# Classical chillout music in "actually really stressful" probe **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 7, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067 "2003-04-07T14:39:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dead\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067/1 "2003-04-07T14:39:41Z")
What the haemorrhaging fuck were you thinking! “Gee, the third movement of Beethoven’s fourth is nice 'n all, but what it really needs is a choral arrangement complete with DRUM MACHINE!”? AARRRGGHHHH! makeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstop oh god pleeaase… ---
**Author:** ![bifar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@bifar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bifar)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067/2 "2003-04-07T14:44:24Z")
Damn right. And you know what else really pisses me off? Bloody evil presenters on bloody evil Classic FM calling EVERY SINGLE SLOW MOVEMENT THEY PLAY ‘relaxing’. And then you listen to it, and it’s Mozart or Beethoven, and even though it’s slow it’s certainly not relaxing, it’s agonising and demanding and weird and scary and yearning and unexpected. Because it’s CLASSICAL MUSIC. IT IS NOT ENYA. And so you don’t relax, just feel all het up, and then stress about why you’re not relaxing and you’re worse off than when you started. Actually, I may need to start a thread merely about Classic FM and all that it stands for. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067/3 "2003-04-07T16:28:21Z")
Classic FM is the work of Satan himself. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![j\_kat\_251](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@j\_kat\_251](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_kat_251)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067/4 "2003-04-08T01:19:29Z")
That O Fortuna song really calms me down after a stressful day at work. Ah, Orff. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067/5 "2003-04-08T02:21:31Z")
Argh. I hate people who say, “I like classical music-it’s very relaxing.” No it isn’t, dipshit. Not all of it. Dammit. Listen to _Rite of Spring_ then come back and tell me if you feel “relaxed.” Hell, some of it is downright creepy. _Montagues and the Capulets_ anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067/6 "2003-04-08T10:10:53Z")
Personally, I like to chill out with Khatchaturian’s _Sabre Dance_ myself. Or drift away gently on Tchaikovsky’s soothing strains in the _1812 Overture_. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067/7 "2003-04-08T10:58:26Z")
Berlioz “March to the Scaffold” is always nice for candlelight dinners. Actually, the most relaxing classical piece that I can think of off the top of my head is Debussy’s “Afternoon for a Faun.” (Or is that _of_ a faun? ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067/8 "2003-04-08T11:24:58Z")
Classical music can so be relaxing. Listen to Vivaldi’s _Spring_ sometime. Or Mozart’s _Fur Elise_. It isn’t tough to find relaxing classical music, just as it’s easy to find more agressive pieces. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Unwashed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_great_unwashed/32/4791_2.png) [@The\_Great\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067/9 "2003-04-08T11:29:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Derleth \* > \*\*Classical music can so be relaxing. Listen to Vivaldi’s _Spring_ sometime. Or Mozart’s _Fur Elise_. It isn’t tough to find relaxing classical music, just as it’s easy to find more agressive pieces. \*\* a) Spring ain’t relaxing b) that’s _Beethoven’s_ Fur Elise c) Beethoven’s Fur Elise ain’t relaxing d) tch! ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067/10 "2003-04-08T11:51:57Z")
Well, there is Pachbel’s _Canon in D_. That, at least, is relaxing. Otherwise, I agree with the rant. Heck, classical music can even be funny. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067/11 "2003-04-08T12:02:44Z")
> [@](#): > > Otherwise, I agree with the rant. Heck, classical music can even be funny. You mean there are musical jokes? ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067/12 "2003-04-08T12:24:41Z")
_Fur Elise_ is very relaxing. I don’t know what you’re listening to, but it is relaxing. So’s _Spring_. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067/13 "2003-04-08T12:34:26Z")
**Fur Elise** (pardon the missing umlaut) is pathetic (in the original sense), while Vivaldi’s **Spring** is energetic. Both are frequently mutilated by insensitive performers, but that’s not the composers’ faults. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by asterion \* > \*\*Well, there is Pachbel’s _Canon in D_. That, at least, is relaxing. \*\* Especially for the cello section. I used to nod off playing it. The biggest problem underlying the “classical music is relaxing” statement is that it presumes that it’s all superficial background music you don’t really have to listen to. Which I suppose is fine if you’re listening to Telemann’s _Tafelmusik_, which _is_ background music, but not if you’re listening to Beethoven, Mendelssohn, Bach, etc. Properly performed, there’s a lot of subtle nuances you’re supposed to notice. If you want to listen to it to relax, fine. But don’t go telling me that’s what it’s _for_, or I may give you a reason to need to relax. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067/14 "2003-04-08T12:43:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Francesca \* > \*\*You mean there are musical jokes? \*\* Yes. Mostly in the way it sounds or quoting of other works. Look up PDQ Bach (the non-serious work of Peter Schickele). However, like a lot of humor, you have to know the source material to understand why the parody is funny. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Unwashed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_great_unwashed/32/4791_2.png) [@The\_Great\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067/15 "2003-04-08T12:52:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Derleth \* > \*\*_Fur Elise_ is very relaxing. I don’t know what you’re listening to, but it is relaxing. So’s _Spring_. \*\* Yawn. This thread is relaxing. Look, Derlath, you sausage, _you_ might find them relaxing, or _you_ might play them to relax, but that doesn’t _make_ them relaxing, any more than Muse’s Origin Of Symmetry (which I was relaxing to only last night). Tch! ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067/16 "2003-04-08T12:57:16Z")
I really like hearing Moussorgsky-Ravel’s _Hut of Baba Yaga_ when I’m at the dentist - for that relaxing sensation of the dental chair soaring off into the unknown on giant wings. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Unwashed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_great_unwashed/32/4791_2.png) [@The\_Great\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067/17 "2003-04-08T13:03:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Francesca \* > \*\*You mean there are musical jokes? \*\* Are you joking? I think you’re not. Gah! I can laugh my way through Beethoven’s The Emperor. Strictly it isn’t funny, but it makes me laugh. But then some works are chock-full of genuine comedy – Listz’s Hungarian Rhapsodies can have me rolling on the floor, holding my belly with tears in my eyes. Maybe I amuse easily. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067/18 "2003-04-08T13:08:07Z")
I was referring to Mozart’s _Musical Joke_. I’m wasted on you people. ---
**Author:** ![bifar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@bifar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bifar)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067/19 "2003-04-08T13:24:03Z")
There’s Haydn’s hilarious Clock Symphony. Which, er, sounds like a clock, ho ho. And Till Eulenspeigel (Strauss). I think Beethoven tries to be comical sometimes but doesn’t quite manage it. Anyway I much prefer Sturm und Drang. ---
**Author:** ![bifar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@bifar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bifar)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067/20 "2003-04-08T13:30:15Z")
There’s Haydn’s hilarious Clock Symphony. Which, er, sounds like a clock, ho ho. And Till Eulenspeigel (Strauss). I think Beethoven tries to be comical sometimes but doesn’t quite manage it. Anyway I much prefer Sturm und Drang. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/classical-chillout-music-in-actually-really-stressful-probe/167067.md?page=2)