# Clearly, he was asking for it! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 9, 2006, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680 "2006-11-09T05:42:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/edb3f5/32.png) [@Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Push_Up_Bra)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680/1 "2006-11-09T05:42:06Z")
> **[Australia News: Latest National Headlines, News Today and Breaking Stories |...](https://www.nine.com.au/australia-news)** > > Stay updated with the latest news across Australia, with Nine.com.au. Live coverage of national politics, the economy, major crime and breaking stories from across the country. A “silly” [read: dumbfuck] Belgian tourist decided that he would ignore the signs posted in the area about staying behind the barriers and go in closer for a photograph of the crocodiles. > [@](#): > > A crocodile attack on a “silly” Belgian tourist has prompted new calls for a cull of the reptiles in Queensland. CULL THE MORON!! > [@](#): > > The 24-year-old tourist ignored crocodile warnings signs, wading into a creek at Cape Tribulation and slapping the water to try to entice a crocodile closer for a better photograph. He is clearly asking for trouble right here by ignoring the signs. Beyond that, there is no guarantee for his safety. > [@](#): > > But before the man could take a snap, the two-metre estuarine crocodile snapped first, quickly launching itself out of the water and biting him on the left knee. > > “It lunged out and grabbed his knee and the worst part is he didn’t get the photo,” local doctor Kelly Lash told Fairfax, adding that the tourist should be a candidate for an award “for doing stupid things”. Doctor Kelly Lash - I want to have your babies. You are clearly worth your pay packet. Me love you long time. > [@](#): > > The Belgian was lucky, suffering more from shock than injury as the croc bite was treated at Mossman Hospital, north of Cairns. He was later released. > > The crocodile in question will now be removed for safety reasons. > > Townsville-based Liberal Senator Ian Macdonald (Macdonald) said while the tourist had been “silly”, the latest incident demonstrated the need for a crocodile cull in populated areas. > > “If you have crocodiles where there are tourists you really are inviting danger,” Senator Macdonald said. Because some tourists should never have left the womb. > [@](#): > > The Liberal Party last week passed a motion proposed by Senator Macdonald at its annual state convention in Brisbane for crocodile numbers to be reduced in populated areas. > > The call came after crocodiles were spotted at The Strand in Townsville, forcing authorities to close the beach. > > Senator Macdonald said croc numbers had returned to “sustainable levels” since hunting was banned in Queensland in 1972. > > “I think there is value to be obtained from the cull of wild crocodiles in the form of meat (and) skins - much the same as we do for kangaroos,” he said. > > But Queensland Environment Minister Lindy Nelson-Carr said destroying a “prehistoric animal” which lived in Queensland was “nothing short of ridiculous”. > > She said most crocodile attacks occurred as a result of people behaving irresponsibly. > > “This particular tourist behaved in a very foolish manner,” she told AAP. > > “We have good signage, we educate the public to be croc wise and most people who have faced a crocodile under serious circumstances, where they’ve lost their lives, have been irresponsible because they’ve been drinking (or) they’ve gone into the water of known crocodile habitats after 5pm.” Therefore, they deserve what they get! > [@](#): > > Queensland Parks and Wildlife Service crocodile expert Dr Mark Read said there were two croc warning signs near the attack site. > > He said the croc probably attacked because his territory had been invaded, or had viewed the tourist’s tapping on the water as a “prey signal”. > > Dr Read said rangers would attempt to catch the croc, which would then be sold to a farm or licensed wildlife park. > > There are an estimated 30,000 crocodiles in Queensland. I take some comfort in the fact that they will not cull this crocodile, but relocate him. On the other hand, I am enraged that this stupid ninny has not been put down for the sake of the species. Between him, the parents and the nine-year-old girl who necessitated the euthanasia of a family of meerkats and the woman who decided that the lion cubs on the savannah weren’t in the most optimal photographic position, the animals haven’t got a chance! ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680/2 "2006-11-09T05:57:29Z")
