A Zombie Named Desire In High Noon, the Cooper character is a zombie Taxi Driver’s Travis Bickle becomes a zombie In The Sound Of Music, Julie Andrews is zombie ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786/6 "2003-07-02T15:35:57Z")
_My Fair Zombie_, with Rex crooning “I’ve Grown Accustomed to Your Face.” ---
**Author:** ![Intaglio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/71e660/32.png) [@Intaglio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intaglio)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786/7 "2003-07-02T15:35:57Z")
Boxing Zombies, A Legless, Armless Torso has to go Toe to Toe against Zombies, using only her Wits, Brains and a Keen Mind. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786/8 "2003-07-02T15:42:03Z")
I think they already filmed that one . . . ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786/9 "2003-07-02T15:42:14Z")
Saving Private Zombie, in which a band of intrepid zombie soldiers staves off attacks from the living to ferry one of their own back to his mama zombie. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786/10 "2003-07-02T15:43:48Z")
Channel 7 8:00 - 10:00 What’s Easting Gilbert Grape’s Brain (1985) The touching story of an impoverished family made up of a morbidly obese mother and her children, including the mentally retarded Gilbert Grape. Suspense builds as zombies attempt to eat both the mother and Gilbert’s brain, only realize that the grotesque mother alone is more than they can handle. Grape’s brain does make a fine after-dinner mint. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786/11 "2003-07-02T15:53:03Z")
I Was a Zombie For The FBI! ---
**Author:** ![Number](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/number/32/242_2.png) [@Number](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Number)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786/12 "2003-07-02T16:20:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by twickster \* > **How about _A Night at the Opera,_ with half the people in the stateroom scene zombies?** Ok, we’ll need an armload of plywood, five shotguns, a box of nails, a box of ammo, and two hardboiled eggs. ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786/13 "2003-07-02T16:25:33Z")
Or the scene in _Pulp Fiction_ where Zombie Vincent and Zombie Jules really enjoy cleaning up the mess in the back of the car. Just don’t ask Jules to eat _pork_ brains. ---
**Author:** ![Anamorphic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anamorphic/32/3057_2.png) [@Anamorphic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anamorphic)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786/14 "2003-07-02T16:42:40Z")
_My Dinner With a Zombie_ - Wallace Shawn and a zombie discuss life and philosophy over a dinner of brains. _To Kill a Zombiebird_ - in this sequel to Harper Lee’s timeless classic of racisim and understanding, Atticus and Scout open up a can of whup-ass on a bunch of zombies. _The Bicycle Thief 2003_ - In this touching Italian film set during the depression, a man must comb the city with his son searching for his stolen bicycle so that he may work and feed his family. Oh, and did I mention that they’re zombies? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786/15 "2003-07-02T16:52:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Number \* > \*\*Ok, we’ll need an armload of plywood, five shotguns, a box of nails, a box of ammo, and two hardboiled eggs. \*\* **honk** Make that _three_ hardboiled eggs. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786/16 "2003-07-02T17:16:49Z")
\*Saving Private Zombie[/i9]—whoops. Too late. ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786/17 "2003-07-02T17:25:12Z")
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Zombie Sisterhood Riding in Cars with Zombies The Joy Luck Zombie Club My Big Fat Zombie Wedding (As a point of fact, I did spend my time watching all of the above movies hoping that zombies would make an appearance.) ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786/18 "2003-07-02T17:27:38Z")
MrVisible I shared that hope in those flics! Even a shark would have helped. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786/19 "2003-07-02T17:51:48Z")
The movie probably would be worse, but I like the line… “Get your stinking hands off me, you damn dirty zombie!” ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786/20 "2003-07-02T18:03:10Z")
_La Dolce Zombie_, in which Marcello Mastrioanni and Anita Ekberg frolic around Roman with elegant, degenerate zombies. _It Happened One Night of the Living Dead_, in which a zany heiress elopes with a zombie. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/citizen-zombie-gone-with-the-zombies/185786.md?page=2)