# Clerihews, you make some. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 2, 2009, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684 "2009-07-02T12:46:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684/1 "2009-07-02T12:46:39Z")
Salt, A World History is not as boring a book as it may sound. It’s full of salty little tidbits, like this passage: - Edmund Clerihew Bentley, a British author of crime novels who lived from 1875 to 1956, wrote these lines, it is said, while in a chemistry class: Sir Humphry Davy Abominated gravy. He lived in odium Of having discovered sodium. This was the first verse type known as a clerihew. . .\* A clerihew is a biographical 4 line verse, the first verse being the name of the subject. It’s rhymed AABB, it’s meter can be as screwed up as you like. I have made 3 memorial clerihews and one just because. Micheal Jackson Sound the claxon! His million fans wept And with boys he slept Billy Mays Who wasn’t Willie Mays Lived the entrepreneurial dream by selling lotsa Oxy-Clean Farrah Fawcett Had a six million dollar man, then lost it Got the stepmom deal With Tatum O’Neal Sarah Palin 5 kids trailing So foxy to the conservative and staid that in her honor, porno is made P.S. I wasn’t sure if this should go here or The Game Room. I chose here because it’s about a book and poetry. Stupid poetry but poetry just the same. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684/2 "2009-07-02T12:53:13Z")
Ogden Nash Wrote anything but trash. Folks trying to copy his verse Have done a lot worse. I dunno, just seemed appropriate somehow… ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684/3 "2009-07-02T12:55:35Z")
> [@Olentzero](#): > > Ogden Nash > Wrote anything but trash. > Folks trying to copy his verse > Have done a lot worse. > > I dunno, just seemed appropriate somehow… Ogden was copying Bentley, to be sure. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684/4 "2009-07-02T12:57:00Z")
'S what I figured. ---
**Author:** ![AppallingGael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9bd4f/32.png) [@AppallingGael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AppallingGael)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684/5 "2009-07-02T13:18:59Z")
Will try to come up with something newer/more current, but for now this is one I wrote a couple of years ago: Relaxing is the hour I spend with Schopenhauer On my next vacation I’ll bring _The World as Will and Representation_ ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684/6 "2009-07-02T15:37:11Z")
> [@AppallingGael](#): > > Will try to come up with something newer/more current, but for now this is one I wrote a couple of years ago: > > Relaxing is the hour > I spend with Schopenhauer > On my next vacation > I’ll bring _The World as Will and Representation_ Yabbut, technically that’s not a clerihew. The first line has to the the name of the subject person, and only that name. I don’t have time to write one right now (though I love doing so!), so I’ll contribute one of my favorites written by someone else: Mozart Could never resist a tart. In the ordinary way He ate seven or eight a day. ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684/7 "2009-07-02T15:44:23Z")
I’ll try to dream one up but, like **Scarlett** , I have a favourite. _Sir Christopher Wren said “I’m going to dine with some men. If anyone calls, Say I’m designing St. Paul’s.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684/8 "2009-07-02T17:11:21Z")
People aren’t exactly queueing up to post so I’ll stick my head above the parapet with this: Captain James Tiberius Kirk Was two days overdue at _The Enterprise_ (his place of work), His excuse for being late Was a miscalculation of the stardate. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684/9 "2009-07-02T19:09:52Z")
Barack Obama Not the type to say “yo mama” He’s way more well-spoken His only vice is smokin’. Sorry, I’ve always completely sucked at these. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684/10 "2009-07-02T19:38:44Z")
On the occasion of Christopher Lee’s recent knighthood: [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11242171&postcount=1858). ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684/11 "2009-07-02T20:05:25Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Barack Obama > Not the type to say “yo mama” > He’s way more well-spoken > His only vice is smokin’. > Sorry, I’ve always completely sucked at these. I’ve seen better rhymes, but not in this thread 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684/12 "2009-07-02T20:28:54Z")
Vladimir Putin, like Issac Newton, uses gravitation to ensure his station. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684/13 "2009-07-02T20:54:00Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > I’ve seen better rhymes, but not in this thread 🙂 Ludovic posts a nitpick. Has seen better rhymes. Has heard better mimes? ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684/14 "2009-07-02T22:25:06Z")
> [@Chez\_Guevara](#): > > People aren’t exactly queueing up to post so I’ll stick my head above the parapet with this: > > Captain James Tiberius Kirk > Was two days overdue at _The Enterprise_ (his place of work), > His excuse for being late > Was a miscalculation of the stardate. James Tiberius Kirk Was an obnoxious jerk A fat tub of lard Not as good as Picard. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684/15 "2009-07-02T22:33:09Z")
Oooh! A clerihew throw down! BTW, who names their kid Clerihew? ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684/16 "2009-07-02T22:38:00Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > On the occasion of Christopher Lee’s recent knighthood: [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11242171&postcount=1858). Oh Bravo! ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684/17 "2009-07-02T22:51:00Z")
Rafael Nadal Can really hit the ball He plays left-handed And head-banded [he’s so cute](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Nadal_Australian_Open_2009_2.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684/18 "2009-07-03T00:23:25Z")
Jesus H. Christ Had genes that were spliced. It’s quite obvious where the origins of his X chromosome lie But no one knows, Y. ---
**Author:** ![AppallingGael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9bd4f/32.png) [@AppallingGael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AppallingGael)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684/19 "2009-07-03T00:30:06Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > Yabbut, technically that’s not a clerihew. The first line has to the the name of the subject person, and only that name. Incorrect. [Bentley himself](http://www.wardsbookofdays.com/30march.htm) observed no such restriction. Julius Caesar Always carried a tweezer The way that he’d preen You’d think him a queen. George Gordon, Lord Byron Had more than enough to retire on. His army jaunt bespeaks A love for Greek and Greeks. Joyce’s _Ulysses_ Is strictly for sissies; A mere piece of cake After _Finnegans Wake_. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2009, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684/20 "2009-07-03T00:38:49Z")
Bubbles Knew all Michael’s troubles. One day when Michael made him mad, to withhold his love, He hid Michael’s other glove. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerihews-you-make-some/501684.md?page=2)