I like the bit where the Senator suggests removing the dreadful animals from the touristy areas as they are a danger…um, isn’t half the appeal of the Top End going to see the buggers in their natural environment? Yup, our Belgian friend should surely be up for a Darwin Award, and the big-jawed guy a slap on the snout for not killing him outright!! 😃 (apologies for not using the word .ro.odile…some little shit has been playing with my 'puter’s auto-.orre.t fun.tion so I .an’t use the letter that sits between x and v. He’ll be dead when he gets home!!) ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680/3 "2006-11-09T08:40:43Z")
I figured it was due to a trauma you suffered as a sbhool boy. And you got through the first two paragraphs without it; an impressive feat, I must say. ---
**Author:** ![Caught\_Work](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/919ad9/32.png) [@Caught\_Work](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caught_Work)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680/4 "2006-11-09T09:03:48Z")
[QUOTE=kambuckta] I like the bit where the Senator suggests removing the dreadful animals from the touristy areas as they are a danger…um, isn’t half the appeal of the Top End going to see the buggers in their natural environment? Yup, our Belgian friend should surely be up for a Darwin Award, and the big-jawed guy a slap on the snout for not killing him outright!! 😃 (apologies for not using the word .ro.odile…some little shit has been playing with my 'puter’s auto-.orre.t fun.tion so I .an’t use the letter that sits between x and v. He’ll be dead when he gets home!!) [/QUOTE] [python] Mr. Bounder: Listen…can you say the letter K? Mr. Smoketoomuch: Oh, yes. Khaki, kettle, Kipling, Khomeini, Kellog’s Born Flakes. Mr. Bounder: Well, why don’t you say the letter K instead of the letter C? Mr. Smoketoomuch: Well, you mean, pronounce “blassified” with a K? Mr. Bounder: Yes, absolutely! Mr. Smoketoomuch: Classified! Mr. Bounder: Good! Mr. Smoketoomuch: Oh, it’s very good! I never thought of that before. What a silly bunt. [/python] Good on that krokodile. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680/5 "2006-11-09T09:06:28Z")
[QUOTE=Freudian Push Up Bra] Doctor Kelly Lash - I want to have your babies. You are clearly worth your pay packet. Me love you long time. [/QUOTE] Kelly is a woman’s name over here (at least, \*I’ve \*never heard it used as a guy’s name) so you may unfortunately be out of luck there. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680/6 "2006-11-09T09:19:14Z")
[QUOTE=Bites When Provoked] Kelly is a woman’s name over here (at least, \*I’ve \*never heard it used as a guy’s name) so you may unfortunately be out of luck there. 😉 [/QUOTE] **Freudian PUB** kould always be a surrogate mum. Senator Stephen Konroy has been a good Katholik Boy…she kould always be a good katholik inkubator for his (or anybody else’s) partner!! Thus, the gender of the person she wishes to bear the babies of is quite irrelevant really, innit?? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680/7 "2006-11-09T09:34:42Z")
My proposal for a cull: At strategically chosen points along the migration routes where they’re known to congregate, traps will be laid, bated with large posters of kangaroos, koalas and Paul Hogan (this last is to ensure that local species are not caught by mistake). Once inside, the tourists may then be either humanely euthanized and rendered for fertilizer, or transported to the national game preserve/petting zoo at Manus Island. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/edb3f5/32.png) [@Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Push_Up_Bra)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680/8 "2006-11-09T10:13:15Z")
[QUOTE=Bites When Provoked] Kelly is a woman’s name over here (at least, \*I’ve \*never heard it used as a guy’s name) so you may unfortunately be out of luck there. 😉 [/QUOTE] Clearly I’m willing to go to great lengths to make it possible :D. And I do like the abbreviation of **Freudian PUB**. ---
**Author:** ![mrklutz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@mrklutz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrklutz)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680/9 "2006-11-09T15:57:07Z")
Well, if the Powers That Be decide the crocodiles need to be culled because of this, I think they should assign the task to the doctor who treated the tourist. He sounds sensible enough to get up on a bridge overlooking the crocodiles’ habitat and shout, “You lot! Consider yourself culled!” and go home. ---
