# Classic Alice Cooper - Love the band but oh those lyrics **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 13, 2009, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306 "2009-08-13T16:44:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![maladroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@maladroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maladroit)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306/1 "2009-08-13T16:44:35Z")
I heard an old Alice Cooper song on the radio today, I Love the Dead (may be title, might just be the hook) and it reminded me how frustrated I used to be with him. He had a smoking hot band with a terrific funky groove to it but because of all the necrophilia and chaos and whatnot it just wasn’t any use for “mood music”. Can’t really get sexy to his lyrics, but the music, hokey smokes, made me feel all warm and squishy. Don’t get me wrong, I love Alice, and wish I’d gotten to see a live show when he used to do the big productions. It’s just the dichotomy of “man this would be a great bedroom song if he wasn’t talking about dead people right now”. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306/2 "2009-08-13T16:53:12Z")
Put on some Barry White if you want to get freaky with a woman. Put on some classic Alice if you want to get REALLY freaky with her. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306/3 "2009-08-13T18:28:38Z")
Is dis love or is dyslexia? What, Vincent Price voiceovers don’t set the mood? ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306/4 "2009-08-13T20:07:46Z")
I think classic Alice (defined as the period from _Love It to Death_ [1971] through _Billion Dollar Babies_ [1973]) had some _great_ lyrics. Just had “Killer” come up on my iPod the other day: “You’re a notch and I’m a legend/You’re at peace and I must hide.” Cool. “I Love the Dead” and “Dead Babies” were both end-of-album shockers, designed to reinforce the Grand Guignol aspect of the Alice Cooper image, and both fit the bill a little too well. (I think the way both songs end sonically–a sickening orgasmic shudder and a terrifying death noise, respectively–is worse than the actual lyrics!) ---
**Author:** ![batsto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b2d939/32.png) [@batsto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/batsto)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306/5 "2009-08-13T20:14:07Z")
Alice _still_ puts on a fantastic live show. We see him just about every year. It’s not quite as big a production as it was in the '70s, but he still has a lot of cool stuff–the guillotine and other props are still used. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2009, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306/6 "2009-08-16T20:49:38Z")
Oh c’mon… you mean you can’t make sexy time with _Only Women Bleed_? As one of the board’s resident Alice fanatics, I can promise you there’s some really killer (heh) stuff in his classic lyrics that’ll do the trick, especially if you go one album past **Biffy** ’s timeline to _Muscle of Love_. Not quite Barry White, but certainly enough to get lots of his female fans all hot ‘n’ bothered. Also, as **batsto** suggests, even if you missed him back in the day, his concerts now are da bomb. Certainly this tour would do the trick; there’s supposed to be more than one death in his future. Can’t wait!! ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2009, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306/7 "2009-08-16T23:56:09Z")
I was a huge fan, I was about 14 when he was at his peak. \*Love It To Death \*through \*Billion Dollar Babies \*was the “golden age” of Alice in my opinion too. BDB tour was one of the first concerts I went to. I’m a little disappointed when I hear him interviewed now, not really very Alice-y. \*“If I live to be 97, she’ll still be waitin’ in refrigerator heaven” \* ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306/8 "2009-08-17T00:02:24Z")
_Come around midnight We’ll be crawlin’on the floor Burnin’with the fever And yellin’out for more But don’t you write it in your diary, baby Don’t blab it on the phone Cuz if your mom and dad find out They’ll skin me to the bone_ Alice always **was** the charmer. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306/9 "2009-08-17T00:04:12Z")
> [@River\_Hippie](#): > > I’m a little disappointed when I hear him interviewed now, not really very Alice-y. The only songs by him that I know are things have been in regular rotation since the mid-90’s so that’s, what, 5 or 6 songs, but I do like listening to him getting interviewed, he has a story for EVERYTHING. OTOH, I can’t stand Nights With Alice. I mean, I like the music he picks out, but I can’t stand listening to him talk. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306/10 "2009-08-17T00:08:51Z")
I’m just no good without it I’m not a man at all (It makes my skin crawl.) Can’t find anything to object to in that song. (Hey, maybe the “blue lady” is a Pict.) ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306/11 "2009-08-17T04:14:23Z")
Of course, Vincent has divorced himself from many of his older songs, because of his religious beliefs. If you think they’re deep, go ahead… ---
