# Civil War **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 22, 2004, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679 "2004-10-22T21:07:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2004, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679/21 "2004-10-22T21:54:48Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > Well, if nobody wants to play frisbee I guess I’ll just have to get my [Aerobie Orbiter Boomerang](http://www.aerobie.com/Products/Orbiter.htm) and play with myself. > > Enjoy, > Steven Oh, so you admit you’re a wanker? Sorry, that was such a softball. \ ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2004, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679/22 "2004-10-22T21:56:12Z")
What is the OP talking about? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2004, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679/23 "2004-10-22T21:56:44Z")
> [@](#): > > Well, if nobody wants to play frisbee I guess I’ll just have to get my Aerobie Orbiter Boomerang and play with myself. Ya know, I’ve been wanking without the benefit of an Aerobie Orbiter Boomerang for decades, and it’s always worked out just fine. ---
**Author:** ![Blackacre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@Blackacre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackacre)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2004, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679/24 "2004-10-22T21:59:35Z")
My understanding wanking is healthy, relieves stress and helps a fella to sleep. =D BA ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2004, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679/25 "2004-10-22T22:00:03Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > What is the OP talking about? 😕 I dunno, I couldn’t quite make out what he was saying, what with all the background humming and whistling. Say, is that a piece of pecan pie? With whipped cream? ---
**Author:** ![Blackacre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@Blackacre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackacre)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2004, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679/26 "2004-10-22T22:02:34Z")
You know who you are, Ed. BA ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2004, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679/27 "2004-10-22T22:10:33Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Don’t it always go. Family can feud and pull each other’s hair out. But the moment a stranger intervenes on one side or the other, the family circles the wagon. Reminds me of the scene in Blazing Saddles where Bart’s family had to make their own wagon circle. Oh, I’m sorry, we were talking about wanking? Reminds me of the scene in Debbie does Dallas where… ---
**Author:** ![TitoBenito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2acd7d/32.png) [@TitoBenito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TitoBenito)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2004, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679/28 "2004-10-22T22:29:42Z")
Besides everyone knows that all the conservatives were killed and replaced by reptilians years ago. Most liberals too, except Ted Kennedy. They couldn’t find a volunteer willing to be Ted Kennedy. Rumsfield and Cheney are both still human as well. Rumsfeild is controlled by a giant electrode shoved up his anus. That’s why he always looks pissed and constipated all the time. Cheney was so evil that even the reptilians feared him so they just replaced most of his body with old pachinko machine parts so that he can live forever as long as sleeps in his hyperbaric chamber nightly, a la Darth Vader. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2004, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679/29 "2004-10-22T22:54:51Z")
**Blackacre** , you might have more fun playing in [MPSIMS](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/forumdisplay.php?f=4). ---
**Author:** ![Who\_me\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/958977/32.png) [@Who\_me\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Who_me_1)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2004, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679/30 "2004-10-22T23:05:46Z")
> [@Blackacre](#): > > You know who you are, Ed. > > BA My name’s not Ed. I want a kitty for my birthday. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2004, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679/31 "2004-10-22T23:08:07Z")
> [@Blackacre](#): > > My understanding wanking is healthy, relieves stress and helps a fella to sleep. =D > > BA Well, then, whatever we’re doing here, it sure ain’t wanking. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2004, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679/32 "2004-10-22T23:09:44Z")
What’s the over-under on when this guy gets banned? ---
**Author:** ![fruitbat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fruitbat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fruitbat)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2004, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679/33 "2004-10-22T23:17:17Z")
Is this another Red Sox - Yankees thread? ---
**Author:** ![Necro\_Romancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/50afbb/32.png) [@Necro\_Romancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necro_Romancer)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2004, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679/34 "2004-10-22T23:44:06Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > I’m sorry, was I wanking again? Can you post while on the metro? ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2004, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679/35 "2004-10-22T23:44:50Z")
What are Brahms? ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2004, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679/36 "2004-10-22T23:46:04Z")
Stoker and Cohen? ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679/37 "2004-10-23T00:09:17Z")
They’re all wankers, too. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679/38 "2004-10-23T00:22:41Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > Sure, I’ll bring [the Aerobie](http://www.aerobie.com/). > > Enjoy, > Steven Well, **Steven** , you just made my thread. I used to play with an Aerobie all the time as a kid, but I haven’t thought about it in at least 10 years. So throw it on over my way! (Aim for the little state that looks like a “thumbs up”.) ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679/39 "2004-10-23T00:30:07Z")
My last car had one a’ them Wanker engines. I was always off before I wanted to be. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679/40 "2004-10-23T00:41:05Z")
I’ve been wankin’ on the railroad All the livelong day I’ve been wankin’ on the railroad Just to pass the time of day Don’t you hear the wankers blowin’ Rise up so early for the porn Don’t you hear the cap’n shouting Dinah blow my horn Dinah won’t you blow, Dinah won’t you blow Dinah won’t you blow my ho-o-orn Dinah won’t you blow, Dinah won’t you blow Dinah won’t you blow my horn There’s someone in the panties of Dinah Someone in those panties I kno-o-o-ow Someone in the panties of Dinaaaaaah Strummin’, and it’s no banjo And singin’ feel my dildo-i-o Feel my dildo-i-o-o-o-o Feel my dildo-i-ooo-ooo O’Reilly’s on his old dildo [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/civil-war/270679.md?page=3)