# Classic Films That Should Become Musicals? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 14, 2007, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534 "2007-08-14T09:49:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sir\_Rhosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sir\_Rhosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Rhosis)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2007, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534/41 "2007-08-15T19:40:07Z")
Somebody far more clever than I can supply the song suggestions for: \*\*Pulp Fiction Psycho Escape From New York Dirty Harry True Grit\*\* Sir Rhosis ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2007, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534/42 "2007-08-15T20:02:15Z")
> [@MadTheSwine](#): > > [Quote=Sampiro] > > Slingblade > > A Bush in the Hand, That’s all I Gotta Sing About That, Like Biscuits and Mustard, He Ain’t Preemie, He’s My Brother, Waters of the Medulla Oblongata, I’m Hurtin’ Honey and I Like the Way You Sang. Also, Bridge Over Cold and Deep Waters [/quote] And don’t forget “Funny (Queer, not Ha Ha)” ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2007, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534/43 "2007-08-17T02:57:13Z")
[QUOTE=FriarTed] Fritz Lang’s METROPOLIS Christopher Walken as Rotwang the Inventor/Sorcerer. [/QUOTE] Curses—beat me to the punch! Anyway…how 'bout the original _Godzilla_, as an incredibly depressing opera? A few versions of the sad children’s chorus from the film, a few remixes of the classic Godzilla themes with brass and/or Gregorian chant style…maybe try to do something “artsy” for the depiction of Godzilla himself, like only showing the effects of his attacks, or a shadow-puppet sillouette, or you hear his roar (or a musical rendition of it) in the distance. This would be both to be pretentious and show off, but more importantly, to avoid having to hire David Prowse to put on a rubber suit and smash through a model railroad set in the middle of an Aria. Okay, maybe that last part would be a LITTLE cool… ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2007, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534/44 "2007-08-17T03:09:38Z")
A musical based on _King Kong_ might be interesting. There was actually a direct-to-video animated movie called _The Mighty Kong_ which was a very faithful adaptation of the film featuring catchy Broadway-style showtunes composed by Walt Disney’s favorite composers, Richard and Robert Sherman. Although I’m sure you could go a different route. For some reason, I’m seeing a campy, _Little Shop of Horrors_-style take on it. Featuring the hit songs _Women Are A Nuisance_, _Have You Ever Heard of Kong?_, _The Eighth Wonder of the World_, and the show-stopping finale _'Twas Beauty Killed The Beast!_ ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2007, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534/45 "2007-08-17T03:54:40Z")
\*Get on that plane You must keep him sane He needs you, the resistance needs him. Where I must go You cannot know. Please hurry, the hour grows dim! Shake off the fetters And please take the letters Don’t cry, or I will be embarrassed! Our problems, they seem Like a big hill of beans Remember, we’ll always have Paris…\* They’ll be humming it on the ride home. ---
**Author:** ![Leiko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Leiko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leiko)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2007, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534/46 "2007-08-17T04:23:36Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] And of course the Harry Potter movies/books would be perfect for musicals. _Good Morning Voldemort!_ (there’s the kneazle who lives next door!) _Thestral Gavotte_ _Under the Stairs_ (to the tune of _Under the Sea_) It’s gonna be hard to sing “Cho” to the tune of _Maria_, though, so we’ll change his first girlfriend to Parvati. [/QUOTE] You could always give the song to Ron and have it be about Hermione, which would fit with the condensing necessary in making thousands of pages into one musical. (One of my best friends and I actually tried to figure out if all of Harry Potter could be condensed into one Les Mis-length musical- it didn’t work.) (Also, I can’t tell what the Thestral Gavotte is a reference to- care to enlighten me?) Follow that Bird, the awesome Sesame Street movie, should be made into a Broadway musical or more likely a touring show. But all the little kids would hate it because there is no Elmo in the movie, except waving out the window near the end. That I’m fine with keeping- the low levels of Snuffy, though, I’d want fixed, because he was my favorite. (The film was made right before Snuffy became “real.”) ---
**Author:** ![Rocketeer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocketeer/32/4437_2.png) [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2007, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534/47 "2007-08-17T14:30:38Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] \*Get on that plane You must keep him sane He needs you, the resistance needs him. Where I must go You cannot know. Please hurry, the hour grows dim! Shake off the fetters And please take the letters Don’t cry, or I will be embarrassed! Our problems, they seem Like a big hill of beans Remember, we’ll always have Paris…\* They’ll be humming it on the ride home. [/QUOTE] I find this oddly compelling. 