**Author:** ![Dave\_Hartwick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306/12 "2009-08-17T13:10:37Z")
Man, I must’ve seen him the year he totally sucked live. Seemed like a 45 minute show, cheap theatrics. Vinny Vincent opened IIRC, so early to mid 80s and obviously well past the form I’d heard so much about. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306/13 "2009-08-17T14:07:41Z")
Btw, is the TV production (NOT the concert video) of “Welcome to My Nightmare” available yet? ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306/14 "2009-08-17T14:24:07Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > Btw, is the TV production (NOT the concert video) of “Welcome to My Nightmare” available yet? Found the answer- Nope, at least not officially. I don’t know about unofficially yet. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306/15 "2009-08-18T02:43:08Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > I think classic Alice (defined as the period from _Love It to Death_ [1971] through _Billion Dollar Babies_ [1973]) had some _great_ lyrics. Just had “Killer” come up on my iPod the other day: “You’re a notch and I’m a legend/You’re at peace and I must hide.” Cool. “I Love the Dead” and “Dead Babies” were both end-of-album shockers, designed to reinforce the Grand Guignol aspect of the Alice Cooper image, and both fit the bill a little too well. (I think the way both songs end sonically–a sickening orgasmic shudder and a terrifying death noise, respectively–is worse than the actual lyrics!) I concur. After Babies, the real Alice Cooper moved to Scorpios Island, and had some blatant imposter make records under his name. Wasn’t the song you quoted “Desperado” howsomever? It was one of the best that he made, and most of his songs during the golden years were world class. hh ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306/16 "2009-08-18T02:45:46Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > I think classic Alice (defined as the period from _Love It to Death_ [1971] through _Billion Dollar Babies_ [1973]) had some _great_ lyrics. Just had “Killer” come up on my iPod the other day: “You’re a notch and I’m a legend/You’re at peace and I must hide.” Cool. “I Love the Dead” and “Dead Babies” were both end-of-album shockers, designed to reinforce the Grand Guignol aspect of the Alice Cooper image, and both fit the bill a little too well. (I think the way both songs end sonically–a sickening orgasmic shudder and a terrifying death noise, respectively–is worse than the actual lyrics!) When “Alice Cooper goes to Hell” came out, I think in 1975, a friend of mine said “Hasn’t he been doing that for his last three albums?” the answer, of course, was yes, but the witticism was funny. hh ---
**Author:** ![maladroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@maladroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maladroit)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306/17 "2009-08-18T03:51:12Z")
I always picture him in golf pants now. The only time I saw him live was a couple years ago at some outdoor music festival with minimal production, short set - 30 min? It wasn’t wonderful but cripes, the guy’s pretty old now 😃 and so am I. I wish I had made more of an effort to see him one or two decades ago. The albums hold up though. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306/18 "2009-08-18T04:05:35Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > Wasn’t the song you quoted “Desperado” howsomever? :smack: Right you are; thanks for the correction. I get confused since the song does feature the “I’m a killer and I’m a clown” lyrical hook. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306/19 "2009-08-18T04:31:46Z")
> [@Cardinal](#): > > Of course, Vincent has divorced himself from many of his older songs, because of his religious beliefs. If you think they’re deep, go ahead… Vincent Price? Nah, he went RC and we–I mean THEY-- LOVES they (us) the supernatural crap. It’s why normal Protestants have trouble going back to the Mother Church. Supernatural stops being their thing early on, though I still sneak a Hail Mary when an ambulance passes. Oh, you mean Vincent Furnier? He’s what I, in an earlier incarnation. would term a [Holy Roller.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_roller) Okay, to be fair, that [del]dismissal[/del] description still holds for unenlightened souls. Okay, I’d say something about how easy liberal/conservative religious discrimination can be, but I’d like to point to the lyrics of the early Black Sabbath which, despite the band name, are, theologically, fairly conservative and Non-Conformist in nature. Vince was a cartoon, and the only people he drew to The Dark Side were morons, and Hell could have them. But he had a kick-ass band. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306/20 "2009-08-18T04:53:59Z")
\*One thing I miss is Cold Ethel and her skeleton kiss One thing, no lie, Ethel’s frigid as an eskimo pie We met last night making love by the refrigerator light She’s cool in bed, well she ought to be 'cuz Ethel’s dead Ethel, Ethel, let me squueze you in my arms Ethl, Ethel, come and freeze me with your charms\* He used to have a sense of humor back in the day. Too bad his brain got eaten by all that born again crap. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-alice-cooper-love-the-band-but-oh-those-lyrics/506306.md?page=2)