**Author:** ![mrklutz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@mrklutz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrklutz)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680/10 "2006-11-09T15:58:38Z")
Er, make that _she_ sounds sensible enough. D’oh. ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680/11 "2006-11-09T16:14:02Z")
So you think crocs \> humans?!! [ps](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=394956) ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680/12 "2006-11-09T17:26:16Z")
Hasn’t the guy ever heard of a zoom lens? ---
**Author:** ![GawnFishin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e9bcb4/32.png) [@GawnFishin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GawnFishin)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680/13 "2006-11-09T17:39:36Z")
[QUOTE=Zebra] Hasn’t the guy ever heard of a zoom lens? [/QUOTE] Of course he has but they are so expensive, they cost an arm and a leg don’t ya know! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680/14 "2006-11-09T17:41:42Z")
[QUOTE=Ensign Edison] So you think crocs \> humans?!! [ps](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=394956) [/QUOTE] Well maybe crocs \> stupid humans, that’s a tougher call. ---
**Author:** ![Hogwash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e57/32.png) [@Hogwash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hogwash)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680/15 "2006-11-09T17:42:29Z")
[QUOTE=Bites When Provoked] Kelly is a woman’s name over here (at least, \*I’ve \*never heard it used as a guy’s name) so you may unfortunately be out of luck there. 😉 [/QUOTE] But she might have some of that lovely woman sperm. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680/16 "2006-11-09T17:47:25Z")
The city is really called Townsville? Isn’t that where the Powerpuff Girls live? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680/17 "2006-11-09T20:41:30Z")
[QUOTE=Sublight] My proposal for a cull: At strategically chosen points along the migration routes where they’re known to congregate, traps will be laid, bated with large posters of kangaroos, koalas and Paul Hogan (this last is to ensure that local species are not caught by mistake). Once inside, the tourists may then be either humanely euthanized and rendered for fertilizer, or transported to the national game preserve/petting zoo at Manus Island. [/QUOTE] An altogether sound plan, but may I suggest another option? As opposed to euthanizing or relocating, population control can also be achieved through sterilization. This eliminates the necessity of killing these poor dumb creatures and allows them to live out the rest of their natural lives without procreating thereby gradually reducing overall numbers. I’m sure there are many humane Australians who would be willing to donate some of their time in order to perform this procedure. I leave the method as an exercise for the reader. Oh relax, I’m not really advocatong castrating tourists! ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680/18 "2006-11-09T21:05:37Z")
FWIW, when my wife and I were tourists in Cairns 8 years ago, we went on a rainforest tour that included a trip to an “authentic rainforest swimming hole”. There were 3 “Caution - Crocodiles” signs around the hole, but the tour guides assured us it was perfectly safe. Noticing that the guides didn’t go in the water, my wife and I declined, but plenty of other tourists went for a swim, and returned with all their limbs. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680/19 "2006-11-09T21:08:33Z")
[QUOTE=zoid] Oh relax, I’m not really advocatong castrating tourists! [/QUOTE] Why not? ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680/20 "2006-11-09T21:14:00Z")
[QUOTE=muldoonthief] FWIW, when my wife and I were tourists in Cairns 8 years ago, we went on a rainforest tour that included a trip to an “authentic rainforest swimming hole”. There were 3 “Caution - Crocodiles” signs around the hole, but the tour guides assured us it was perfectly safe. Noticing that the guides didn’t go in the water, my wife and I declined, but plenty of other tourists went for a swim, and returned with all their limbs. [/QUOTE] When **Mrs Magill** and I were in Sydney, the harbor tour taught us crocs and sharks were obviously the leading cause of death for Americans in Oz. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clearly-he-was-asking-for-it/379680.md?page=2)