🙂 What tune had you envisioned this being sung to, so I can hum it properly? ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2007, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534/48 "2007-08-17T15:26:46Z")
I was thinking _Scarface_, but all I get is Sweeney Todd songs. "Little Friend instead of “Old Friend,” for example. The opening could go like this: Attend the tale of Tony Montana He slung some coke and he went bananas He came in the boatlift from Mariel What happened before then he never would tell I’d like to see a musical version of _Death of a Salesman._ The songs would include, “By God I Was Rich,” “A Shoeshine and a Smile,” “Whistling in the Elevator,” and a big production number at the end of Act I called “Hastings Refrigerator.” ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2007, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534/49 "2007-08-17T16:00:41Z")
The entire _ouevre_ of David Lynch. Score and lyrics by Weird Al Yankovic. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2007, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534/50 "2007-08-17T16:54:43Z")
Hmm… **Lord of the Flies: The Musical**. **Marathon Man** , including the musical smash hit, “Is It Safe?” **Children of a Lesser God** , the musical? And of course **Boxing Helena**. ---
**Author:** ![Wonderwall6129](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Wonderwall6129](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonderwall6129)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2007, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534/51 "2007-08-17T18:37:50Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] I hate every chimp I see From Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z You’ll never make a monkey out of me. Oh Gosh! I was wrong. It was earth all along. You’ve finally made a monkey Yes, you’ve finally made a monkey Yes, you’ve finally made a monkey out of me. [/QUOTE] -Can I play the piano anymore? -Why, of course you can. -Well, I couldn’t before. ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2007, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534/52 "2007-08-17T18:53:50Z")
[QUOTE=Slithy Tove] Although filmed a few times but never a classic movie, Kafka’s _Metamorphosis_ - a revolving stage set and you get the bug dancing on the walls & ceiling like Fred Astaire. [/QUOTE] Livin’ like a bug ain’t easy! My old clothes don’t seem to fit me I got little tiny bug feet I don’t really know what bugs eat Don’t want no one stepping on me Now I’m sympathizing with fleas Franz! Franz Kafka! A warrior of words taking a stand! My own suggestion: _A Clockwork Orange_ - it’s got some great music to work with already. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2007, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534/53 "2007-08-17T20:31:23Z")
[QUOTE=Rocketeer] I find this oddly compelling. 🙂 What tune had you envisioned this being sung to, so I can hum it properly? [/QUOTE] Something like da-DA-da da-da da-DA-da da-da da-DA-da da-DA-da da-da-daaaa Clearly, I need a Sullivan to my Gilbert. ---
**Author:** ![Ferd\_Burfel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@Ferd\_Burfel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferd_Burfel)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2007, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534/54 "2007-08-17T22:44:48Z")
**Cool Hand Luke** with it’s show stopping “Failure To Communicate.” **Midnight Cowboy** featuring “Hey! I’m Walking Here!” \*\*Psycho \*\*will leave audiences humming “A Boy, His Mom, … And a Knife” ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2007, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534/55 "2007-08-18T03:01:03Z")
[QUOTE=panamajack] Franz! Franz Kafka! A warrior of words taking a stand! [/QUOTE] He grew up very poor He’s steel, it’s to the core Born in 1883, died in 1924 He-is-Franz-Kaf-ka! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2007, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534/56 "2007-08-18T03:39:25Z")
[QUOTE=Fish] Hmm… **Marathon Man** , including the musical smash hit, “Is It Safe?” [/QUOTE] It starts out _When I was young ein bad kleine kid, Der Fuhrer noticed funny things that I did…_ … WHAT’S EATING GILBERT GRAPE Bathtime Duet Gilbert: _I thought you were gonna bathe yourself that’s how it sounded_ Arnie: _Duh! I’m retarded bro, and I coulda drownded!_ Dinner with Mama \*Pass the ham and the lamb what’s that ma’am? She wants the jam. Try the chops the taters are slop Sister’s gonna mop while I hang with pop… \* ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2007, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534/57 "2007-08-18T04:20:50Z")
**MIRACLE!** (a musical version of The Miracle Worker) **HELEN** (to the tune of STELLA from “Hey Streetcar!”) Mother Keller: \* Helen! Helen! Don’t ya heah us yellin’? If you do then you ain’t tellin’! Say water I’d give you a whole melon! HELEN!!! \* **WATER** Annie (in drill sergeant cadence): \*Look out Helen here I come, You’re blind and deaf but you ain’t dumb! W, A, T, E, and R- Say that word and you’ll go far! Sound off! \* Helen: \* [blank stare] \* Annie: \* Sound off! \* Helen: \* [blank stare] \* Annie (as cheerleader): \* GIMME A WAH! \* Helen: \* wwwwwaaaaaahhhhhh\* Annie: \* GIMME A TER! \* Helen: \* ttteeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrr\* Annie: \* Whadda ya got? \* Helen: \* Pakfa tok! \* **ANNIE’S FLASHBACKS** Annie: \* I was in the asylum with my brother…\* [offstage child’s voice]: \* Annie… Annie….\* Annie: \* Jimmy won’t ya hush! Be a good little fella! \* [offstage child’s voice]: \* You were supposed to take care of me forever and forever! \* Annie: \* Forgive me Jimmy! I had to go to school! \* [offstage voice- deeper]: \* There is no Jimmy… only Zule….\* **SHOWDOWN** Cap’n Keller: \* Miss Sullivan you’re fired! \* Annie: \* Like hell! I quit! \* Cap’n Keller: \* Good! I’ve paid good money And the gal ain’t said shit! \* Annie: \* Teach her yourself I’m not in the mood Please pass me more Of her “fav’rite foods!” \* **Wah-Wah** (to the tune of _The Lee’s of Old Virginia_ Everybody: \* Cause it is H20, the one word you know And it’s a word that’s gonna go with a lotta things! \* Maid: \* There’s Holy-\* Helen: \* Wah-Wah\* Jimmy: \* Rain-\* Helen: \* Wah-wah\* Mother Keller: \* Senator Barry Gold-\* Helen: \* Wah-wah\* Annie: \* Bath-\* Helen: \* Wah-wah\* Maid: \* Cool-\* Helen: \* Wah-wah\* Cap’n Keller: \* New Dasani lemon flavored-\* Helen: \* I just learned to talk and you’re wanting me to do product placement? Nah-ah! \* All: \* It is H20, the one word she knows, and product placement blows, she knows lotsa things! \* **Director’s Note:** The program for this show will be a black field with a capital letter W in white and the words “The Wah-Wah” underneath. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2007, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534/58 "2007-08-18T14:25:43Z")
There was actually a consp… thought of bringing _The African Queen_ to the stage at one time, incidentally. I think with some Tommy Tune choreography for the leech’s dance, Nathan Lane as Charlie and Marin Mazzie as Rose (who enters by singing _My Missionary Position_ with her brother [also played by Nathan Lane]) it could work, maybe with Little Richard as the chief of a tribe they encounter with a showstopping number claiming dreadnaught technology was copied from him. Of course there was a [pilot in the 70s](http://imdb.com/title/tt0075639/) to make it a series (based on the stunning success of Yul Brynner’s [King & I](http://imdb.com/title/tt0068039/) sitcom), but without Nathan Lane it never stood a chance. ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534/59 "2007-08-24T20:02:30Z")
[QUOTE=Eyebrows 0f Doom] **Young Frankenstein** is opening on Broadway in the Fall. It’s already begun previews in Seattle & the marquee is up at the Hilton Theatre in New York. [/QUOTE] And I saw it last night and was blown away - the cast was incredible, and the staging was over the top, including some things that had me scratching my head going 'how the hell did they DO that (and I WORK in technical theatre). And Mel was there for curtain calls, and actually said a few words to the crowd. Of course, they threw in a few local jokes, such as an addendum to the “brandy? Warm milk? Ovaltine?” schtick… Venti Soy Cafe Macchiato? ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2007, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534/60 "2007-08-25T00:37:31Z")
[QUOTE=lawoot] And I saw it last night and was blown away - the cast was incredible, and the staging was over the top, including some things that had me scratching my head going 'how the hell did they DO that (and I WORK in technical theatre). And Mel was there for curtain calls, and actually said a few words to the crowd. Of course, they threw in a few local jokes, such as an addendum to the “brandy? Warm milk? Ovaltine?” schtick… Venti Soy Cafe Macchiato? [/QUOTE] I am so glad to hear that! Was it the same cast as I’ve read (the guy from VAN HELSING as the Monster, Andrea Martin as Frau Blucher _thunder, whinnies_, and Megan Mullahy as Elizabeth)? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classic-films-that-should-become-musicals/415534.md?page=4)